Page 104 of Always Beth
Beth
You’d have thought I was trying to enter Buckingham Palace with the security interrogation I faced getting into this building.
It wasn’t like he knew I was coming, hell, until a few hours ago I didn’t know I was coming either. Yet here I am sitting on the floor outside of his apartment. Waiting. I did think about turning up at the office, but without a well-rehearsed speech, the fear of embarrassing myself, and him for that matter, was too great. So here I am breastfeeding Lorena in the corridor, praying that any second the elevator opens and out he walks. I really didn’t think this through. I check my phone for the fifth time, seeing that only twenty minutes has passed. What if he’s working late? What if he’s gone out after work? God…what if he brings someone back with him?
The numbers on the elevator change and I hold my breath waiting to see whether it’s going to stop. I quickly glance down at Lorena and debate whether it’s worthwhile cutting her feed short on the off chance it isn’t her father who steps out. As the doors part, I stare intently and our eyes immediately meet. My stomach somersaults at the sight of him in his well-cut suit and his clean shaven and well-groomed appearance. This is a James I’ve only seen a handful of times. I’m going to struggle to stay mad at him when he looks this good. He falters as he steps out, looking along the corridor, he silently towers above me and reaches out for my hand, helping me to my feet with Lorena still locked on for dear life.
‘What are you doing here?’ he whispers.
‘We need to talk.’
Raising his brow, he waves his phone as he unlocks the door to his apartment. ‘That’s what these are for.’ He steps back, allowing me through and as I turn to watch him wheel in the pram and my bags, my ovaries flutter. If he hadn’t already impregnated me, then the sight of James Taylor, the barrister soon to be KC, pushing a pram would be sure to do it. He seems so calm and collected, not at all how I expected him to react.
‘Are you not pleased to see us?’
Placing his keys gently on the side, he looks back and forth between Lorena and I and smiles softly. ‘Of course, I’m just surprised. I thought this is the last place you wanted to be.’
He’s not wrong. Returning to London was never part of my plan, but now I know what I know, I couldn’t not come.
‘So where are they then?’ I wander to the couch and begin to dress myself. His face is full of confusion as he shakes off his jacket and unbuttons his shirt, removing his tie. He lifts Lorena from my arms and I can’t tear my eyes away as he steps straight from work mode into dad mode.
‘Where are what?’ he asks, barely taking his eyes from her.
‘The two hundred and fifty wax melts you’ve had me making for the past twelve months for your own entertainment.’
His mouth opens before swallowing hard. ‘It’s, err, not what you think.’
Taking a muslin cloth from the changing bag, he throws it over his shoulder, lifting Lorena close to his chest, massaging her back gently. Okay that was hot. Watching him play daddy here in this apartment is doing things to me I wasn’t prepared for. This wasn’t the plan, I can’t let him distract me.
I throw my arms wide in exasperation. ‘What am I thinking?’
‘That it was just another way of getting money into your pocket, but I swear to you it was—’
‘Was what?’
He drops to the couch, pulling Lorena close to his body. ‘A mistake clearly.’
‘You think?’ I cry.
His jaw clenches and he stands abruptly, placing Lorena back in her pram. ‘Actually no.’
‘No. What do you mean no? First it’s my legal fees and now the wax melts.’
He frowns. ‘Okay, the legal fees I know was too much, but this isn’t even comparable. It’s boxes of flaming candles, pardon the pun. It wasn’t exactly going to rock your world financially, was it? Anyway, look around, can you see them? No because I gave them all to hospices. What would I want with two hundred and fifty wax melts?’
‘You gave them all to hospices?’ My eyes immediately fill with tears as I realise I may have underestimated him.
‘Yes, what was I going to do with them, hold weekly seances?’ He falters almost like he’s considering it.
‘She’ll haunt you for the rest of time, you wouldn’t need to summon her.’
He erupts into laughter and the sound soothes me.
‘So, you weren’t trying to sneak me money?’
‘No. I was trying to support you and by donating them to hospices, it was my way of doing something because I couldn’t help her.’
I uncurl my arms from around my middle, freeing myself from the invisible barrier I tried to put between us. ‘Support me? No one’s ever supported me before. It’s always been the other way around.’
