Page 89 of Malice and Surrender
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“That is a story for another time. Jace does make an excellent point, though. How do we know he’s not going to keep coming back?”
“We don’t, but I don’t think he will. When I saw him this morning, he wanted me to leave him alone.” I walked over to the couch and flopped down, suddenly exhausted.
“How did you find him? I’m sure he didn’t leave behind a business card,” Jace said, the sarcasm dripping from every word.
“Jace, I don’t need your attitude. I spent most of my life since that moment living like a terrified hermit. Do you think I don’t see that attack like it happened yesterday when I close my eyes? You think I can’t feel their hands on my skin or the sharp blade piercing my skin? You think I don’t still feel helpless all the damn time?” My anger was stirring, and I clutched my hands into fists on my knees. “It happened to me, not you. And you’re not the one who thought for eleven years that your best friend turned on you, only to find out that you fucked up and sent the wrong person to prison. So now not just two of my attackers have been walking around free all this time, all of them have.”
I stared at my hands and the faint scars lining my wrists, remembering the white zip ties cutting in and making me bleed. The way the blood ran down my arms.
“They’ve been dancing all this time, thinking they got away with what they did while my friend rotted in a cell. This is my pain and my cross to bear, and it is also my body and my choice. So, no cops, not ever. If you want me to stay in this relationship with you, no one can ever know what happened.”
He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at the ground. I took it as a small victory that he didn’t continue to argue.
“As for finding him…he happens to be part of one of the largest motorcycle clubs in the area. It was easy to hunt him down.”
Jace threw his hands in the air.
“Oh, this just keeps getting better and better.”
He stomped out of the room, and I heard his heavy footfalls on the stairs. I slumped into the couch as the defeated feeling washed over me. My head hurt. The headache that had threatened all day now took hold as the rest of my muscles screamed from everything that had happened.
Avro refilled his drink and wandered over to sit down beside me. He held the glass out for me to take some. It was probably the last thing I needed, but I sipped some of the concoction, anyway.
“Hmm, this one is different. I’m going to say crème de menthe, Kahlua, and coffee mixed with chocolate,” I said and then peeked at the counter to see the chocolate milk sitting out. “Not bad.”
Avro smirked and took his drink back. “Jace wants to protect everything, and the more he cares, the angrier he becomes. When I told him about my attack, I knew he’d lose his mind and want to protect me. It’s who he is. He just needs a minute to calm down.”
He picked up my hand and linked our fingers together. I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Does that mean you’re not planning on tossing me out the door?”
“Are you crazy?” Avro tightened his grip on my hand and brought it to his lips. The fear I had bottled up inside my chest let go, and I whimpered, letting the tears fall.
“Shh, it’s okay.” He kissed my forehead, but that only made the crying worse. I didn’t deserve his kindness. Chaos loved me, and I was worried that I would only ruin what they had built.
“I know you think I should turn him in, but I can’t, not this time. I understand him. I always have. It’s like how you and I became friends, that instant connection, and now we finish each other’s sentences. I had that with him. I knew him. I knew his heart and his soul, and I never spoke to him, never gave him a chance.” I covered my mouth as a sob wracked my body. “I did the same thing everyone else did when they looked at him. I thought the worst. That ache will stay with me forever, and I can’t add him going back to prison to the list. The weight of that happening will crush my soul,” I said.
“So you still care for him that much?” Avro asked, his voice soft and soothing.
I loved how warm he was. It was like I could curl up in his lap and go to sleep, and he’d make me feel better no matter what was wrong.
“Yeah, I do. I know I shouldn’t, and it’s stupid, but I do. I saw genuine hurt under the anger. No matter what he did, I can’t turn him in.”
We sat quietly for a long time before Avro sighed and stood, bringing me to my feet with him. “Then we will respect your wishes. But, Raine, he can’t hurt you like that again. Forget Jace. I’ll hunt him down and kill him first.”
There was something oddly calming about that statement, and I wrapped my arms around Avro’s waist and held on tight.
Raine
As we neared the bottom of the stairs, I heard a piano. We silently climbed up the stairs, the music getting progressively louder with each step. Jace was amazing. I didn’t even know he could play an instrument. I’d only ever seen him sing in the glimpses I got of him on television or even the nights at the bar.
Avro led me toward the music and the door that had been closed on my tour. The haunting sound stirred a complex blend of emotions whipping around inside of me. We didn’t go in but stood in the hall listening as Jace’s fingers flew over the keys. He looked like he was in some otherworldly movie. His back was to us. The piano in the middle of the room faced the ocean on the other side of the dark, tinted glass. The lights were dimmed and had a fake flame effect that flickered off all the silver in the room, including the piano. It glittered like a silver lake as the flames danced over the shiny surface. The man at the keys was just as captivating.
Jace wasn’t wearing a shirt, and the tattoos that stretched the width of his shoulders stood out in the low light. I hadn’t paid much attention to them until now, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t stop staring.
“I think the two of you need to spend some time together alone,” Avro whispered in my ear. “He only plays this song when he’s stressing over something.” His soft voice was as intoxicating as the music, and I felt like swaying.
“I don’t think he wants to see me right now,” I whispered back, and Avro gave me a smile that warmed me to my toes. My eyes were drawn to his amber depths that always seemed to sparkle even in the dim light, like the mischief glowed from inside of him.
