Page 22 of Malice and Surrender
“Because we’re friends,” I finally managed to get out. “And this is our place of work.” I licked my lips. “And what if this ruins…”
Avro stood, and whatever argument I had died on my tongue. Avro didn’t hesitate and dropped his lips to mine. Just like the first time, a warmth burned bright in my gut as our lips moved in sync. He made me feel like I was floating in warm water while eating a rich chocolate cake.
“Come over tonight. We won’t do anything you don’t want to,” he said, breaking the kiss.
My head was light, and my lips tingled.
“I…I…I don’t know,” I said, moaning as he softly kissed the side of my neck, spiking my pulse.
“Spend more time with me. You know me, Raine, and at some point, you need to stop being terrified that everything will turn into whatever horror movie you have playing in your mind. I’d never hurt you, and I’d never let anyone else hurt you.” I shivered and grabbed hold of the statement that hit too close to home. “But I’m done pretending that all I want is to be friends,” he whispered, and I shivered. “I’ve wanted to be more than friends for a very long time.”
“Who said I think everyone is a horror movie waiting to happen?” My eyes fluttered closed as he trailed his lips along the side of my neck.
“Because right now, it’s written all over your face. And because, at one time, you would move away from me if you felt I was too close. You kept your eyes on me no matter what we were doing and refused to have me at your back. You always carried a box cutter, even when we had no boxes to open. Every move I made, you reacted as if I was going to beat you,” Avro said softly.
I hated that he saw that part of me. I thought I did a good job hiding it from the world. In my mind, I was still that scared version of myself, screaming wildly and saying no. Every man was potentially one of my attackers, and any moment alone with a guy, no matter who it was or where it was, had a hidden agenda. It was the part of my brain I was trying to learn to control rather than have it control me.
“Okay, I’ll come over.”
I could feel his grin against my neck. “Oh, you naughty boss you, pulling me into your office to proposition me,” he teased as he stood up straight.
The door opened just then, and the office filled with Jace’s voice and cheering people as he sang another song.
“Sorry, am I interrupting?” Mr. Allen Lawrence, Jace’s agent, asked. I rolled my eyes up at Avro before plastering a smile on my face. I stepped around Avro as we turned to face the man I wanted to choke.
“May I speak to you alone, Ms. Eastman? I have a few things I’d like to go over,” Allen said.
“Of course, Mr. Lawrence, come on in,” I said, happy that I could pull off the professional attitude. I held up my finger as he stepped forward. “But next time, wait until I say you can enter before opening my door. Just a professional courtesy, I’m sure you understand.”
Avro lifted an eyebrow that only I could see, but I knew he was impressed. So was I.
“I’ll go help with the bar again,” Avro said, giving me a wink that was both sexy and calming.
Had I been blind to his affection all this time? He was always funny and flirtatious, but he’d dated so many people that I lost count after ten. Was he trying to make me another one of his numbers? I kicked myself mentally and shoved away the nagging doubt that no one would want me unless it were to hurt me. That was the kind of mentality that had made me scared to leave the house, and I was never going back to that person ever again.
“All right, Mr. Lawrence, what can I help you with?”
Kaivan
The ride back to the clubhouse was quiet. No matter what Roach asked, I didn’t dare speak, or I might’ve leaped across the console and killed him simply for being there. We pulled into the Lost Souls parking lot, where I kept my bikes even when I was at home. I didn’t even wait for the truck to come to a full stop before I hopped out and stomped to my bike. Roach didn’t try to stop me. He knew me well enough to know that someone was going to die, and he didn’t want to end up on my list.
I was going back to that bar and waiting as long as it took to see Raine and follow her home.
The image of my hands on Raine and her screaming as she fought me was so vivid that my step faltered mid-stride. Oh, the evil she conjured in my mind. The old darkness that filled me and kept me going night after night in the pen was once more taking over.
Mannix used to say I looked possessed when I got this angry, and he wasn’t far off the mark. It felt like that, too. Like the world was narrowing in, and all I saw was red. He also told me that I needed to harness it, or I would end up back behind bars before I was even released. He hadn’t been wrong about that, either. For the most part, I was able to, but there were just some times in life when you tossed all that control aside and simply did what felt right.
“Hey!” a voice called as I reached my bike. I was so consumed that I hadn’t noticed that anyone else was out here with me. “Over here,” the gravelly voice came again, and I looked over to see Wilder’s version of the swamp monster hanging onto the chain-link fence. He blended with the chaotic background so well that I would never have noticed him.
He was always dressed up in the strangest outfits. This time he was coated in mud, a blanket of grass and water dripping from his body. Had he been lying in the water with the gators? If he was, the guy was crazier than I thought, or one hell of an animal whisperer.
I didn’t have time for whatever he wanted, but considering Wilder rarely spoke—and he could probably sneak down my chimney or find a way inside my walls—it was better that I played along rather than ignore him. There was no telling what the hell this guy would do.
I walked over to the fence and stuffed my hands in my pockets. “Hey, man,” I said. “What’s up?”
“You need help killing whoever you’re going after? I have skills that are itching to be used,” Wilder said.
“I’m sure you do, but no, not this time.” I stared at the long pieces of seaweed tied to the getup. “Can I ask why you’re dressed like the swamp monster?”
