Page 51 of Always Beth
I smile and David slowly backs away down the path. Relief seeps from my pores as he approaches the gate, and I wonder what’s happening in the universe, to bring me not one but two men who are interested in me.
‘Oh, Beth…’ David turns and I immediately tense. ‘You had quite a few parcels whilst you were away. They’re at the village post office.’
‘Oh, great, thanks for letting me know.’
‘Pop in and Mary will help you out, she’ll see you right.’
I nod, finally closing the door, then leaning back against the hard wood, I sigh heavily wandering in to see Poppy.
‘So…I guess you’re missing a certain dachshund, aren’t you?’ Her ears prick up and I shake my head, she knows who I’m talking about. ‘You want Dick, don’t you?’ She lets out a small yap and her tail wags excitedly. Between us we’re absolutely done for.
James
The weather’s the best I’ve seen in a long time and for a moment it makes me forget that things are soon going to change and I’ve no control whatsoever. I glance across at Lauren who is continuing to nurse the hangover to end all hangovers underneath the parasol. I, on the other hand, am lying back and soaking up every last ray the British weather has to offer.
‘Have you got sun cream on?’ she asks.
I peer above my paper as she looks at me with one eye open. ‘No, Mum.’
‘Well, you should, because the sun will ruin your pretty-boy looks and well, cancer’s a bitch.’
Keeping myself hidden behind the broadsheet, I swallow the lump in my throat. Am I being too brazen with my health, are things like this an insult or smack in the face? I’ve read the same sentence over and over and my concentration has all but disappeared. Cancer is a bitch.
‘I, erm, will go and find some.’
Pulling myself up from the lounger, I glance back at the cottage.
‘Do you want some?’
‘I think it’s a little redundant for me now, don’t you?’ She snorts. ‘Sit back down for fuck’s sake, you’re thirty-nine, you don’t need me to tell you when to put sun cream on.’
Collapsing back down, I toss my paper to the side and turn to face her. For a minute we sit in comfortable silence, staring at one another and after yesterday, it’s the peacefulness we both need.
‘I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday,’ I say tentatively.
‘Does it hurt?’ She pulls a ridiculous face, starting to giggle.
‘Would it be selfish if I met someone? Hypothetically of course.’
She sits up abruptly and leans towards me. ‘You’ve met someone?’
‘Hypothetically, Lauren.’
Her eyes dance, trying hard to contain her excitement. ‘Not at all. Hypothetical or not.’
I nod cautiously as I consider my next move. If I open up now, it’ll be the first time I’ve spoken about any aspect of my love life to her in over five years. The fallout from my last relationship hurt her as much as it did me. I’m not sure I could risk it, not now. Lauren needs nothing but happiness.
I rub my days old stubble and turn to face the sky. ‘Well that’s something to think about then.’
‘You need some happiness, James.’
‘And what about you?’ I ask in return.
‘That ship’s sailed.’
Her face is solemn. If she has any regrets, she’s always internalised them. ‘Do you remember Justin?’ she suddenly pipes up.
I shake my head at the memory. ‘That waste of space was no good for you.’
