Page 88 of Malice and Surrender
“When you say it like that, it sounds really bad,” I said.
Avro stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. Jace looked like he was getting ready to have a meltdown. His silver eyes bored holes into mine.
“Raine, that’s because it is bad. I mean, who does that to someone who was once a friend? And you said he was in prison. Do you even know what he’s been doing or has done? Could he be putting us all at risk?”
“I’d never let that happen,” I said.
“How can you be so sure?” Jace asked, his eyes narrowing.
I swallowed hard. “Because I tracked him down and spoke to him first thing yesterday morning.”
“That’s where you were coming from? You went to go visit your rapist alone?” Avro asked, then shook his head and walked over to the bar. He poured himself a drink and chugged it back. My heart pounded harder at the thought of them wanting to end things. It would be exactly what I deserved.
“Yes, I needed to speak with him for a couple of reasons, and to make sure he was clean was one of them.” Avro rubbed at his eyes as Jace paced the floor. “Guys, I need you to understand that I deserved it.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Both of them whipped around to face me so fast that I wished I hadn’t opened my mouth at all.
“Don’t fucking say that,” Jace growled. “No one deserves that. We’re calling the cops,” he said, taking out his phone.
Panic gripped my throat, and I pushed away from the wall. “No. No cops.”
“What do you mean, no cops? He fucking assaulted you. Have you seen yourself? Go look in a mirror. You look like you were used as a human punching bag,” Jace fumed and unlocked his phone.
I walked over and grabbed the phone out of his hand, glaring at Jace.
“I said no, Jace. This is my life, and if you do call, I’ll deny everything,” I said, then held the phone out to him. As he took his phone back, I realized he was shaking. “Just listen to me. I put him in prison. I did that. He did nothing wrong and was sent to a place with terrible people for ten years.” I put a hand on my chest. “I named him and swore up and down that it was him. We were foster kids with no real family for help. He’d just turned eighteen and ended up spending all that time behind bars with only my face to blame. The one face he trusted most.”
“That still doesn’t give him the right to do what he did,” Jace argued.
I could see Avro moving closer like he was worried Jace was going to Hulk out.
“You’re right, it was an asshole thing to do, and I’m not denying that, but I also get it. I was his best friend, and he was mine, and I never even spoke to him after the attack to find out for sure that it was him. I was fifteen, scared, and felt betrayed. Between my foster father and the police, I felt pressured into naming him, so I did. What would you be like if Avro sent you to prison for doing something you never did?”
They looked at one another, and the anger in the room simmered down but only slightly.
“Fine, I can concede that maybe I’d be pissed. I can’t say I would do what your ‘friend’ did, but I can at least say I’d be angry.”
“Try furious. Your singing career—gone. Your name—tarnished and forever with the label of rapist of a minor hanging around your neck. I’m sure that you would’ve spent all that time fighting not to be assaulted in prison. Avro would become the object of all that rage. I was the object of all his rage.” Jace still didn’t look convinced. “This doesn’t mean I forgive him. I’m just saying I understand his side.”
I reached out to touch Jace, but he pulled his hands away as my fingers touched his. Turning around, he walked to the far side of the room like he needed space from me, and it hurt. I didn’t think it would, with us barely knowing one another, but the sting was there.
Avro touched my shoulder, and I looked up into his eyes. “Tell me, how is it that after all this time, you’re so certain it wasn’t him?”
I nibbled my lip. “When he was….” I stopped, trying to frame my words, so they didn’t sound any worse.
“Fucking you,” Jace said from his spot, his eyes flashing with anger.
It was way too hot in here, and not for a good reason. My body temperature was going through the roof.
“Yes. When he was fucking me, he held me in a similar position, and I realized that the tattoo I’d seen on my attacker’s hand was on the other hand. I also realized that the guy felt like a man, had man hands.” Avro arched a brow at me. “I mean, when I was attacked, I realized it was all men, but as I said, my friend was eighteen, and I knew what his body looked like and felt like. From hugs and stuff, and it was no eighteen-year-old who had me. There were three of them, and I was scared with a cloth bag on my head, so I wasn’t paying attention to details like that. The tattoo was all I could see well. It was what I remembered.”
“And you’re one hundred percent positive it was on the other hand,” Avro asked.
“Yes, I’m more than a hundred percent positive. The memory of it is burned into my brain.”
“I still don’t like this. He should be punished for what he did, and how do we know he won’t try it again?” Jace argued and shook his head.
Avro answered before I could. “None of us are innocent. We need to remember that.”
