Page 35 of Rogue
“I get the power of making your body respond in ways you never imagined possible. I get control. I get an intelligent and beautiful woman who trusts me enough to open her body to me, who relies on me to push her limits but still keep her safe. I get intensity and the amazingly heady power of this thing we do. Because it strips us both down to our naked souls, and for a moment, we get a glimpse of the holy.”
“Oh.”
I take her hand, rubbing her knuckles with my thumb. “So tell me what’s going through that mind of yours. Did you like it?”
“God, yes! I’m worried about how much I like it.”
“Why?”
“I want to be stronger, not weaker.”
“That’s exactly why you can do this, and what makes it even more precious to me. It takes courage to open yourself up to new experiences. It takes downright fearlessness to let yourself go and to offer yourself to another, not knowing where they’ll take you. You might experience pain or be propelled to dizzying heights of pleasure. You might be objectified or deprived of your own gratification. You are subject to another’s desires, their darkest and most depraved fantasies. And maybe your own. That’s no small thing.”
“They weren’t that depraved,” she says with a small smile.
“I was going easy on you. We still have a few days.” I wink at her.
She blanches, which makes me laugh and pull her into my arms. I like keeping her off balance. I hold her there, my chin resting on her head as we both stare out at the ocean.
“I didn’t know you could do so much with basic household objects,” she finally says. “Were you a Boy Scout?”
“Even better. A Navy SEAL.” The second the words are out of my mouth, I regret them, but then I remember I’m not telling her anything she doesn’t already know. Or thinks she knows. Good old Manuel already took care of that for me. She snuggles in closer.
“It’s one of the reasons I feel safe with you.”
I start to tell her again that although she can trust me with her submission, I’m the last person she should feel safe with. But I realize she’s right. I will walk through fire so she doesn’t get burned.
“Will you help me with something else? Something not on the list?” she asks, her voice soft.
“What is that, sweetheart?” There’s pretty much nothing she can ask for that will surprise me now. And nothing I would deny her.
“Teach me how to not be afraid.”
I sigh and pull her closer. She doesn’t know just how brave she is.
“It’s just a matter of getting to the threshold of what scares you and then working up the courage to cross it. Usually what’s stopping you is the stuff you make up in your mind. What might happen. But once you push yourself over the threshold, there’s no turning back. It’s real. You’re not imagining anymore. You’re just reacting.”
She’s silent for a minute, absorbing what I’ve said. “But how do you get the courage to cross the threshold?”
“You rewire your brain to ignore the stuff you make up in your mind. You shut out the doubt and the negativity. You step out of your comfort zone on a daily basis, until you become comfortable with the uncomfortable.”
“You know a lot,” she says, smiling up at me. “Like how to give amazing massages.” She shivers at the memory, and I make a mental note to do that again soon.
“What can I say? I have good hands,” I say, squeezing her ass. “And I took a massage class when I was stationed in Thailand.”
“I’m wondering what else your hands can do,” she teases.
I grab her and haul her on top of me as I stretch out on the chaise so her back is against my chest, my stiff cock nestled into the crack of her ass. She wiggles a little and giggles, and I grab her breast with one hand and her pussy with the other.
“I’m so glad you asked,” I murmur in her ear.
Several hours later, after I’ve held her on my lap and played with her while she squirmed and ground against me until we were both ravenous, after I made her come with my fingers and then with my cock, after we’ve showered together and explored each other’s bodies in exquisite detail, we check out of the hotel and set out on theKairosto explore the islands of the Bacuit Archipelago. From what I know about her brother, he would approve of my plan.
“Where are we going?” she asks as we drop anchor and set out on our kayaks, individual ones this time.
“The Philippine archipelago is made up of over seven thousand islands, many of them unexplored and untouched. Palawan, where we’ve been, is one of the largest. It’s also the gateway to the Bacuit Archipelago, which is home to some of the most beautiful islands in the world. I thought we’d do some island hopping today before we make our way down to Sipadan in Malaysia where we’ll dive. That will be a good day or two of solid sailing, and I know from experience that you get bored spending too much time on the boat. I figured I’d better wear you out with kayaking and snorkeling today to keep you quiet for the next few days.”
“Stop!” she protests, but she’s laughing. “It will be better now that you’re not avoiding me.”
