Page 31 of Frost Bitten
I sit there in silence for a few minutes. My mind is jumbled and fuzzy, thinking of all of the potential risks of allowing myself to be vulnerable again. Am I willing to open myself up to the pain of potentially experiencing something that might hurt me? Is my mind strong enough to hold itself together while I give up control?
“Dr. F, I think Iwantto be ok with the idea. I just don’t understand how I can get myself past the fear.”
“Cait, you said you and this gentleman had a brief discussion, correct? Maybe you should have a more in-depth discussion. Ask him questions, like what does he consider control? What activities during sexual encounters does he prefer? You can also go home and research BDSM in more detail, and while some aspects of that lifestyle I wouldn’t suggest, I think it’s more of you exploring your boundaries. Limits are a big deal in the BDSM community, and I feel that if all he wants is ‘control’, then a conversation about what you are and aren’t okay with is a reasonable request.”
“Unless you think you will be exploring this side of sexual experiences before your next visit, I think that is what I’m going to ask from you for homework. Go home, and do some research on all aspects of BDSM. If you happen to have this conversation with the young man who needs control, then great. If not, that’s fine too. I just want you to be educated about various mentalities and stances on sexual acts before you decide on what you want.”
* * *
I decide to sit down with my laptop and do some homework for school, but after Lily goes to bed, I quickly pop up and go check in with Mom.
“Hey, sweetheart,” she greets me as I sit at the dining room table.
“Hey, Mom,” I reply. “I wanted to know if you had any plans this weekend that you needed me for?”
“I didn’t have any need for babysitting, but I was going to suggest we all go for lunch with my… boyfriend.”
“Oh! We’ve progressed to titles now?” I give her a cheeky grin as I bounce my eyebrows at the suggestion that things are progressing between them.
“Stop that,” she fusses back at me, as a pink blush creeps up her neck. “I will say that, yes, things are going very well with Aaron.”
“Ohhhhhhh!” I squeal, overjoyed but still teasing her. “Well, I kind of wanted to go with the guys on their training trip overnight. It would be from early Saturday until Sunday evening, but if you don’t want me to go, I’ll stay.” I can’t hide the slightly disappointed tone, no matter how hard I try.
“No, dear, go ahead,” she reassures me. “You are an adult. You deserve to be able to do adult things, like weekend trips. I rely on you so much with this new job, and I’m so sorry for that. I want you to be able to do your own thing. There will be plenty of time for you to meet Aaron.”
I quickly reciprocate the smile she’s giving me, and little butterflies take flight in my stomach. I just can’t wait! I jump up and give her a quick hug before calling, “Thanks, Mom!” on my way down the hall.
When I get back to my room, I flop down on my bed. Picking up my phone, I track down Dom’s number from the group chat.
Hi! It’s Cait. I wanted to let you know I’m free this weekend, and I’ll definitely be able to make it for the trip. I can’t wait!
Dom
Hi! Perfect. I do have one question for you – do you have a snow jacket?
Shit. I don’t.
I haven’t picked one up yet. Actually, I need all new gear. I guess I can go shopping tomorrow, or Friday at the latest.
Dom
I’ll take care of it. I don’t want to ask what size you are, so if you want to call my office at the store tomorrow, my assistant’s name is Shelley; she can take your sizing info and get everything sorted for you. I can bring it along with me and have it ready for you.
I usually go up the night before, after I get off work, and get everything settled for the guys, so I’ll stash it in Corey’s room.
Oh… Corey typically shares a hotel room with Bast. Will that be an issue? I’m assuming you’d be sleeping with Corey. But I can book another room if need be.
His rapid-fire texts are amusing, and the offer to get me snow clothes is so generous. I can’t help but grin at his goofiness.
Dom, you don’t have to get me gear, I can get it. And yes, I’ll be sleeping in Corey’s bed, and I don’t mind being in the same room as Bast.
Dom
I absolutely will. I can write it off as market research. We don’t have a lot of testing for female-directed products. I’d love to find out what you think, so I’m going to bring you the gear to try out.
I mean, you get to keep it. I don’t want it back.
What I meant to say is that this is something I get to do as the VP of marketing. It’s research, and I like being able to do something for you.
