Page 86 of Always Beth
Jacob’s shoulders slump in defeat. ‘No. It’s too late.’
‘Unless she’s had a funeral, it’s not too late. Go.’ James focuses on Jacob and the tension slowly eases in his body.
Jacob looks back and forth nervously between the two of us and as James’ blessing sinks in, he begins to relax.
‘Are we okay?’ he asks nervously.
‘We’re better. Now go.’
I release my grip from James’ arm as Jacob leaves the kitchen and hold my breath waiting to hear we’re okay.
‘I better get back to the guests.’ Standing, he makes his way towards the lounge and panic immediately sets in.
‘James—’
He turns, holding both hands in the air, cutting the conversation dead.
James
The only positive from today was the sound of voices filling the cottage. Voices reminiscing, sharing their memories of Lauren. I swallow hard as I stare at my laptop screen. Out the corner of my eye, I see the envelope with my name that I’ve sat on for the last two weeks. I’m too scared to open it because once I do, that’s it, there’s no more Lauren. Tipping my head back, I drain the contents of my glass and pour myself another whiskey, I grimace at the burn, it isn’t my usual choice of drink at all, but after today, wine isn’t going to cut it. Seeing Jacob in Beth’s arms this afternoon stung. I know deep down that it was exactly what they said it was. I’ve doubts about my brother, but I know Beth would never in a million years do something like that. Everything about last night was perfect, but then this morning came, and I had to face reality – Lauren’s gone and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Getting over this is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done and staying here isn’t going to make things any easier. Even if I did, I would only drag Beth down with me and all I want is for her to get her life back on track. I enter my card details and wait for confirmation. As the screen refreshes a mixture of relief and sadness washes over me. Dick hovers at my feet and I know this will be the best thing for him as well. It’s a well-known fact that dogs pine for their owners and as much as we’ve grown to tolerate each other over the last few months, I’m never going to fill the Lauren-shaped hole in his little heart. He tilts his head and whimpers, as if he knows what I’ve just done. ‘It’s for the best, buddy, believe me. You’ll have a better time without me. Trust.’
Beth
Decree Absolut.
Two words I’ve both dreaded and longed for at the same time. One chapter of my life is officially over and if I didn’t have James, I wouldn’t be handling this as well as I am. He was never what I was looking for, and the planets definitely didn’t align as we met in the paddock a few months ago, but he’s breathed life back into me and shown me that some men can be honourable. Clutching the piece of paper firmly, I dash from the cottage. He’s the only person I want to share this news with. Now I can move on properly without this dark cloud hanging over me. The sun is low over the cottages and my feet are practically skipping along the lane. My insides are a jumble of nerves. Last night we found each other again, in the most heartbreaking of circumstances, but we need each other more now than we ever have. I can’t imagine what my life here would be like without him and after falling asleep in each other’s arms yesterday, bringing up the topic of us one more time just feels right. I swallow hard as I turn the corner and make my way along the path. James was right, the cottage is quiet. Up ahead, light shines from the front door and there’s a low hum of conversation travelling from the hallway.
‘Yeah, a taxi please as soon as possible. The airport, we need to make a quick stop on the way. How long?’
The airport?
I push gently against the door and it falls open as James ends his call. His face drops as his eyes meet mine and I know in an instant that despite last night, there is nous.
‘Beth, I was just coming to see you.’
‘Am I the quick stop?’
‘I know I’m springing this on you, but can you take care of Dick?’
I glance around his feet at the bags and cases, this isn’t a short trip. Panic rises from the pit of my stomach. ‘Where are you going?’
‘South America. I’m going to spend some time doing legal aid work.’
Scooping Dick into my arms, I clutch him tightly in comfort. ‘For how long?’
‘Six months, a year, I don’t know.’
‘But…’ My voice breaks before I can finish my sentence. As tears fill my eyes, my chest rises and falls rapidly as I try to contain my emotions.
‘I’m sorry, Beth, I can’t stay here.’
‘Last night…’ I whisper.
‘Was incredible and if I was less selfish I would have stayed away. I was only thinking about what I needed. You deserve so much better than that and I can’t give you what you deserve right now.’
‘James, please?’ I choke on my words as the tears fall fast and heavy, burning at my cheeks.
The noise of tyres on the shingle sounds along the lane – time is running out. As he clicks the front door closed, it seems so final.
