Page 63 of The Spare
“What?” Genuine confusion plagued me all day. My head was pounding from the stress of what had happened and the lack of sleep. Sloan was incredibly intelligent; she knew the risks of starting something as well as I did.
“Sloan has spent her entire life in second place. With the company, hell, even half her family treats her like she doesn’t exist. She is never good enough for any world she’s in, always consumed with not being accepted. If she’s going to put aside her overwhelming fear of rejection, it’ll be for someone who puts her first. And you just put her dead last.”
Fuck. “That’s not how I meant it.” I racked a tired hand through my hair.
“Well, I’m sure that's how she heard it,” he said with a heavy sigh. “As for the relationship. You need to figure out if you want anactualrelationship with her. One where she comes ahead of work and everyone else for good. Because if it's anything short of that, it's not worth it, and it's better that you guys stop it now.”
“You don’t have a problem with us being together?” I asked.
“If I had a problem with it, I wouldn’t be here. I would’ve let you fuck it up.” He smiled. “Of course, I’m fine with it.”
“Henry’s gonna—"
“He’ll get over it,” Xander interrupted. “Don’t be the guy to validate his concerns. If this is actually endgame, that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
“Right.”
He grinned. “Go get her.”
CHAPTER32
Sloan
Ihad drinks with Jay after work today.
It was childish of me to have texted him when I was upset; I knew that. I wanted to feel better and less rejected, and I knew one surefire way to do that. Xander’s words taunted me when I did it.
“All I’m saying is you being hard up and then seeing someone like Jay is a recipe for sex.”
At first, I thought it would remedy my terrible mood. The best way to get over someone was to get under someone else...or something like that. But now, four days after the kiss, being out with Jay did little to lift my spirits. All I wanted to do was go home. Alone.
He was great company, though—the same devilishly charming man he’d been in college. But he wasn’t the company I wanted. Over drinks, he invited me to a party in celebration of Holi in a few weeks, as friends. I loved the holiday, so I was tempted to go.
Maybe it would get my mind off Marcus and having to pretend I was okay with going back to the way things were.
I made it all the way home before collapsing into tears. It was a mixture of anger, the hell of the past weekend, and missing Xander. We hadn’t spoken since he left.
The entire past week was spent trying to wrap my mind around the steps forward. The last few months felt like a dream, and now it was time to wake up. I had to figure out a way to get on board with Marcus’s request, and it was torture.
He’d called and texted all week, asking to talk. I knew it was to figure it out and pretend it didn’t happen. I needed time to at least act like I was okay with it.
I decided to settle in with wine for the night.
I walked to the living room, bottle in hand, and dropped onto the couch. The box holding the copy of Don Quixote that Marcus bought me sat on the coffee table. It was wooden and lined with silky fabric to protect the old book. The box looked familiar...and then I realized something.
My heart rate ticked up.
The bottle of wine made a loud thud when I placed it on the coffee table and picked up the box instead.
I inspected it, and then flipped it over. The engraved logo at the bottom of the box was branding from a rare book dealer. Goosebumps swept down my arms. I’d seen that exact logo before.
It was on a box containing the first edition print of a group of excerpts fromThe Old Baxter Sessions.The original publication was in a museum. A small batch of first editions were in circulation, but incredibly rare. I owned a set. It was a gift from my parents on my last birthday.
Or so I thought. I never actually asked them about it.
When it arrived at my place by courier, it didn’t have a note. They often sent gifts without a card to Henry and me, so I assumed it was them.
Old Baxter was the central prison in Boston. The Old Baxter Sessions papers documented the criminal proceedings between the 1600s through the 1800s. They were fascinating.
