Page 87 of Always Beth
I hold out the piece of paper I’ve been clutching this whole time in front of me. ‘My divorce, it came through…’
He falters as he reaches out to look at the paperwork and then a slow smile spreads across his face. ‘That’s amazing, Beth. You’re free now, you’ve got the rest of your life, don’t waste it.’
Reaching out, he runs his hand across Dick, ruffling his big floppy ears.
‘You look after her, buddy, she means the world to me.’
I stare up at him and search his face, willing him to stay. ‘I’ll wait for you.’
Cupping my cheek in his hand, he brushes my tears away and kisses me softly. ‘Don’t,’ he whispers.
This isn’t goodbye for a while, it’s goodbye forever.
Our lips part and the love and warmth he’s shown me over these past few months, is gone. Stepping back, he rolls his cases towards the taxi and hurriedly climbs into the back. Swallowing hard, I try to control the overwhelming pain emanating from inside but it’s too much and I sob. He closes his eyes and his bottom lip trembles as he mutters a few words to the driver before the taxi slowly pulls away.
I don’t know how long I stand in the garden before making my way back to the cottage, all I know is that it’s dark and cold and I feel more alone now than I did in my loveless marriage. Dick scampers quickly across the kitchen floor and straight into Poppy’s basket. I sit and stare at them for what feels like an eternity, snuggled in close to one another like they’ve never been apart. At least these two have their happy ending.
ChapterTwenty-Three
Four months later
James
Idon’t know why I chose South America.
It seemed like one of the places I could do the most good. Despite my extensive legal background and experience there are limited places you can practice without having to do some element of retraining. I’ve my connections though and many of them jumped at the chance of having me with over ten years in the field as opposed to fresh out of university. I thought that legal aid work was something I’d have completed earlier in my career, but now I’m here I know I would have been in no way equipped in my younger days to deal with some of the things that I’ve come across. In a strange way every person I help soothes my anguish at not being able to do anything for Lauren. Law and medicine aren’t that different when you think about it, it’s still someone else’s life in your hands, someone else playing god. Argentina is beautiful and I was lucky enough to find myself an apartment along the coastline that’s secluded enough for me and my thoughts and within a reasonable distance to commute into Buenos Aires. The firm I’ve found myself with is based on the outskirts of the city, which is a blessing because in many ways the heart of the capital reminds me of London. The river flows through the centre of everything with the banks lined with businesses and hotels. It’s all a bit too familiar when I’m trying to forget.
For the first few weeks I was just about ready to pack my bags and get the next flight home. Leaving Beth was harder than I ever imagined, and her phone calls and messages made my heart break a little bit more than it already was. Not that I ever accepted a single one, reading her words and hearing her voice mails were enough. Cutting her off completely was the best thing for her. When she eventually stopped calling, I changed my number just so I would never know. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about her or wonder what she’s doing. Has she done exactly as she was meant to – go on and live her life, not being held back by any man? Has she found someone who can give her everything she’s ever wanted? Someone who can treat her how she deserves.
Relaxing back in my weathered leather desk chair, I stare at the piles of paperwork in the tiny hole that I’ve had the pleasure of calling an office for the last few months. The lack of air conditioning and aged paper give the whole place a distinct odour, which is unpleasant most days to say the least, but now the temperatures are rocketing, it’s making the place even less desirable. It’s Friday afternoon and like clockwork I expect Elize, one of the office juniors, to make her weekly trip to my office to offer her obligatory invite out with the rest of the team. Either she genuinely feels sorry for me or it’s because she’s the only one who speaks English fluently enough to hold a full conversation with me. That’s definitely my issue though. I was kidding myself when I thought Latin was a suitable language accompaniment to my law degree. Spanish would have come in handy that’s for sure. Up until today I’ve politely declined every invite, but I’m going to have to move on from my own company at some point and perhaps tonight’s the night.
‘Can I tempt you to come out with us this evening?’ Right on cue, there she is, lingering in the doorway. Her dark hair neatly tied back and her tanned skin glowing from the afternoon sun.
‘Sure, why not?’
‘Oh. Okay.’ An apprehensive smile flashes across her face. It’s like she’s realised that now I’ve said yes, she’s actually going to have to make more than pleasant conversation with me.
‘Unless you’d rather I didn’t?’ I say cautiously.
‘No, no, not at all, you usually say no, so it’s a surprise.’
‘I need to make more of an effort, so let’s start tonight.’
She nods and clasps her hands together. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll look after you, I won’t let the guys get you fucked up on beer.’
I laugh as she wanders off down the corridor, with the amount I’ve been drinking it will be hard to get me fucked up on anything, but I appreciate her sentiment, nevertheless. I switch my phone on to the camera and take a quick selfie. It’s official, I’ve let myself go. I google the closest barbers and click on directions. Ten minutes away, perfect. In no time I’ll start to resemble the old me again.
* * *
The bar is heaving as I make my way through the throng of Friday night drinkers. I catch a glimpse of Elize waving at me in the distance. I can see the expression on their faces as I approach, clearly none of them thought I was going to show.
‘Ah, James, beer?’ Lorenzo asks. He’s probably the youngest person in the office and I doubt he has the stamina to even keep up with me, although I can’t blame him for thinking he could drink me under the table, considering my reluctance to come out up until now. I eye Elize and she has a bottle of red in front of her with one spare empty glass. ‘I think I’ll pass on the beer for now thanks.’ I slide into the booth and Elize pushes the glass towards me, and I wait eagerly as she fills it. Turning the bottle to face me, I study the label.
‘Argentinian Malbec, it’s the best in the world,’ she says confidently.
I inhale before taking a cautious sip, the deep velvety texture coats my tongue as smoky notes fill my nostrils.
‘You like?’
