Page 64 of The Spare
That should have been my first clue.
My parents knew of my love for those types of things, but now I realized it probably wasn’t them. I never thought about it and never questioned any of the gifts my parents gave me; they never remembered what they got me anyway.
Butthatgift. It was from Marcus. It had to be.
My mind reeled.All this time?I could feel the emotion over the realization taking control, and I needed to know more.
My hands trembled violently when I reached for my phone. I called Xander for the first time since he left.
“I’m hoping this is good news.” His cheerful voice only made the truth more repelling.
I exhaled deeply. “Xan.”
“Fuck. Well, I already know everything. Unless something new happened in the last four days?”
“No.”
“If he wasn’t my only remaining family, I’d have kicked his ass.” When he left on Sunday, I suspected he might stop and see Marcus. I guess he did.
“I’m your family,” I reminded him. He was thousands of miles away, but I knew he smiled when I said it.
I tried to maintain some level of composure when I went through the heartache of the week. Xander listened quietly.
“What do I do?” I asked him when I finished explaining the entire mess.
“What do you want?” Xander asked. “And please, the PG version.”
“I want him.” I went over it in my head a thousand times. Each time, I wanted him despite the risks. It felt like something real, something rare.
Xander laughed on the other end of the line. “Yeah, I figured. Look, I’m not going to tell you everything he told me because I’m not getting in the middle. But he wants to fix it.”
My heart fluttered. “He does?”
It was wonderful and terrifying. What scared me the most was how much I wanted to let him fix it. If he wanted to break my heart, I would probably let him.
“You two are exhausting,” he groaned. “Yes, he does. Before you get all hot and bothered, just take a beat and make sure it’s what you want too.”
It is.
“Okay.” I paused for a second and glanced at my copy of Don Quixote. “How long has he had feelings for—”
“I’m not answering that.”
“Xan.”
“Askhim. He’ll tell you.”
I sighed deeply. “The Old Baxter Sessions papers that I got as a gift on my birthday. Do you know where they came from?”
“The what?”
I laughed. “Nothing. I’m sorry you’re in the middle of this.”
“It’s okay, better me than Penelope.”
“Thank you, Xan. You’re always looking out for me.” My voice hitched.
I could feel the tears welling in my eyes again. Xander was being Xander. Then there was the realization that Marcus may have been harboring feelings for years. And finally, the hope that we could be together. All of it was too much.
