Page 74 of Off the Mark
“I loved them. I snagged a couple to take home with me, if that’s okay?”
“I’ve got another twenty-eight back at my place if you need more, so…”
“Glitter signs and Ring Pops,” I said. “A girl could get used to this.”
I expected Rowan to laugh or joke or tease me back. But he was shoving his hands into his pockets, brows knit together.
“What is it?” I asked, a little concerned.
He swallowed carefully. “Nothing, I’ve just been thinking about the past a lot lately. About the two of us.”
Suddenly my limbs felt jittery, so I planted my feet, one hand gripping the truck. “What about it?”
“We were always doing things for each other, back at Jolene’s, weren’t we? Like, how many times did you let the team drink for free when we lost?”
I smiled at the memory. “Oh…I mean, that’s nothing. I liked all those guys, Rowan. They worked hard for not a lot of money. A little free beer on a rough night isn’t much.”
“Yeah, but you used to send me home with free food from the kitchen too. Remember that?”
“You were all broke. If I had extra, why not share it? Besides, my manager there was a douche, and I wasalwaysworking by myself. You were like my unpaid barback whenever you were in town, pouring extra beers and cleaning glasses when I was busy.”
One end of his mouth tipped up. “Like that random bachelorette party that came through?”
“Oh shit,right.We made a great team that night.”
“I know. You even shared the tip jar with me. Which I appreciatedalmostas much as the time you spent your break putting tire chains on my car.”
“A huge snowstorm was coming,” I said. “What was I gonna do, let you drive around unsafe?”
I wanted to fidget. I wasn’t sure why he was bringing all this stuff up, but a flush was creeping up my neck.
“Charlie…” He hesitated, something he rarely did. “If you don’t have plans tomorrow…we could go out and celebrate your win? Just the two of us. I promise to take you to all the best places the locals in South Philly go. No tourist traps, I swear.”
His tone was light. But that wasn’t what captured my attention. It was the glimpse of genuine sincerity on his face that sent up a flare of anxiety.
So I laughed, purely out of nerves.
Probably wasn’t the right thing to do.
“Do you mean…like an actual date? Rowan, we set rules for a reason. Made this a…atransactionso that no one got hurt. We both agreed to it.”
He looked uncharacteristically annoyed with me. “’Course I’m not asking you on a date, Maddox. I’ve already asked you on dates a dozen times, and you’ve said no. Also a dozen times. You don’t have to worry about me catching feelings for you. I’m not.”
Dual feelings of hope and disappointment warred in my chest—something about the way my heart soared at the wordsif you don’t have plans tomorrowand then plummeted atI’m not.
It was much too confusing, as if there was a reality where a full-time, traveling athlete who was rarely in the same place twice could date a man who was the heart and soul of the city he’d promised to call home forever.
It was a careless and reckless kind of hope.Weak.
Rowan rubbed his forehead. “We’re friends, yeah? I was only asking if you wanted to go someplace where we didn’t have to pretend. Keep talking, have a drink, that’s all.” He looked around, as if needing to confirm we were truly alone. Dropped his voice a little. “I know I’m only here for a reason. You need someone to prop you up and make you look good. And I’m happy to do it.”
I winced. “This is making me out like I’m just here, using you. Rowan, wearefriends. That’s why we set it up to be more equal, to make sure this had the possibility to help you too.”
“Charlie,” he whispered, every syllable of my name overflowing with frustration. “I don’t see you for four years and then you show up, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend, to pretend to beobsessedwith you in public. And I said yes because you know me. And you know there isn’tanythingyou could ask that I would saynoto.”
I stepped back, stomach churning. The truth he was edging around was as scary as all the others I was avoiding right now. “I thought you said you didn’t consider this a debt you had to repay. From the night…the night with your shoulder. Because there isn’t anything to repay there, Rowan. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” I swallowed around a lump in my throat. “And you’d do it too, for me.”
He dragged a hand down his face, looking as haggard as I’d ever seen him. “That’s not what I…”
