Page 25 of Frost Bitten
I call Corey on the way to my Jeep after the study session. “Hey, handsome,” I greet him, matching the smile I bet he’s wearing now. “I wanted to know if you had any plans tonight. I need some fun to release the stress from studying, and I thought you might want to come to my place for a bit?”
“Hey, Sunshine. Yeah, that works, but it might not be for a while. We have an evening training session planned at seven, and that might take a couple of hours.”
“That’s fine, I’ll be up,” I reassure him. “Just let me know when you're on your way; I’ll meet you at the door.” I’m sure he can hear the smile in my voice, but I don’t care. He is my happy place; well, part of it, now.
The drive to my appointment with Dr. Francis is spent considering just how twisted my journey has been. Between moving, meeting new people, and dating, my sexual health is getting better, but then I also had the incident at Fright Zone, and Jason’s threat to take me. Plus, I still have my schooling to figure out.
Once I enter Dr. F’s office, we sit, and I immediately start telling her about the guys.
“So, to break it all down,” I conclude with a deep breath, “they both want to date me at the same time. I haven’t been intimate with both, only once with one of the two guys. I’m kind of nervous for my first time, you know, since Halloween. I know that dating two guys will lead to intimacy with both, and I’m not sure how to go about that.
“I did tell the one I was with previously that I need to go at my own pace, so I don’t feel pressured, and the other told me he was willing to wait for me. But I don’t know how to take that next step.” Knowing I’m at the precipice of a life-changing moment, I expose the jagged edges of my heart, hoping I’ll be able to escape this hole without any other injuries.
After finishing her notes, Dr. Francis lifts her head to address me and takes a deep breath before speaking. “Cait, you’ve been through a lot. We’ve already talked about your feelings about how your choices and words were taken away. So, in the sense that you are in complete control over what you involve yourself in, I want to support that. I just know that hormones can override sensible thoughts, and that itself concerns me.
“As far as dating multiple men at once – do you think this is your way of voiding the claims by your attacker that you were only his? Could this be your way of denying him that? Polyamorous relationships can be healthy, as long as everyone respects the others in the relationship.”
After I consider her words, I wonder if this is just me taking advantage of a situation. Possibly. But I was attracted to both men prior to anything having to do with Halloween. The more I contemplate the situation, the more Dr. Francis observes me. “I think as long as you take the proper steps to enter into a healthy relationship with any individual,” she continues after she allowed me time to think, “you don’t have to restrict your feelings for anyone. Now, jumping into bed with these men – that is not advised. But you’re going to have to figure out what works best for your healing.”
“I get that, Doctor. I definitely don’t think Icouldjump into bed with either man. It’ll have to be something where I know that I’m in charge, and that I’m safe. Where no one will hurt me,” I admit with tears burning in my eyes. I wish I wasn’t in this situation, however, this is my burden to bear.
“It looks like our time is up for today, but I want you to consider these men in your life, and just what it will take for you to be intimate with both of them. I don’t want you to get into a situation where your hormones are out of control, and you end up in a more emotionally distraught place than you were just a few weeks ago. Especially with the burgeoning promise of a healthy relationship.” Dr. Francis stands from her armchair, and I rise as well, allowing her to escort me to the office door.
“Thank you, Doctor,” I begin, my mind swimming with thoughts. “I definitely have quite a bit to think about.”
* * *
The whole afternoon, and into the evening, I contemplate what it would take for me to fall into bed with the guys, despite my attempt to study. Honestly, I think it would be easier with Corey. I already had sex with him, and then I gave him a blow job Sunday morning. He makes me feel sexy, safe, and confident. It’s like he treasures me, so I don’t think I’d feel threatened. It’s more about feeling out of control. I don’t know if I could do it in a hot and heavy environment. Which, knowing our chemistry, is a risk. But I’m going to have to expose myself to it at some point.
To be honest, I think whenever I end up sleeping with Sebastien, it’ll be a similar situation. Bast just makes me feel like I’m precious. Valuable, something to be cherished, and not thrown away. He must be an empath of some sort because he knows just what to say to make me feel better when I’m down. I’m lucky because he’s so caring in general. I imagine he’ll be very conscious of our relationship and my needs. I know I’m going to have to be very watchful of my emotions when I do finally take things to the next step with him.
My mind is occupied all evening long, and I am only able to focus for a short while once Mom comes home, and we all sit down for dinner. After we finish, I tell Mom that Corey is going to come hang out, and while she met him in passing that one day, I’m sure she’ll make a big deal out of today.
Lily ends up going to bed prior to Corey's arrival. It takes him till nine-thirty to arrive, and Mom is in her room taking a bath; so when he texts me, I reply to knock lightly on the door, as to not wake Lily.
While waiting for him to arrive upstairs, I pour myself a glass of wine. It doesn’t take him long to park his truck and run up the stairs, so when he lightly knocks, I call him inside. “Hey, babe,” I greet him with a wide grin.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he replies, making his way over to the kitchen. I wrap him up in a warm hug before letting go to grab him a bottle of beer we had in the fridge.
I hand him his beer, and taking his free hand, I turn to lead him back to my room. I’m ready to sit back and watch a movie or something with my touchy-feely guy. Something about Corey grounds me and makes me feel connected. Like I’m not alone.
Once we make it to my room, I set my glass of wine down and turn to shut and lock the door behind Corey and block out everything but us. He pulls me into his arms, just relishing in the fact that we’re here, together. Corey’s tart, citrus scent wraps around me, comforting me, securing me in the moment, and giving me the sense that nothing will ever hurt me. A low rumble emanates from his chest, and that low growl turns off all my worries. I’m here with Corey and that’s all that matters.
I go to unwrap myself from his arms, and as I turn away from him, he yanks me back into him for a quick, steamy kiss. Immediately, the flame in my lower belly reignites, and the stirring within me sends shivers down my spine. I giggle lightly as we separate, and his devilish grin doesn’t help my situation. Instead, Corey moves to drape himself lazily over my bed. I join him, propping myself against the headboard. We chat lightly while we enjoy our drinks, but it’s not until Corey reaches back over his head to place his empty beer bottle on my nightstand that my mind switches gears. My hand reaches out on its own to brush against the tight muscles revealed by his lifting shirt.
“Oh, look who’s feeling playful,” Corey murmurs through his stretch. He turns his smirk back to me, as my fingers explore his firm body. I glance up, meeting his gaze, and temptation floods our connection.Fuck,I was just thinking about this. Is tonight going to be the night? Am I ready?
It is Corey, but we’re here. At my place. I don’t know if this could work.
“Areyou feeling playful, Sunshine?” Corey mumbles, passion filling everything in his voice that I’ve been missing in the past few weeks. It stirs my lower belly again, and I shut my eyes and just enjoy having his body under my touch.
“Maybe,” I reply coyly. I set my wine glass down on the nightstand beside me after taking one last sip, and then turn to lie next to him. Corey’s eyes roam my fully clothed body, and the hunger that resides in those golden jade depths feeds my need to satisfy him. I want to strip to show off my body, but I wait. Instead, I grab his hand and place it on my leg. I’m going to do this; I want his hands on my body. I can do this if I’m directing him. I need to help myself get over the memories of the unwanted touches.
“Sunshine,” he gasps, and I just shake my head.
“Let me do this, Corey,” I plead, my eyes closed in concentration. “Let me start this. I want to start getting back to normal. I need you; I need your hands and mouth. I need more; I just have to work my way up to everything else.” I guide his large, rough hand up my leggings, moving it to wrap around my ass. I squeeze, making his hand grip my cheek, and I pant. This is all okay so far, and I feel so good, so I push further. When I pull his hand around to the front of my stomach, I open my eyes. I need to see that he isn’t Jason, since this is where Jason touched me. I meet Corey’s eyes, strength rising up in me. I want this, I want him to erase those memories. I want to make better memories than those.
I move his hand over the swell of my breast, and I gasp. The pain in his eyes from being the one here with me to relive that horror combats with the lust for my body, and I wince, feeling guilty for using him. “I’m sorry,” I pant, “I should’ve asked you to work through this with me.”
