Page 56 of Fae Unleashed
He’d told me himself that we could lose everything if the curse took ahold of my Seelie arcana and turned it Unseelie. There was no hiding what’d happened to me. I knew that when I took a stand in front of everyone, they would see right through me.
Rhoan called me a moon goddess. He’d said that every sun had to set, but I didn’t get why I couldn’t keep the warmth of it a little longer. The light of the moon was soft, but it wasn’t nourishing. I craved the kind of heat that penetrated my body and nourished it because I felt so empty.
I wrapped my arms around my knees and refused to stand. Rhoan got to his feet beside me and waited patiently. He acted like he had nothing else worth doing other than this. To him, time could move on indefinitely and it wouldn’t matter.
The crushing weight of all the expectations placed on me and the truth of just how badly I’d broken kept me on the ground. If only I could have wrapped myself in the earth and reemerged as new growth. Maybe then I would return to who I’d once been.
“I’m tired of others changing me.” The words slid out before I could even think to stop them.
If Rhoan’s story was right, Ostara had changed me first. She’d taken my memories so that I could live as a mortal child. Then Alvin had changed me with his cruel rule. Now, Beryl had taken this new-found power and turned it into something else. If everyone would stop trying to make me into something else, then I would be able to find my way forward.
Every time I paused, I got spun around. Dizzy from all the changes, I had no idea what to do next. Tal kept driving me forward, but I just wanted to stop and try to pull myself back together again.
I was empty, and I had no idea how to refill myself.
22
RHOAN
The castle foyer had never looked prettier. Proof of Cerri’s power was everywhere I looked. The deep red and green foliage stood out against the stark white stone walls. The flowers swayed in the breeze sliding through the open windows. I closed my eyes and savored the soft rustle of them.
Mostly, I savored the sound of Cerri beside me. She shifted nervously from one foot to the other. I cracked open an eye and tried to give her a reassuring smile. Tal had tried to stuff her into one of his ridiculous dresses once again. She’d eschewed them in favor of more mortal attire.
The wing-like tattoos peeked over her bare shoulders. The sweater dress made me feel like it might slip off her body at any moment, but the thing seemed determined to cling to her voluptuous frame, much to my surprise.
She wore heavy boots that scuffed the floor whenever she walked. I could see the trail she’d paced earlier. The little black lines exposed her anxiety even though she sucked in a breath and steadied herself.
Cerri held the breath a moment before exhaling and saying, “I’m not ready.”
I nearly burst out laughing. Tal gave me a look of warning before sidling up beside Cerri. He stood too close to her for my comfort. My laughter died as the beast in me rose to growl possessively.
“You can do this. Youhaveto.” Tal put emphasis on the necessity of the matter.
Cerri nearly crumpled. I shot Tal another pointed look. If the man didn’t let off, Cerri would crumble into a cloud of moths and flutter off never to be seen again.
My princess, so pale now, looked like a sliver of ivory against the red foliage behind her. When she came near, buds blossomed into grand flowers. The air smelled sweeter. Yet, she was too busy looking for a light in the dark to notice the beauty she’d made.
I couldn’t be that light, no matter how much I wanted. My beast had been crafted in the realm of nightmares. I was a thing of darkness, like the night ready to swallow her so that she knew only inky blackness.
What was I saying? When had I become such an eloquent bastard? Using big words kept me away from my true feelings and the danger that came with them whenever I looked to Cerri. The princess reached over and took my hand, bringing out another wave of wordy praise that I couldn’t speak into existence.
I never let go of her hand. Together, we walked out in front of everyone that had gathered for her. I moved to step away so that I could take my place beside Tal, but Cerri clung onto my hand. Standing beside her before everyone sent the wrong message. I couldn’t tell her that here and now.
Hell, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that at all. I savored this fantasy for a short while. I allowed myself to yearn for a day where I could legitimately stand beside Cerri as the king to her queen. It was a dream that would never come true, but there was no harm in allowing myself a moment to believe it could.
Cerri
I squeezedRhoan’s hand and looked back at Tal. He wasn’t going to like this. Tal had prepared a whole speech full of pleasing lies for me to give today. I didn’t have it in me to pretend like I was anything other than the person they saw before them.
Looking back at the gathering of fae in the foyer below, I rolled my shoulders back and prepared myself for the biggest scandal of the season. At least, that’s how I liked to think of it. This wasn’t betraying Tal’s trust…it was ascandal.
That sounded worse.
“I’ve asked you all to come here so that we could make a few things clear,” I began. My heart raced. I could hear nothing over the thunder of it in my ears. “My arcana has been afflicted by a curse placed upon me by Beryl.”
There was no way I would call herQueenBeryl. This was about sending a message. If I gave her a title here, then that meant that I recognized what she’d done to our court as legitimate.
“Many of you may not like what has become of my magic, but I say that of those who barely liked me to begin with. The reason I stand here is to tell you that I have not changed. Though my arcana is different, this curse can take nothing else from me.”
