Page 33 of Frost Bitten
“So, I talked about this with my therapist this week. Because I needed to think about what you said, how it affects our relationship, and what effects it could have on my mental health.”
“Totally understandable,” he replies in a cool, calm voice. “Would you care to elaborate?”
“Not really,” I joke, huffing out a laugh. “But I will. I told my doctor about what you said, and then she asked about my concerns. She said that as long as I trust you with my safety, and you would listen if I asked you to stop… I should be able to try giving up control during sexual situations. She also said that, in certain situations, giving up control can be healing for those who experienced sexual assault as I did.”
“Ok, yeah, I have heard that. I haven’t been with anyone in your specific situation, so I’ve been doing research too because I want you to feel safe with me.”
Why is he so perfect? It’s like he knows exactly what I need him to say and when.
I smile as I turn toward him, and I place my hand on the one he left on my thigh. “I appreciate that,” I breathe.
“I just want you to know I’m here, with you, where you are. No one is pushing you, you set the pace.”
Damn it,I continue to melt at his words.
“Ok, well, I was curious what exactly control means to you. Do you want to just dictate positions? Or are you further into the BDSM scene?”
“That’s kind of difficult to explain,” he says after a brief moment of thought. My breath catches in my chest, wondering why it’s so difficult.
“I never really had a stable childhood. My parents are still together, yes, but my sister and I were always with a nanny. From when Nicole was a baby, and I was four or five, Mother barely spent time with us. We were always traveling, switching schools, and moving homes. I learned that I never had control over my life.
“When I first slept with someone, she was a year older, and basically told me what to do. It’s not like I didn’t already know how it worked, but she wanted it a certain way, and well, it did nothing for me. That very night I realized I felt helpless. I needed to dictate what happened during any encounters because my first time reminded me of everything I’ve always known. I wanted newness; I wanted to feel alive and to live a life I’d never known.
“And that’s my history. Not nearly as damaging as yours, but it’s shaped my life, and for the past eight years, that’s all I’ve known.”
“That’s… wow. I mean, yeah, but still, it kind of sucks.” I give myself an internal eye roll, becausehow eloquent.
“Back to your question – I kind of fall in between? I definitely like to be the one in control of positions and pace, but I do dabble in BDSM, from time to time. I would say I’m about seventy-five percent Dominant. I can be flexible, but in the bedroom, I’m not to be questioned.” His eyes slide to meet mine, and hot damn, the fire in his ocean-blue eyes makes me shift in my seat. The different sides of this man are so sexy, and I’m here for all of it.
“Oh,” I breathe out, finding myself short of breath.
“If we ever make it there, I don’t expect you to jump into the deep end. I’d just like for you to trust me, that if you ever decided you were willing to try some of the activities I like, you’d know I wouldn’t hurt you. I will never fault you for something that you don’t want to try, and I will wait for you as long as you want. I will always listen to you, so if I do anything that you don’t like, and I meananything, I will stop. Angel, I’m telling you now—if you are going to be mine, no one, not even myself, will ever hurt you again.”
I stare at him. Obviously, he’s driving, and can’t return my look, but he’s aware of me. He gives my leg a squeeze, and then slides his hand out from under mine and returns it to match his other on the steering wheel. I relax back into my seat and enjoy the final few miles into the mountains, and I allow my mind to wander. Just what would a sexual experience with Bast be like, and just how much would I actually enjoy it? Is this something that maybe I always needed, and just didn’t know? Looking at him right now, I contemplate just where I am in my life, and I can’t help wondering if fate really does have a hand in everything – guiding, leading me along the path I need to be on, to be loved by these unbelievable men.
SIXTEEN
COREY
When Bast pulls up to the hotel, I am literally bouncing with joy. Sunshine will be here with us this weekend! We’d get to hit the mountain together at some point! Fuck, ever since I found out she used to snowboard in Vermont, I’ve wanted to see her in action. Every move she makes turns me on, so just seeing her on a snowboard will give me wood, for sure.
I’m too damn excited about this weekend. I know Cait still had to make the arrangements with Dom, but just the hint that I’d be able to spend the weekend with her in my arms
By the time Bast pulls up around seven forty-five, we’re all unpacked and ready for breakfast. Jogging over to the passenger side, I open the door and swoop in to give Cait a quick hug. I stole a kiss, too, but I definitely made sure that wasn’t quick. I only broke away when she let out a quiet whimper, and I didn’t want to draw attention to her.
“Hi, Sunshine. Good morning,” I breathed into her ear. Chills run down my spine as I pull her to her feet. God, she feels so good in my arms.
“Hi,” she breathes, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in for a slow, sensual kiss. Her taste drives me wild, spurring my most vivid daydreams.Damn it,I wish we had more time.
I pull back hesitantly, beaming down at her. “I’m sooooo ready to see you in action today.”
“Same, Tiger,” she snarks with a wink before pulling from my arms.
Cait nods to Cam before greeting Dominic with a hug. We then make our way inside the restaurant and order breakfast. The meal is enjoyable, with a light atmosphere. It’s like we never abandoned her, leaving her to her nightmares.Fuck,my guilt is going to drown me. I know she’s forgiven me, but I feel like it’s not enough.
We head up to the rooms after the meal is complete. Dom told me he put the clothes Shelley picked out for her in our room last night, so I knew to go to the closet. Inside, I find the bags he had labeled with her name.
“Oh my god, he didnothave to do this!” she sighs with exasperation. The gear he brought was top-of-the-line, and I know he brought along an extra snowboard he keeps for his sister when she comes into town. At least he didn’t buy that. I think Cait would’ve protested. She slips into the bathroom to change, and I’m thankful because I don’t need the temptation to stay in the room all day. Bast and I quickly change into our gear, and after Cait pulls her hair into a quick French braid, we’re out the door.
