Page 80 of Always Beth
‘Hi.’ She turns to me as I open the door, holding the largest Victoria sponge I think I’ve ever seen. She smiles nervously, thrusting the tower of cake towards me.
‘Happy—’
‘Don’t say it, it’s not until tomorrow anyway.’ I hear the patter of tiny paws behind me and know that Poppy is somewhere beneath my feet, but between me and the cake I’ve no hope of seeing where.
‘I would ask how you knew about our birthday, but that’s probably a silly question.’
‘She asked for a cake and who am I to deny her special birthday request? She said today though not tomorrow.’
‘What Lauren wants, Lauren can have.’ I chuckle as I slide the cake on to the worktop.
‘And what about what James wants?’ She giggles.
Her cheeks immediately turn a deep shade of pink and it forces me to think of all the ways I could possibly answer her question. ‘What James wants, James can’t have.’
I step towards her and pull her into my arms, resting my head on top of hers. ‘Thank you for coming, you’ll stay, won’t you?’ Her heart beats rapidly against me and it seems to ease the tension I’ve been holding in all morning. I don’t know why, but I need her more today than any other.
‘Of course, I’ll stay,’ she whispers, her words vibrating across my chest.
An almighty crash pulls us apart and all sorts of dread fills me at what those two dogs could be up to. Beth follows as I storm into the lounge to be greeted with Lauren fumbling above the fireplace.
‘What are you doing? You’re supposed to be in the garden resting?’ I cry.
She readjusts the old carriage clock on the mantle and holds my phone out towards me. ‘I was err dusting. Here, you left this in the garden.’ I reach out, taking my phone from her and sliding it into my back pocket without a second glance.
‘Dusting? It’s a bit late to start being a domestic goddess now,’ I quip.
‘Why? Because I’m turning forty or because I’m dying?’
‘Lauren…’ Beth’s hand connects with the small of my back and the guilt of my statement is immediately eased by her touch.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that, you’re right, I need to rest.’ She sighs as she glances towards the stairs. ‘Could you…’
‘Of course I can.’
Beth steps out of the way as I lift her weightless body into my arms and a lump forms in my throat as I place my first foot on the bottom stair. ‘You know I’m only doing this because you’re exhausted, think of it as a birthday treat, usually I’d tell you to fuck off.’
Resting her head on my shoulder, her body jolts slightly in the absence of her usual laugh. ‘Of course,’ she whispers.
ChapterTwenty-One
James
Wandering through the cottage, I spot Beth basking in the late afternoon sun and I’m immediately as concerned with her pale complexion as Lauren was with mine. I grab the lotion from the side and tower above her, casting a shadow in the sun’s path.
‘Do you err want some?’
She hesitates as she glances up at me, pulling her hair softly to one side. I apply a small amount to her shoulders and massage her with a small circular motion.
‘So, nurses?’ she says finally.
‘Yeah, they’ve started coming in every day, you know to help her with things I can’t.’
Her eyes dart to the side and over her shoulder towards me. ‘You know I would have—’
‘I know.’ My hands still, the lotion now completely absorbed. I know it and she knows it, but despite this I don’t break our connection. In this moment, I need it.
‘When she was first diagnosed, I never thought we’d end up here. She responded so well to treatment. As far as I was concerned, she was invincible, we were invincible.’
