Page 23 of Always Beth
ChapterSeven
James
Ilove the legal system, it’s why I do what I do, but I swear that policeman was out to ruin further, what was already a very shitty day. I knew I shouldn’t have accepted her lift, putting myself in such close proximity to her was never going to end well, but after my argument with Lauren, all I wanted to do was forget. In hindsight maybe the policeman did me a favour – getting caught up with Beth will be no good for either of us right now. For the first time in my life, I’m trying to say no to doing what the hell I want and at the same time, I’ve never wanted someone more. What are the odds of that happening?
Lauren was fast asleep when I got home, and unable to move myself from the couch, I spent the whole night in front of the television. For all Lauren knows, I might not have come home at all. Her slippers drag along the hallway and I hold my breath as I wonder whether or not we’ve reached a truce.
She hesitates by the doorway. ‘How did you get home last night?’
‘Ambulance.’
‘Ha. Ha. Ha.’
Her eyes are pinned to me as she slides on to the sofa next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. ‘Am I forgiven?’ I lift my arm so she falls into my embrace. I’ve never been able to stay angry with her.
‘It depends, am I forgiven?’
‘You know I’d forgive you anything,’ she whispers.
It’s true, she always has; late to dinner, missing trips to the cinema, hell, I even stood her up at a work function once. All because of some woman.
‘So how did you get home?’
An uneasiness grips me as I prepare to lie. ‘Taxi.’
Holding her fist against her mouth, she winces as she pushes against me.
‘What’s wrong?’
I follow her as she charges from the lounge and collapses in a heap in front of the toilet. Kneeling next to her, I gingerly hold her hair back from her face. It was once a vibrant chestnut, full of volume, now it’s lifeless and dull. It’s like her sparkle is fading and I can’t do anything to stop it.
‘Don’t watch me be sick,’ she croaks as she rests her head on the seat.
‘I’m here for the good and the bad.’
‘I know.’
Collapsing back against the wall, she’s drained and exhausted.
‘James, I did something last night and I don’t want you to be angry with me.’
My body tenses as I lean towards her, placing my hand on top of hers.
‘I could never be angry with you, there’s nothing you could do that—’
‘I called Jacob…’ she says hurriedly.
I recoil from her and swallow hard as his names passes her lips.
‘James, say something.’
I can’t believe this. ‘I wasn’t ready, Lauren.’
Turning, I scramble to my feet and head straight for the front door. The coats fall spectacularly from their hooks as I yank Dick’s lead free. The patter of his feet along the hallway tells me he’s near and I open the door, just in time for him to fly past me.
‘You need to keep him on the lead,’ Lauren’s voice travels from the toilet and I roll my eyes as I secure his collar. I slam the door behind me and slouch, completely deflated. The thought of him coming here, being near us, sets every one of my nerves alight. What am I supposed to do, find it in my heart to forgive him because Lauren says it’s time? He slept with my girlfriend and that isn’t something you easily forget. My feet pound along the driveway, stone and shingle flying everywhere. I need to forget about everything and there’s only one place that I’ve been able to do that since I left London. Or should I say one person. She’s as lost as me, I know she is. Hurting from something or someone. Every time we’re together, I see a fleeting glint in her eye that tells me I’ve made her forget her problems, if only for a moment. I come to a standstill outside the cottage. It’s the first time I’ve been here and haven’t hesitated. I storm along the path and hammer on the door without another thought.
Beth
