Page 48 of Renegade
Chapter Thirteen
Gemma
“Oh.”
Walker has laid out everything he bought this morning on the bed, and I stare at the assortment of sex toys, my heart suddenly beating a little faster. I don’t know what exactly I’d been expecting—maybe a set of furry handcuffs, a feather, and a blindfold or something. Not this overwhelming variety of things, including something that looks suspiciously like a whip with multiple leather strands.
“Worried?” Walker teases.
“Of course not.” Now would be a good time for that whole pathological liar thing to pay off. I’m sort of terrified, but there’s no way I’m admitting that to him.
“You should be,” he says, his voice taking on that deep, husky tenor that makes my stomach flip over.
Walker has already turned off most of the lights, leaving the glittering city out the window to illuminate our last night alone together. Tomorrow night, we’ll be at the club, and the next day, I fly back to Charleston and Walker goes wherever the bucket list leads him next. It’s such a Walker thing to do—remembering to turn off the lights after I asked him to last night. He might come across as a tough badass, but inside he’s just a softie. He’s kind, considerate, and protective to a fault. At least when it comes to me.
My fingers fumble with the button on my jeans. “Want me to strip?”
He stops my hand with his, his fingers wrapping around mine. He moves our joined hands to the small of my back and pulls me to his chest as I tilt my head back to look up at him. “No. Tonight, I want to enjoy slowly undressing you myself. Tonight, I want you to know what it feels like to be truly owned.”
I swallow hard. Owned by Walker. If only…
I’m already feeling the pangs of heartbreak that I know are going to slam me when I say goodbye to him day after tomorrow. But I can’t say no, because I need to be ready for the Dominion tomorrow and Declan next week. And I don’t want to say no, because I’m falling in love with Walker, and there is nothing I want more than to feel like I belong to him, wholly and completely, for one wonderful night.
Mistaking my silence for nervousness, he says, “I’ll tell you what everything is.”
He points to two pairs of Velcro cuffs, one slightly smaller than the other. “These are pretty self-explanatory. One set is for your ankles and the other is for your wrists. I’m guessing these will be more comfortable than my belt.” He smiles at me, and I realize for about the millionth time how much I love the way his smile reaches his eyes. Something about the way he looks at me with those liquid brown eyes, and the laugh lines at the corners of them, always puts me at ease. Feeling more confident, I pick up something that looks like a collar with a black plastic ball attached in the middle.
“What’s this?”
“A ball gag. You think you feel helpless when you’re tied up? Imagine not being able to speak, either.”
I don’t get it. “Why would anyone want this?”
He runs his finger tenderly over my cheek. “Because it makes you rely on me even more. You have to have the utmost trust in me to allow me to silence you.”
The thought of not being able to talk, of losing the ability to say no to him, is oddly erotic, although I don’t know why. It should feel degrading and wrong, not hot. I guess this bodes well for my time with Declan. I’m starting to think this submissive thing really is what I’ve been looking for all this time; I just didn’t know what to call it.
“What about this?” I point to a metal circle that has four short black leather straps attached to it, making a cross. A metal ring is attached to the end of each strap.
Walker runs his hand down my side. “Can you guess?”
I shake my head.
A faint smile crosses his lips. “I guess I’ll just have to demonstrate that one.”
I pick up the whip-looking thing, running the thick leather strands through my fingers. “Is this a whip?”
“A flogger,” he corrects. He winks at me. “I’m looking forward to using that one.”
“I know you don’t want me to go to the club, but you don’t have to be so gleeful about trying to freak me out beforehand,” I say with a frown. Although to be honest, being able to see everything and touch it and talk about it with him beforehand makes it a lot less scary.
He cups my cheek in his hand, and his lips graze mine softly. “I actuallydowant you to go to the club. But yes, I enjoy freaking you out, too. I want to push you to your limit. I want to know what will make you say no.”
Why would he want me to say no? That doesn’t make any sense. “Youwantme to say my safe word?”
He nods as he slowly unbuttons my blouse, easing it over my shoulders and then carefully laying it over a chair. “Mmm-hmm.” His voice is a low hum as he unclasps my bra and takes it off, too. The hotel room air is cool, and my nipples tighten under his hot gaze. He pulls on one, and I gasp. He smiles. There should seriously be an antidote for Walker Kinkaid’s slow and easy smile.
He steps closer and unbuttons my jeans. “I like you a little off balance…” He drops to his knees in front of me and pulls my jeans and my underwear down around my ankles with one sharp tug. “…a little out of control,” he whispers.
