Page 13 of Frost Bitten
“You will,” he says, pulling me into a sweet, comforting embrace. “The guys and I will be here by your side. We won’t fail you again.”
“You’re damn right, you won’t fail her. You assholes couldn’t even care beyond your own selfishness, only wanting her to reach out to you because you felt neglected. I don’t know what is going on here,” Ella rants, gesturing at all of us, as Corey and Bast come over to join Dominic in supporting me, “and I swear to God, I’m not a violent person, but if you all let her down again, I will find some vicious way of making you pay. I haven’t come up with it yet, but you don’t want me to, because I have a very vivid imagination. You do know I plan on teaching kindergarteners, right? I’ll give it all up to protect my bestie, and you know, kindergarteners come up with the weirdest things… I have the best inspiration.” She ends her tirade with a wicked grin.
I freaking love this girl. She is my ride-or-die, and I love her for standing up for me. I glance around at the three remaining men. “Is there anything you want to say before I leave?”
“What about the cops?” Dominic is the first to speak up. “Did you call the cops that night?”
“No,” I sigh. “They hadn’t found him with the DNA sample from the break-in, so I felt the rape kit wouldn’t do anything except add charges to a ghost.”
Bast, ever the peacekeeper, speaks up. “Is there anything I—we can do for you, Angel?”
“I just need space to work through all my issues. I know you all didn’t mean for this to happen, but it did. I’m already struggling with all the other shit Jason caused, and now the nightmares of my present are joining the nightmares of my past. I just need a little space.” Corey looks broken, but it’s not up to me to fix him. He needs to fix me first. I hate that he’s suffering, but he needs to earn back my trust. Show me he cares about me and not listen to his friends when he thinks something isn’t right. I’m not going to be ranked second to his friends.
As I look over to Ella, I let her pull me out of the guys’ arms and help her downstairs. The three remaining guys follow us out, and as they watch us get into Ella’s car, I look back at them, giving them a small wave goodbye. I’ll text Corey and/or Bast tomorrow and start the process of moving on because heaven knows I’ll need all the support I can get moving forward.
EIGHT
CAMERON
What the fuck. What the actual fuck. What the fuck did I do?
I had to leave. I bolted from the room, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Hearing each and every detail overwhelmed me in waves of disgust and anger. In hindsight, that was likely nothing compared to what she’s experienced, but I can’t keep focusing on the destruction being recounted back there.
Fury coursing through my veins, I’m on a mission, determined to vent anywhere else but near her. My chest heaves with rage, and my skin is scalding from the shame of what damage I’ve caused.
Am I really that much of an asshole that I fucked over a gorgeous girl, that incredible woman, and I didn’t even take notice of everything that was going on? Am I that oblivious? As Cait sat there, poised and composed, she recounted so much pain with very little emotion. So much so that I had no idea what she was dealing with. I can’t imagine having to tell the story of all of this happening, when it was locked away, all safe and secure. Now, all of those memories of the past are bombarding her, not to mention all the new experiences she’s having to deal with that are currently haunting her.
Cait Monroe is so fucking strong, and I totally screwed her over. I was the derelict shepherd, leaving the lamb for the wolf that I didn’t know was after her. I had no idea that I was permitting this to happen by convincing my friends to turn their backs and allowing this venomous snake to work his way in, causing so much heartbreak.
I have no concept of space or time, but I find myself in the training room, wailing on the heavy bag. Thunder pounds in my ears, with those same thoughts repeating over and over.You fucked up. You blamed her, and look what happened. She was attacked because of you. Fucking asshole.I don’t even deserve to ask for forgiveness. How the fuck would I even try? I doubted her. I doubted the sincerity in her actions toward Corey. She was nothing but honest and upfront the entire time. As much as she knew, anyway. Cait has always been cautious, but I can’t blame her; we’re intimidating even to other athletes of our caliber, let alone a single woman new to town.
Andhim. If I ever get my hands on him, I will tear him limb from limb. He won’t know pain until he’s suffered it under my fists. The fucking asshole. How the fuck does some prick decide to prey on little girls?! Cait was eight when he met her. Fuckingeightyears old. Nine, when he married her mother. I can’t imagine what she went through, trusting this sick fuck as a father figure. She only wanted someone to care for her, not someone to sexualize her prepubescent body. The fact that he slowly wormed his way into her trust, making his advances at a snail’s pace, only confirms his evilness in my mind. He was hiding in plain sight of everyone, including her own mother.
I allowed so much to happen, in the name of protecting my family, and look at where we are now. We’ve all been lost in the storm of our guilt, and I’m not strong enough to save us. Only one person could at this point – her.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but my blinding rage begins to subside. The guys are in the lounge down here in the basement, just in the next room. I can hear their voices, but only just. I look down; I’m a mess. My button-down shirt is drenched with sweat from my exertion, and I’m still in the dark wash jeans and boots that I arrived in. I pace across to our locker room to change into the clothes I keep for random workouts before heading right back out. This time, I go to the treadmill; maybe exhaustion will rid my mind of guilt for the night and allow me to sleep. I am already warmed up when I see Bast out of the corner of my eye. I don’t slow down, and he doesn’t interrupt me; he gets me. He understands I feel the need to punish myself.
“When you finally feel like you’ve beat yourself up enough, we need to talk.” One sentence, and then he retreats, allowing me to wallow in my guilt.
I just increase the incline and keep running. I can’t stop. Not yet. Our endurance is phenomenal, and even with the heavy bag work earlier, I’m nowhere near the end of the penance I’m putting myself through.
Another twenty minutes, based on the treadmill timer, and my energy begins to wane. But, knowing a talk is in my future, I slow down to ease my body out of the rigorous exercise. I can always hit the weights later. By the time I cool down enough to not cramp, the voices in the other room are elevated. Not angry, just louder than before. I grab two bottles of water from the fridge and head in to face the firing squad. I turn the corner into the room, and Corey is beyond upset, he’s almost hysterical.
“No! I won’t calm down. Fuck this, we don’t deserve to be calm!” His rage is more passionate than the storm that was brewing within me earlier. Pacing in front of the TV, Corey glares at Dom, like he had the audacity to suggest such a thing.
“We also don’t have the right to feel angry on her behalf. We allowed it to happen,” Bast states stoically, and Corey’s simmering anger fizzles. Pain is written all over his face as he deflates.
“I just don’t know what to do. I’m crazy for this girl, and I should’ve known better. I’m a fucking shithead for allowing myself to be convinced to do that.” He looks up at me, and continues, “I’m not placing all the blame on you, bro. I can see your point of view, that’s why I eventually agreed. But I’m head over heels for her; I shouldn’t have let her down. I'd be crushed if she did that to me.” I glance up, as he addresses me, and then nod, understanding his guilt. Fuck, he’s really messed up. He crouches down on his haunches, head in his hands. “What do we do, guys?”
Dominic collapses into the couch, looking older than his thirty-three years. “Fuck if I know. We’re just regular people, and if the police haven’t done anything up till this point, I’m not sure what we can do.”
“We do what we can. We apologize, and we beg for forgiveness. We stick by her side; we support her,” Bast speaks up after a few quiet minutes. “I have a feeling she’s hiding most of how it’s all affecting her, and that she’s going to need the support of friends over the next little bit. She said he wants her to surrender to him, but we’ve got to figure out a way to prevent that.”
“There is no way we are allowing that,” Corey yells. The emotion in his voice is thick; tears saturate his words, even if they haven’t spilled from his eyes. Fuck, he’s completely head over heels, and there is no hope for him.
“I absolutely do not want her to give herself up, but we need to get the cops involved or something. I know they were called about the break in, but surely they can do something for this too. Or maybe we can find help elsewhere. There isn’t much we can do, and you all need to focus on your futures, too,” Dominic chimes in, always a voice of reason. The look on his face is one of uncertainty, though, so I’m not quite sure how dead set he is on letting law enforcement handle this little issue. Dominic, being about nine years older than we are, tends to view things differently, but something tells me he’s just as smitten, and just as worried, as the rest of us.
Fuck,us. I just lumped myself in with the rest of these heart-eyed fuckers. Do I really think of Cait that way? Yeah, she’s hot. Hot as hell. Navigating the natural curves on that girl is a risk I’d love to take. But she’s sweet and kind, too. She’s always smiling; well, until recently. Fucking hell, she’s wormed her way under my skin. How the hell do I make this up to her? How do I turn my betrayal around? Would she ever forgive me?
