Page 59 of Renegade
He’s running his hands up my sides now, but all I can think about is Walker. The way he looks at me with that half smile on his full, sensual lips, like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. The feel of his hands on my skin. His gorgeous filthy-talking mouth. Yes, he pushed my limits, but they weremylimits, not his. Everything he did, he did for the sole purpose of giving me pleasure and making me feel more intensely, so I could experience the ultimate rush of placing myself in someone else’s control with the utmost trust that he would take care of me.
Declan leans in to kiss me, and in a moment of clarity, I realize this can never work. He was right all along. The handcuffs and the blindfolds, the commands and the thrill of giving up control—it’s all just fluff. I wanted the power play, but more than anything, I wanted to give myself to someone who could love me more than himself. I wanted to be wanted.
I hate that I’m about to lose a twenty-thousand-dollar client, but McKenzie and Charlotte will understand. I put my hand on Declan’s chest, stopping him.
“I’m sorry, Declan, but I’ve changed my mind. I thought I could do this…that I wanted this, but it isn’t at all how I thought it would be.”Not how it was with Walker, I think to myself.
To his credit, Declan accepts my decision graciously. We talk for a few more minutes before I walk him to the door. “Let me know if you change your mind,” he says as I open the door. “You’re a beautiful woman.”
I close the door behind him and lean against it, taking a deep breath. The knock startles me. He must have forgotten something. I open the door. “Declan, did you…”
Instead of Declan, Walker Kinkaid is standing in my doorway in all his gorgeous glory, looking even more badass and sexy than usual, or maybe it’s just because his raw and rugged masculinity contrasts so sharply with Declan’s sophisticated good looks. He hasn’t shaved in a few days. He looks hot as fuck.
“Sorry, not Declan,” he says, stepping into my apartment. “Although I did see him on the stairs.”
He sounds slightly pissed, but I have no idea why. Surely it’s not because of Declan; last night he was thrilled about how well he’d trained me for him. Whatever. I’m too emotionally strung out from my evening with Declan to try to figure out Walker’s mood. “What are you doing here?”
“Noah and McKenzie are on their way back. I’m meeting them here tomorrow. I want to collect on my bet tonight.”
“What?” I step aside as he swaggers into my apartment the way only Walker can.
“Our bet.” He flashes me that quintessential Walker grin that makes girls’ clothes fall off, but it has a dangerous edge to it tonight, a wildness that I don’t quite understand. “We made a bet last night. You lost. I’m here tonight, and I want to collect. Unless you have plans with Declan.”
“Um, no. He just left.”
“Good.” He crosses the room and slings his backpack onto the couch before turning to me. “Come here.”
Ka-thunk.My stomach drops at his simple command, and I slowly walk across the small living room and stand in front of him, my breath suddenly coming a little faster. How does he have this effect on me?
“You owe me one more night,” he rasps. Then he’s kissing me, and I’m kissing him back like I’ve been starving for days and he’s the only thing that can satiate my hunger. He pulls away reluctantly. “Don’t move.”
He turns on one small lamp and then turns off the rest of the lights before coming back to where I’m standing and slowly removing my clothes. I should feel self-conscious standing in front of him completely naked while he’s still fully dressed, but the way he’s looking at me leaves no room for that. The authoritative but downright ravenous look in his eyes leaves no room for anything but what he wants tonight. And what he intends to collect. Oh, God. My head is feeling thick and fizzy at the thought, as if I’ve drunk too much champagne.
“My God, you’re beautiful.” He doesn’t touch me; he just looks at me with that heat in his eyes that sets my body on fire. He turns to his backpack and pulls out the cuffs. “Give me your wrists.”
With my heart thundering in my chest, I stretch my arms out to him like an offering. He buckles a cuff on each wrist and clips them together before bending down to fasten the other set around my ankles. The air feels thick and warm. He hasn’t even touched me and I’m quivering with desire.
He grabs the ring where the wrist cuffs are joined and leads me over to the couch.
He strips off his T-shirt and then takes off his jeans, and I can’t help but lick my lips as his gorgeous cock springs up as he removes his underwear. I want a taste of that. He sits on the couch, slightly reclined, his knees apart, and nods to the space on the floor between them.
“Kneel.”
Thank God he’s a mind reader. I lower myself to my knees, my sex growing wetter by the minute at this even more dominant version of Walker. Never tentative under regular circumstances, tonight he has an air of deliberate and unwavering authority. And I love it.
“I figured we’d just get this out of the way from the start this time,” he says with a half- smile.
I smile back, grateful again for how he understands my need to regroup and prepare, and glad for this one moment of having the upper hand, knowing he’ll take it back when he’s good and ready. But I quickly realize he doesn’t intend to give me an ounce of control tonight. As soon as my lips touch his cock, he grabs my bound wrists and holds them over my head as he places his other hand on the back of my head. He controls my every movement, at times allowing me to swirl my tongue around his shaft teasingly, and at others pushing my head down until his cock slides all the way to the back of my throat, holding me there until I start to gag and then pulling me up as he tells me how hot that is.
When he’s had his fill of my mouth on his cock, he stands and lifts me to my feet, pulling me around to the side of the couch. He unfastens my wrists so I can thread my fingers through his hair as we kiss with an edge of violence, our teeth nipping at each other and our tongues tangling together with raw need. When we stop, he smiles faintly, rubs my cheek with his thumb, and then draws my hands behind my back and secures them there.
He turns me so I’m facing the arm of the couch and then, with a firm hand between my shoulder blades, bends me over it. I don’t move, but I watch him from out of the corner of my eye with curiosity as he steps away from me and goes back to his bag, pulling out a shiny metal bar about eighteen inches long with rings attached to each end.
“What’s that?” I manage to ask, my voice sounding like a squeak.
“It doesn’t matter really, does it? Any toy in my bag, remember?” He shoots me a lascivious grin. “You’re at my mercy tonight, sweetheart.” He crouches down and attaches the ends of the bar to each ankle cuff so my legs are held apart. With my feet cuffed to the bar and my hands behind my back, I’m completely immobilized. Oh, God. Why does that turn me on so much? He runs his hands over my body possessively, pausing his exploration to pinch my nipples until I gasp before stroking my skin again. He stops at the ticklish spot at the small of my back and I instinctively try to squirm away, but I can’t move very far.
“This is your fault, you know.”
