Page 30 of Frost Bitten
“Yup,” Corey confirms, reaching out to hold my hand.
“And what do you two think of that?”
“Angel, those guys are brothers to us, just like Corey and me. I’m going to say for us both that we don’t have an issue with them wanting you. You need support, and we’re all busy. And we all care for you.”
“And we all find you sexy as fucking hell,” Corey adds salaciously, a wicked grin gracing his lips.
I chuckle, still unsure. “Well,” I reply, “I guess I’m willing to try anything if it goes that far. But I need to get to know them both before I agree to anything. And I haven’t fully forgiven Cam yet.”
“We understand that,” Bast states. “We just want you to know we are ok with them if they try to make a move on you. But only them, no one else.” Bast’s eyes darken at the potential of someone else coming on to me.
Leaning over, I soften his reaction with a gentle kiss. As I pull back, Bast reaches out for my other hand. “Angel, can I talk to you about something in private?”
Curious, I nod, and Bast tosses his keys to Corey, silently asking him to wait in the car. I lean over, briefly leaning my forehead against Corey’s, before I give him a slow, sensual kiss goodbye.
“No problem. I’ve got the bill, guys,” Corey groans loudly as Bast helps me to stand and leads me to the doors. I can’t help but giggle at his antics, but I’ll have to remember to thank him for dinner later.
Bast walks me to my car, opens the door, and then shuts it once I’m safely inside. Then he slips around to the passenger seat.
“Angel, I need to have a very serious conversation before we go any further.”
“Ok?” I’m slightly worried by his tone.
“We are getting closer, and pretty soon, I know we’re going to get to a time and space where we can take things to the next level. But I have to admit something. In the bedroom… I need control. It’s something I’ve learned about myself, and I know you aren’t in a great space right now with sex, but I know I needed to tell you before we get into another situation, like the night of our first date.”
“Oh, I see…” I’m speechless, and I don’t know what to think. On one hand, this is hot as hell. Bast is a quiet man, but imagining him being in control of my body does things to me. But, I had to be in control last night, to get through it.
“I’ll wait as long as you want, but I needed to tell you verbally before things got awkward.”
“Thank you,” I say quietly. “I appreciate that. Just so you know, Corey stayed at my place last night. We were… I was able to push past my trauma. But I was in control, so I'll have to think about this. I need to know that my head will be ok whenever we do hook up.”
“I get it. That’s why we needed to discuss this. I just want to do things the right way with you. You are too special to fuck things up with again.” He leans over, wrapping his large, warm hand around my jaw tenderly, and places a sweet kiss on my lips. “You are worth taking things slow for, and when you’re ready, I’ll be there. I’m still here now, for anything else you need, but I want to do right by you. Treat you like the queen you are.”
I giggle quietly, but then he pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “No, that’s not a joke, Cait. You are amazing. You are strong and brave in the face of a threat. You care fiercely about the ones you love, and you are selfless. You are one of the best, most precious things in the world, and I will make sure you know this.” He exits my Jeep, coming back around to my side. He signals to roll the window down, and when I do, he leans in and places another soft kiss on my lips. “Goodnight, Angel. Drive safely, please.”
And with those last words, he moves away, standing a few feet back to allow me to back out of the parking spot. I look back into the mirror as I drive away, and I can’t help but think how lucky I am to have such incredible people on my side. Now, I just have to figure out my trauma, and things will all work out.
FIFTEEN
CAIT
Last night left me with a lot to think about. My date with both Corey and Bast was so amazing and comfortable. The news Bast shared about his preferences did worry me slightly, so I’m not surprised I spend most of Wednesday morning lost in my thoughts while I work. Ella has to nudge me a couple of times when I actually stand there staring off into space, and once, I let a coffee cup overfill from the dispenser. That was ridiculously embarrassing, and then I had to take the time to clean up the spill.
I call and reschedule my next therapy appointment to this afternoon, though. I need to talk to Dr. F about this new development with Bast. By the time I get there, I’m wrapped up in my thoughts, and it takes her a bit to get out of me what the actual problem is.
“So, what I’m understanding from you,” she begins, “is that you were able to successfully have consensual intercourse to completion with one of your suitors, but you were able to do that because he allowed you to guide the actions. And now, your other suitor has told you that he has a need for control, and you are confused? Maybe a little scared?”
Well… “Yes,” I tell her, shakily. “I’m afraid if I give up control to him, I will regress and have a panic attack. I only made it through the other night knowing Corey wasn’t going to touch me without asking first.”
“Have you considered whether you feel safe with these men?” she asks.
“Yeah, I mean, I guess I do.”
“And if you trust them with your safety, and feel comfortable engaging in sexual experiences with them, then what are you scared of? Your trust should be able to dictate your permission, if I understand you correctly.”
“Now, I fully understand being in control for the first time after the situation you’ve been through; however, there is power in giving up control. Dominance and submission is a tried and true coping technique for people who have been through experiences such as yours. And, while this young man may not practice the entirety of BDSM, control is a huge aspect of bondage and dominance. It is a practice where the submissive gives up their sexual pleasure to their Dominant to fulfill their needs. It’s all about trust. I’m not saying he is a Dominant, but the idea of giving up your control doesn’t concern me as your caregiver.”
“It is a risk,” she continues, “but I believe it is one that won’t hurt you. I might even recommend it, to be honest, if you are willing.”
