Page 44 of Always Beth
‘I know it’s difficult, Beth.’
‘Do you?’ I snap.
‘Yes, now tell me,’ he says firmly. His tone’s as commanding as it is in the bedroom, although this is doing little to turn me on.
‘Fine. Thought he was cheating, didn’t have any proof, tortured myself for months in the pursuit of evidence, six months later followed him to her doorstep and confronted him.’
His eyes narrow and his pen slows on the paper. ‘Go on, take your time.’
‘He denied it at first and then it all came crashing down around me. I couldn’t speak, I could barely hold myself up. I knew the truth, I’d known it for months, but seeing it in the cold light of day was something else.’
My hands are twisted in front of me, my fingers tightly interlocked. I don’t think there’s a time that these memories haven’t brought on a state of anxiety.
‘And then he begged for your forgiveness, I suppose, followed you home with his tail between his legs?’ He doesn’t even glance up as he continues to scribe his version of events at a furious pace.
‘No.’
He pauses and looks up. ‘What do you mean no?’
‘I mean that’s not what happened.’
James’ face says it all. That’s what’s supposed to happen when your wife finds you having an affair, but not Stephen. Oh no, even in that moment, he continued to think of only himself.
‘He sent me home. And I went.’ I can’t help but laugh, hearing it out loud. ‘I’m pathetic, aren’t I?’
‘No. Not at all, he’s the pathetic one. Jesus, I’ve heard some things in my time, but that, Beth.’ He breathes out heavily and scratches his last sentence from the paper.
‘I think that’s enough for today, don’t you?’ He smiles at me softly.
I nod slowly as I struggle to push the resurfaced memories from my mind.
‘I know how you feel, you know?’ he croaks.
I wait in confusion for him to continue. Does he have a secret past I know nothing about? ‘You do?’
‘I know what betrayal can do to you.’ Deep frown lines frame his face as he internally processes the memories. I don’t think I’ve seen him this way before and it makes me scared to even ask what happened. As we sit in silence, he suddenly snaps out of wherever he went and turns to look out the window.
‘Come on. We’re going out,’ he says, reaching for my hand.
‘To do what?’
‘To get fucked up.’
ChapterThirteen
Beth
My head is practically glued to the pillow. I don’t remember how I got here and think the hangover from hell is about to kick in.
‘Good morning.’ James chuckles.
‘Oh god, is it?’
Running my hand through my hair, I glance along my fully clothed arm. ‘Why am I wearing your shirt?’
‘Very good question.’
I pull myself up in the bed and devour the sight of his semi-naked body. Every part of him is exactly as it should be, the perfect curve of his muscles, the smattering of dark hair on his chest, the delicious trail that runs from his navel to his groin, and here I am looking and feeling like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.
