Page 56 of The Gift
Some of what they wrote are their hard limits, others are simple wants: like Koda’s neatly written request that I sleep in his bed with him alone tonight after whatever happens, happens. Henley wants to watch everything, Ashton doesn’t want me to close my eyes, Reno wants to be tied up because he admits he’ll have trouble with one of my limits; no one can touch me with their hands unless I say so.
And there’s more: Koda doesn’t want anything in, or near, his butt; Henley wants Ashton to take him while I watch—and yeah, colour me surprised, I never even guessed that they were in a relationship together. But Koda and Reno admitted they didn’t either until they busted them in the kitchen one night. Henley also doesn’t want any toys allowed in the house for the next little while, and Reno wants to be able to step in, as the responsible beta, and do a blood test every eight hours before conducting an extra special examination using his ‘thermometer’. The joke’s getting old quick, but it’s the small, stupid shit that ties bonds.
“Speaking of blood tests, well not really at all. But I think now might be the time to talk about CJ.” I fill in the briefest of pauses in conversation, my eyes moving and staying on Henley the longest. He nods once, the lopsided grin tells me more.
For the past couple of hours, we’ve been talking and laughing over the incredible lasagne and salad Reno and I made. They’ve included me in their discussions, turning to ask me for my particular input on a sticking point; Henley and Ashton argue a lot. I haven’t felt like an outsider once, and the good vibes the A-team give off are energising. It’s that special kind of something I’m thinking I want more of.
There’s been a reason for living at an arm’s length. And I find myself a few times during the night wishing the rest of our community shared their views on omegas and packs, because I do feel safe with them. I suspect they’d do everything to protect me from the world, but my paranoia makes me question if it’s enough.
“Why do you call him CJ and not Colton?” Koda says, as his hands massage over my feet. Our plates lie finished on the table still, but no one is in a hurry, everyone simply enjoying being together. And the relaxed, happy mood isn’t too hard to see. The A-team are manspreading in their chairs, the laughs are loud and the looks between all of us are more than friendly. It’s more than nice.
“In a minute. First, everyone has to assure me he stays alive after what I say.” I lean back on my chair, making sure to include everyone. They all went a little alpha in the reactions.
“Henley lost his shit, but until we have a good reason, we generally wouldn’t off someone for the sake of it,” Reno says, leaning over the table, his hand out for mine. And without too much over analysing, my hand glides into his.
“Although, he did bruise you and scared the fuck out of you,” Ashton snaps. Henley placates him with a one-handed massage on his shoulder.
“He did. And he should know better,” I say, confirming the statement.
“You didn’t want him touching you, and he wasn’t listening.” He maintains eye contact with me before running his hands over his face, taking the time to think his words carefully before he speaks again. “But I can admit… I didn’t like seeing him touch you either.”
“I could tell. Did you share with everyone what you said?” I shrug, looking at each of them, mostly Henley though because he did mess up the most, kind of, not really.
“I did. I don’t believe in playing games.”
“How do you know him?” Ashton interrupts our stare off. Lucky too, because I’m looking at his lips like maybe he should kiss me, and he’s looking at mine like he very well might. Later. First we need closure here.
“I use him,” I reply, not mincing my words.
“A more detailed explanation is obviously coming?” Henley snaps suddenly, like he’s come out of a daze.
“Oh my god, would you wait, Henley? You’re so impatient sometimes. I hope they’ve pointed that out to you.”
“I am not impatient,” he bites back nearly as soon as I finish speaking, but the alpha of Pack Bailey is pursing his lips, a smile making them tug up a little. And his eyes drop purposely to my lips again, so I lick them suggestively in return.
I mumble a garbled response, raising my glass as a salute, and yeah, being petty, milking the situation. But he should have admitted to being impatient. When he bares his teeth at me, hissing, I flick my eyebrows up high, making him wait a little bit longer.
“You’re a tease,” he accuses, pointing a finger at me. “If I’m impatient, you’re a tease.”
“No, I’m definitely not a tease. Sometimes… maybe, but not generally. All jokes aside, I know CJ and have for a long time now. He kind of knows I’m an omega.”
“Excuse me?” Ashton splutters. “Jesus, Bailey.”
“What’s the problem?”
He shakes his head, shrugging and looking a little mystified that I’m asking what the problem is.
“I mean you know too, and supposedly have for a while. Maybe even longer than he knew. Anyway, are you saying I can’t trust CJ but I can trust you?”
“Why do you call him CJ?” Reno interrupts.
“It’s easier. I do honestly use him. Full disclosure, because I guess I’m laying out all my secrets tonight on the table, I’ve had sex with him a couple of times too. But… I never went anywhere near his knot.”
“How does that constitute using him,” Koda asks, dropping his hand to the top of my thigh to squeeze it encouragingly.
“At the end of the day, I couldn’t give him what he needed, which was more than a quick fuck. How sad, I couldn’t even do that.”
“That’s not using him, that’s being honest,” Ashton argues, the seriousness of our conversation making his light blue eyes change under the weight of the topic. I like them pale blue, like a summer’s day, and even without trying, I catch a snatch of his scent changing slightly.
