Page 72 of Malice and Surrender
If Kai wanted to remain a gang member, he could. If he wanted to move away and start a business without his past hanging over him, he could do that too. Heck, he could go back to school if it was what he wanted. At least the choice would be his again. I couldn’t erase the past, but I could at least make sure that people didn’t judge him for something he’d never done.
My mind was busy making notes of everything I needed to get done today, including a new screen for my phone since mine cracked in the fight last night. I was so engrossed that I didn’t notice the black car and the man leaning against it until it was too late to turn around.
A warmth spread throughout my body at the sight of Avro, and I suddenly wished I wore a turtleneck even though it was eighty-five outside. I hadn’t even begun to contemplate how to explain Kai or the attack to Avro and Jace, or if I should just keep my mouth shut. Shit…
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I smiled as I turned, so the bruised side of my neck was away from him.
Avro didn’t answer. He just reached out and grabbed me, pulling me into a hug. Why I wanted to cry suddenly was beyond me, but as I wrapped my arms around him and took in the sweet comfort he offered, I could feel the tears prick at the back of my eyes.
He kissed the top of my head and didn’t say anything for a long time. “Why didn’t you answer my calls last night? I was worried when I couldn’t reach you,” he said.
“Yesterday was very strange, and I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I forced the words past my constricted airway. I could feel where Kai choked me as if he was still gripping my throat. “Did Jace get away okay?”
“No, he’s here for a couple more days. Not that I’m complaining. The next two concerts couldn’t be rescheduled, so the rest of the band left for San Francisco. He didn’t have to leave yet and opted to stay and spend more time with us.”
I held him a little tighter. Avro was like bathing in a warm, sensual bath of muscle. I opened my mouth to tell him about last night, but I just couldn’t. The words wouldn’t form. How did you say, ‘I was raped again, but it was okay this time because I felt like I deserved it?’
The next issue was that I didn’t know how to hide the bruises all over my body or spend time with them and not stay the night. My life had suddenly gotten much more complicated in the blink of an eye.
“That’s great,” I said, unsure what else to say.
“You heading into work?” Avro asked. “I noticed that the inventory isn’t done. I stopped there on my way here to find you.”
Stepping back, I rubbed at my face. “Yeah, I’ll have to go in. I spent most of yesterday chasing a stray cat all around the bar. It broke a bunch of full bottles, and I got scratched and had to go to the hospital. It was a really weird ass day.”
“Okay, let’s go. I’ll help you. Jace is busy working out the melody to the new song he wrote, and when he’s in that headspace, you don’t go near him. Not unless you want your head bit off.” Avro winked. “I still like to entice him from time to time, just to make sure my ability to corrupt is still aces.”
“I’m pretty sure he always has a hard time saying no to you.” I smiled back and vividly remembered how sexy the two men were together.
“Let’s just say it is one challenge I thoroughly enjoy winning, and I have a feeling that you will find it just as entertaining.” The sexy look that lifted the corners of his mouth made me blush.
I cleared my throat. “I’m sure you’re right. I guess we better go. Too much to do and not enough hours.”
I wasn’t sure this was a great idea, but I couldn’t think of a single excuse he would actually believe. I got in the passenger seat, and while he walked around the car, I bunched my hood a little more around my neck.
Avro slipped into the driver’s seat and looked over at me. “You sure you’re okay? You seem…distant. Not your normal self.”
“I’m fine.”
“Which is code for you’re really not. Did you decide that Jace and I aren’t what you want? If you’re not interested, then please tell me.” He looked down at our hands as I linked our fingers together.
“No, it’s nothing like that. I’m more committed than ever to a relationship with you both. I didn’t sleep well. I never have during storms,” I said, and he squeezed my hand before lifting it to look at my knuckles.
“How did you bruise all of your knuckles? And your hand seems a swollen.”
I swallowed hard. Why did he have to be so observant? “The cat. I tripped and fell, then cracked my hand off the bar multiple times while trying to catch him. The power flickered at one point, and I walked into a wall,” I said. It wasn’t a complete lie. Those things sorta happened but didn’t cause the marks on my body.
Holy shit, how many other lies would I have to tell to cover up what happened? This felt so familiar. The night of my attack, I started making excuses for why I was in that dangerous area. I said I was meeting a friend, but the lies quickly unraveled the more I was questioned. The problem was, I didn’t even know what the hell the truth was anymore. Kai asked a question I’d never analyzed too much, but now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Who found me? How long was it before the ambulance arrived? I had snippets after I was stabbed, but not much. It was mostly a blur or nothing at all.
Had some homeless person wandered in because the door was open? Had the door been left open? I briefly remembered keys. Had one of my attackers worked there? My heart began to pound hard as little things that had never occurred to me before as significant were suddenly a lot more important. All this time, the three men who’d attacked me were still out there and never got punished. I hated to think about what they were doing out there, what they could’ve done to someone else. Maybe I’d passed them in the grocery store and never knew.
I shivered and cuddled into my sweatshirt as if it would help. Now more than ever, I couldn’t help wondering why me? Was I a random choice, or had they set out for someone else, and I’d run into their trap? Was my attack meant for another girl? If so, then who?
As Avro drove, I watched everyone we passed and felt so detached, like I no longer belonged in this world. A woman jogged with her dog by her side and pushed one of those running strollers. People played frisbee on the beach while others drove by wearing suits in fancy sports cars. So many lives and variations, and not one of them worried about a girl left for dead in a building years ago. Not one of them cared that I was driving by now, watching them, and wondering if they were the person who’d attacked me. None of them knew that I sat here wishing I could’ve had a normal childhood, but when you watched your parents die, nothing is normal after that. It was an omen that followed me with its taint ever since.
“I watched my parents die,” I blurted out into the silent car. I didn’t look at Avro, but I could feel his eyes on my face.
“What?”
