Page 28 of Always Beth
Nothing.
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to keep going on walks. It’s quite clear after yesterday there’s more to him than that. A lot more. Oh god, I knew this was going to happen. A few weeks ago I didn’t even want to open the door to him, now he has me staring at my phone waiting for a reply.
Flipping open my laptop, I fire off an email to my old solicitor, letting him know I’ve found someone to represent me. I think back to our conversation on the way home from the hospital.I’m a barrister.
He says I need a solicitor and a barrister, but why? Scratching my head, I ashamedly google the question: What’s the difference between a barrister and a solicitor?
As I digest the results, I can feel the already non-existent funds drain from my bank account. Do I need representation in court? Are we even going to court? The palpitations are heavy in my chest and I grip the edge of the table with white-knuckle force. Slamming the laptop shut, I fire off another message to him.
Beth: About your offer yesterday, perhaps it’s best if I find someone else x
I can’t be beholden to him in any way. I won’t do it to myself. Not to any man ever again. Especially not one who keeps me hanging on read.
I pull an empty box from the side to pack away a new wax melt order. Every few minutes I check my phone, like I wouldn’t know if a message had come through. Maybe this is all a joke to him, drawing me in, offering his legal services and more. Before I know it, I’ll end up indebted to him and I can’t let that happen. I can’t imagine for a second that James makes a habit of seducing potential clients, in fact, I’m probably nothing like the women he’s used to. I sink deflated at the kitchen table. I’ve just replaced one horrific mess with another. I push my phone to the side and it clatters against the wall, at this point I don’t even care if it breaks, it’s probably a blessing. Tucking Poppy underneath my arm, I take a quick glance outside, the weather is so mild I can’t even justify not going for a walk alone. Pulling my coat and her lead from the hooks, I open the door and allow her a head start to the gate. I eye my phone, still silent on the kitchen table, I’m definitely leaving that behind.
James
‘Today’s been the best, thank you.’ Lauren squeezes my arm as we pull up outside the cottage. As far as day trips go it was pretty memorable, for both of us.
‘Shame I had to wade out into the river to rescue Dick though.’ I glance in the rear-view mirror and as we lock eyes, his tail slows and drops to the seat.
‘I don’t know why he suddenly went after that Yorkshire terrier – it was like he knew her,’ Lauren says as she slides from the passenger seat.
It was one hundred per cent a case of mistaken identity, which I ended up paying the price for. ‘All I know is I walked around with wet jeans all afternoon. He’s officially in the doghouse.’
She follows me slowly into the cottage and heads straight for the stairs, ‘James, today has been lovely, but it’s taken it right out of me. I’m going to bed.’
The harsh reality hits me once more that she’s seriously ill and no day trip is going to change that. I hesitate, not knowing what to do for the best. It’s times like this that I feel at my most useless. ‘I’ll be up soon. I’m feeling quite tired, so if you want anything please yell and I’ll bring it up.’
She pauses on the third stair and turns as a soft smile spreads across her face. ‘What I’d love is for you to relax and do your own thing. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow finding you staring at me like a serial killer again.’
‘But—’
‘No buts. I’ll see you in the morning.’
I can’t help but smile as she climbs the stairs with Dick in tow.Serial killer, the absolute cheek. As she disappears out of view, I consider her words carefully.Do your own thing.If only she realised what a loaded statement that was. I pull my phone from my pocket and glance at the messages from Beth. I’ve been stewing over them for hours now, but because I was with Lauren, I couldn’t dedicate the time to an appropriate response. Does she really think that rejecting my offer of legal counsel is even an option? From where I’m standing, she has little choice. I pace back and forth in the kitchen as I type reply after reply, but everything I say sounds patronising or condescending, a million miles away from the person I’m trying to be right now. I force my phone into my back pocket and grab my jacket from the hall, then pause and glance up the stairs. I can’t just leave without saying anything. I take the stairs two at a time and hurry along the landing. I stop dead in my tracks when I come face to face with Lauren and Dick completely sparked out on the bed. As I brush the shock of dark hair back from her face, I place a light kiss on her forehead. Maybe tonight, I can do my own thing.
I’m plunged into darkness as I head out on to the lane, but without Dick for company at least I’ll get there relatively unscathed. My heart begins to pound as I pick up my pace, then as I see the lights from Beth’s cottage up ahead, I find my feet slow. She’s never receptive when I show up unannounced and after leaving her without a reply all day, I can’t imagine her mood will be pleasant. But I have to make her see sense; I need her to understand that this is her best chance. That I’m her best chance.
ChapterNine
Beth
Nothing. Not a single reply to either message.
I know better than to chase a man. He isn’t getting another message out of me, that’s for certain. I take the final gulp of wine from my glass, fumbling at my phone, checking my messages one more time. Perhaps it’s the signal, it’s pretty poor around here after all. With my empty wine glass in one hand and my phone in the other, I grapple for the door latch. Thrusting my phone out into the darkness, I stop against a six-foot wall of muscle that I would recognise anywhere.
‘Signal problems?’
We both glance at my screen, and if it wasn’t so dark out here, he would be sure to see the embarrassment all over my face.
‘No. What are you doing here?’ I smooth out my clothes in an attempt to appear less flustered.
He follows me closely back into the cottage, allowing the door to click quietly behind him. I hastily pour myself another glass of wine and gesture the bottle towards him.
‘Please.’ He nods in agreement.
Holding the glass towards him at arm’s length, he pushes off from the tiled kitchen wall where he’s been leaning, watching me intently. It was me up against that wall yesterday. Pinned there by that body. Being kissed by that mouth.
