Page 20 of The Final Storm
“No. Not until you calm down.”
“I’m not a child,” I spit.
“No, we have enough of those,” Sam mocks. He lifts his head to the ceiling, his Adam’s apple bobbing with a hard swallow. “It’s going to be a difficult few weeks. Luke’s bad, and they want me to work in engineering. Can you help us by keeping calm and not drawing attention to ourselves?”
“Weeks! And what about the men on the island? Why can’t you work there and see the boys?” I beg.
“Beggars can’t be choosers.” Sam grits his teeth. “I brought it up to Caleb, and he didn’t know what I was talking about. It’s likely a mission with clearance above all our heads. We shouldn’t bring that up to anyone else. Please, just calm down and keep it together.”
“Oh, how quickly you forget who dragged your ass out of that ditch. Now I’m some emotional female that can’t control myself?”
“You just said you go with Morgan or she doesn’t,” he deadpans.
I roll my eyes at his point. He’s right, and I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid saying something stupid. I’m emotional, making irrational decisions, and I wonder if that’s what I’m doing with Caleb. His reaction to me could mean anything or nothing, but my constant pestering won’t help us.
Sam notices my pause, realizing I’m warming to the idea, and he moves his arms behind my back and draws me tighter against him, kissing my throat. “You’re mine,” he breathes. His lips move towards my mouth, and he licks the crease of my lips until I open for him, letting him slide his tongue inside. His kisses, usually soft and loving, claim me. He pulls back for a breath of air. “And I’m yours,” he growls.
His words feel good but out of place, like his kiss. Our typical embraces feel comforting, filling my heart with adoration for the man I love. This kiss, desperate and pleading, doesn’t make up for our time apart. It’s rough and unfamiliar, deepening my worry that something is wrong.
Sam grips my shoulders and pushes me back against the wall. “We can’t yet.” His voice is strained, frustrated by the reality. He’s already hard against my stomach, the long outline of his cock lifting the fabric around his crotch.
“Presumptuous,” I bite back at him. “We won’t.”
He swallows and curls his fingers around my shoulders, his eyes narrowing. “I want you, Rowan. I’ll always want you. We’re in this together.”
I tilt my head and scoff, looking at the shut door between our rooms. For an instant, I consider unzipping his pants and letting his thick length spring free. I could drop to my knees and take his cock in my mouth - end this disagreement once and for all.
My hands twitch at my side, but I refuse to go back to old patterns, not when everything feels foreign.
The cold wall sends a shiver up my back, and I place my hands on his chest, pushing him away. His face relaxes, and he steps back. There’s an acceptance at this moment that we’re not fighting, but we’re not okay, either. Sex, as good as it feels with Sam, as much as I think my body might be able, won’t fix this.
I’m on edge, too distracted by my blurry thoughts and unclear visions. It’s this place. It feels so much the same as the Thalassa. The first time he kissed me inside the steel walls and familiar cabin where it all began. The first time he fucked me. I’ve never been averse to his touch, and I’m sickened by the thought. I’ve always wanted Sam. Every minute of every day, I look upon the man, ready to climb on top of him, but not today. Not like this.
“I love you,” I say. It’s the truth, even if there’s fear behind the words.
His hand cups my cheek, and he leans forward, asking permission to kiss me again. This time with a chaste kiss, soft lips brush mine for a moment, and he pulls back, running a thumb against my cheek.
“I love you, too. Please don’t forget that,” he begs. The words catch in his throat, and I nod. This place and this feeling are temporary. We can get through this.
He leaves with our daughter moments later, and I’m alone with my concerns. I’m afraid of losing him, and then I reject him. I drag my feet to the bed where Lori sleeps and climb inside, curling around my friend.
“No more slingshot,” she mumbles. Her dreamy ramblings make me smile, and I drift off, thinking of happier memories, hoping I can turn them into reality.
Chapter 8
Time
Timepassesinahaze, and Sam feels far away. It’s not just a feeling, it’s a physical fact. I rarely see him, and my heart aches with loneliness. He’s assigned to engineering, and I’m thrust back into the memories of us apart. No one’s keeping him from me, but the hours are long, and we’re taking shifts sleeping, trying to keep someone awake for Morgan and Luke.
When he’s around, things seem fine on the surface, but there’s an edge to our interactions. He shows love and affection, but his words hold something behind them, something that he keeps from me. I tell myself we’re tired, maybe a little scared. I tell myself everything will be fine, but I don’t dare say it out loud.
After a few days, we’re granted access to a radio that can reach the island. I call the boys twice a day. It makes me feel better to hear their voices, but they assign times for the calls, and I want to talk to them all the time, anytime I want. I can’t reach them if I have to, and after the first few times we talk, they already seem sick of me. They want to play with their friends, dig up worms, and perfect their aim with giant slingshots.
Gemma says men, military, linger on the island. The islanders sense people around, watching them. No one owns the land, so there isn’t anything that these visitors are doing wrong, but the islanders disagree. They want them gone, and I’m nervous about the interactions coming to a head. Gemma assures me things will be fine, but I almost think about asking Sam if I can go back. When I mention it to the boys, they tell me it’s not time. I trust their sight, and I let the subject die.
No new visions have surfaced since we boarded. Confused and feeling alone, I war with myself about how to fill my days. I’m losing my mind and spending my time loathing anyone and everyone in uniform, especially Caleb, who I know holds a key to something unsaid I desperately want to know.
Once they granted Lori and me access to the medical unit, I thought my restlessness would pass, but I was wrong. We’re miserable, constantly on edge from the unknown.
