Page 23 of The Final Storm
I jerk free of his hand, frantic to find the woman, and crash into another man.
Strong arms encase me and stop my fall. “Rowan. What’s going on?” Sam holds me, but I look past him, trying to find her. He shakes me once, and I snap my gaze to his face. His sunken eyes bore into mine. A week of stubble covers his jaw.
Didn’t I see him shaven last? When was that?
“What are you doing? You look… terrified.” He squeezes my arms, and I wiggle to spring free. It’s no use against his hold. A hot surge of panic rises in my gut as seconds pass without going after her.
“I saw someone. Someone I — I was just trying to find her.” I meant to tell Sam about the dream, but I avoided the subject. I specialize in deflecting from tough conversations, and Sam’s constant absence makes it easy.
“Who?” he clips, gripping me tighter. He clenches his jaw and presses me against the wall of the hallway.
I fidget in his grasp, still trying to slip free. “I-I really don’t know. I had this vision, and there was a woman. I thought I saw her just now. Please let me go. Lori’s in the medical unit talking with the boys. You can join in.”
Sam swallows hard and cocks his head to the side. “Who’s the woman? What was the vision, and why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
I throw my shoulders to one side, attempting to break free. I fail under Sam’s intense grip. “Let me go. Don’t talk to me like that.” I continue my struggle, feeling the pressure of his fingertips on my biceps so firm he might bruise the skin. “When would I tell you? You’ve been avoiding me since we got here.”
“I’m working,” he spits. “And I’m trying to alternate time with our daughter, so she isn’t alone in that plastic box.”
My fury over the last few weeks bubbles over. Lack of sleep lessens my ability to control all the harsh words I want to spit at him. “Bullshit,” I bite back. “Bullshit, you liar. You lied to me then, and you’re lying now. What did Caleb say to you on our first day here? What’s changed with us?”
Sam pulls us down the hall into a side room full of empty desks and chairs. “That again?” he protests, squinting his eyes, and kicks the door closed behind us. “So, is keeping something from me a lie, too? Like this vision about a woman. Are we both just a pair of liars, then?”
“So, youarekeeping something from me?“ I hiss. I hear myself, and I know I should stop. My words don’t feel like my own. Every fear and emotion is breaking all over him, and there’s no controlling what comes out.
Sam releases me and pinches his brow. I step forward, and he slams a hand on the wall, blocking my escape with his arm. His frustration comes off of him in waves, and I whimper, knowing it’s been too long, and she’s gone. I’ll never find her in this maze of a ship.
“You haven’t been sleeping,” he says. “You don’t eat-”
“Don’t turn this around on me. My vision didn’t keep me from my husband, if that’s even what you are.”
Fuck, Rowan. Stop.
But I don’t stop. The words keep falling out and slapping Sam in the face. “Seems to me like you’re someone else on this boat. Maybe your loyalty changes with your location. On land, you were Cecilia’s husband, mine on the Thalassa, and who the fuck do you want here?”
Sam’s pained expression tells me I’ve crossed a line. His eyes move to the floor while his fingers tremble at his sides. He swallows and steps backward, one foot separating us, and then another. I take a step forward, regretting what I said but unable to take it back. The words hang in the air between us, and I reach forward as if I could claw them back as he takes another step backward.
I don’t want to push Sam away. I need him at my side, in my bed, in my body. Each step he takes further from me feels like a bullet to the gut.
“What did Caleb say?” I beg. “Please. I’m not crazy. Something has changed.”
Sam stands too far away, and with each step I make toward him, he counters backward. His gaze moves to me with red eyes that I fear may spill tears. I’ve never seen him like this, even in our worst moments on the Thalassa.
“I would forgive you for anything. Do you know that?” he tells me. “There’s nothing you could do or say that I wouldn’t love you through.”
I nod, the space between us growing by the second. I open my mouth to speak, but he raises his palm to stop me, turns around, and leaves.
Chapter 9
Dreams
“Shefeltsoreal,”I tell Lori as she strokes my hair while I rest my head on her lap. Her rhythmic motion sends me into a trance, reminding me of how my sister would do this in our room so many years ago.
We’re in our cabin after a rush of people came into the medical unit and the nurses urged us to give them some space. I wasn’t any good for Luke and Morgan in my terrible mood, so I complied.
“In the vision, which you didn’t tell me about until now, or in the hall?” Lori jabs back.
“Both,” I admit. “She felt real both times.”
