Page 136 of Malice and Surrender
Before he even answered, I knew what words would come out of his mouth and pulled my gun.
“Go fuck yourself,” he said and spat at my feet.
The gun was up and pressed into his forehead before my mind registered what my hand was doing. I glared into his terrified eyes that suddenly didn’t look so smug.
“Do I look like someone you want to fuck with?” My voice dropped low as I growled the words. He shook his head slightly. The cigarette, long forgotten, was now dangling from his lips. “So, I’m going to ask you again, and I expect a different answer. Hey buddy, do you have a smoke I can bum?”
His hand shook as he pulled out the pack from inside his jacket, and I plucked it from his fingers. “Wow, thanks man. You’re too nice,” I drawled as I put the pack in my back pocket. Snatching the one from his mouth, I tossed it on the ground and stepped on it, crushing it so I didn’t do the same to his face.
The guy’s chest heaved as I lowered the gun, and he took a deep breath. “So generous of you to give me your whole pack,” I drawled as I tapped the gun against my leg. His eyes followed the movement like a scared rat. “It’s a nice day for a walk, you say? You want to get more smokes? What a fabulous fucking idea. Run along then,” I said and watched as he slowly turned and walked away so fast he looked like he was in one of those weird walking races. He had decent form with his straight back and tight ass. Okay, it was official. I’d completely lost my mind.
Pulling out the pack of smokes, I lit one up and took the first sweet pull. Did Raine still hate that I smoke? Why the fuck did I care? Was this my new reality? Wondering what Raine liked and didn’t like every time I did something. Who was I kidding? It was always my reality. I just couldn’t admit it until now.
Shaking my head, I wandered back to the room and leaned against the wall outside, clearly able to hear them through the shitty door.
“No fucking way! I’m laying the law down right now. We are not getting into a relationship with that psychopath,” Jace yelled. “The pair of you have lost your fucking minds.”
“He’s actually not a psychopath because he has emotions, and a lot of them, including regret,” Avro said and the room went silent. I smirked as I pictured the look on Jace’s face. Okay, I was man enough to admit this was entertaining shit. At least it wasn’t just my nerves that Avro got on. I could picture him swinging off Jace’s last nerve right now.
“I don’t need you to be the Webster dictionary to know that man is unstable as fuck. By his own admission, he has thought about killing you and feeding you to alligators. He could decide today he is okay with this and tomorrow that he wants the two of us dead and do it.” Again very accurate of Jace. Apparently, there was more to him than singing.
“He won’t,” Raine piped in.
“Oh yeah, and how can you be so sure about that? Let’s not forget he’s attacked you, raped you, and almost shot you the other night. Not exactly an outstanding track record,” Jace growled.
I sucked in another drag of the smoke and hated Jace a little more for calling out all the shit I’d done to Raine in a very short time. I rubbed my eyes. He wasn’t wrong. I was angry and had never stopped to think that she might actually believe I was the guy.
“I know because he made me a promise,” Raine said, surprisingly calm. I loved the sound of her voice. She used to hum all the time, and I would sneak closer to whatever room she was in to listen. From the first moment we met, she calmed the storm of toxic waste that was my soul.
“A promise? That doesn’t sound like much of a reassurance, no offense.”
“Jace, I know you hardly know me, and the only thing you know of Kai is the anger and violence, but…he is to me who Avro is to you. I know Kai inside out. I never should let myself think for even a moment that it was Kai that hurt me all those years ago.” Her voice was getting louder and I knew she was close to the door. “We have a complicated and sordid past that binds us in a way I can’t explain, but I know his heart. Any doubt I had left about my attack is gone. I love him.” I rubbed at the spot that had ached for Raine for so long. Hearing her talk about me like I was worth something made me warm all over. I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve her, but I couldn’t walk away.
“Fuck, Raine. I get that. I do, but…shit, this is so dangerous.”
“Maybe, and I’m not going to force the two of you to be in a relationship with Kai if you don’t want to be. It’s what I’ve asked for from him and now from the two of you, and I will hold true to my choice. It’s either all of you, or it’s none of you. I’m not going back to live a half-life, and I’m not going to be forced to choose between one side of my heart an the other.”
I wasn’t sure what was worse at this point. Jace not agreeing and Raine taking off again, never seeing her again, or was it worse for him to agree? Forcing me to try and accept them. I felt physically torn, but I shocked myself when I realized I was rooting for him to say yes.
“You know what happened to my family,” he said, his voice softer, and I perked up. For some reason, I suddenly wanted to know what had happened to his family. I pulled out my phone and began an internet search for his name.
“I know, and what happened to them was tragic, but Kai is not your stepfather. His heart is battered and bruised, but under that, he is still the man I remember, and his word is as solid as any contract.” My lip curled up. “I can assure you that if Kai makes a promise, he will never break it unless you force him to. Despite what he did to me, he has honor in his soul.”
Fuck, why did she have to make me sound like I was a decent human? I wasn’t, not anymore. The part of me that had been decent died in prison, yet the emotion she evoked clogged my throat. I flicked the forgotten smoke down on the ground.
“Avro, what do you want,” Jace asked, his voice sounding exasperated.
“You know that I want you and Raine in my life. I love you both, and if Raine loves Kai and wants him in her life, then I trust her judgment.”
I heard a loud sigh and almost felt the frustration coming through the door. “Fuck! Fine, I’ll try if he will, but I want it to be known right now that I don’t like it. I don’t trust him.” Jace bit out, and I chuckled at the disdain in his tone.
You and me both, Jace Everly.
Kaivan
Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any stranger, I ended up in a three-way argument over who would drive Raine home. Yup, in one night, I’d entered pathetic whipped boyfriend status. The three of us didn’t even notice when Raine left the room. She grabbed her shit and walked across the street for breakfast at the waffle place while we waved our cocks around in a metaphorical fight.
We all looked pretty fucking stupid as we searched the room and the parking lot like she was a kidnapped child. Not my finest moment.
