Page 39 of Defying Ella
I studied him from the corner of my eye. His expression was strained, but he didn’t look like he was jonesing for an insult-slinging match. Instead, he appeared as tired as I felt.
“Sugar is always the answer when I’m stressed.” I glanced around the romantically lit space. “If this isn’t a hall pass for bingeing all the bad food, I don’t know what is.”
He didn’t comment, but he did spring to his feet and beat a hasty retreat. Sighing, I sank back into the cushions, my heart somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach. Shouldn’t have pushed for more after we managed to spend a civil evening together.
Something clanged behind me but the fire felt far too nice and my body had melted into something resembling lead. Whatever it was, I’d deal with it after a nap.
The rich, sharp scent of dark chocolate hit me hard, setting off my sweet tooth and a craving I would never be able to assuage. I couldn’t bake for shit.
A throat cleared and my eyes popped open. Jared stood before me, two bowls in hand. He held one out to me, his expression demanding I take it before he changed his mind.
“It’s cold, unfortunately, but I guess it’ll do the job.”
A lump formed in my throat as I accepted his offering. Five days ago, we couldn’t stand to be in the same room for any length of time. Now, he actually listened to me? I didn’t know what to do with that.
“Thank you,” I whispered, terrified of breaking whatever this change was. I dug in, while he grabbed our wine glasses and an open bottle. He sat back down to a soundtrack of my groans, and I refused to be embarrassed. “This is insanely good.”
He shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “Phoebe’s a fiend for chocolate fudge cake. I figured she got it from one of you.”
“Good guess. Mel doesn’t have a sweet tooth.” I smirked at him, my eyes probably twinkling with mischief. “She tells me off every time Phoebe gets her hands into the stuff. It’s not my fault my four-year-old niece has good taste in dessert.”
He chuckled, and it was the best sound I’d heard in days. My stupid heart did a little jig in my chest.
Silence lapsed as we ate our desserts and sipped our wine. I tried not to think about being rescued. If I focused too hard on our situation being anything less than a far too confined holiday, I might freak out right alongside Jared, and that wouldn’t help either of us.
“What you were saying before, about feeling like you don’t belong…” He hesitated, his pinched gaze roaming mine. “You know I never meant to make you feel like that, right?”
“Jared, you didn’t.” I shook my head thinking about how easily he’d been able to rile me up in the past few months. “If anything, I think I used you as a distraction from it all.” I turned towards him on the sofa, tucking my legs beneath me like the night was just any other night and we’d made a choice to sit in the dark. “I would have liked less hostility, but it served a purpose.”
“That’s good to know, but I’m still sorry.” He rubbed his jaw. “I have my own issues and that’s not an excuse, but I can’t…” He blew out a shaky breath. “Why is this so hard?”
“Maybe because you’re scared of the reaction you’ll get?”
“That sounds about right.” He slid further down the sofa until his knees bumped against the coffee table and his thigh nudged mine. “I don’t feel like I belong, either, so I’m sorry I made it worse for you,” he whispered, peering at me from beneath his lashes.
I never thought an apology, even an uncertain, stuttering one, from Jared would make me feel better. Never thought I’d believe him after all the back and forth we’d been through. Yet, the pressure eased at the back of my neck at his quiet words.
Catching his hand, I squeezed. I didn’t want to push my luck, but it felt natural. “I appreciate you saying that.”
His lips curled up a little but he said nothing more. I had to take my hand back to finish my dessert and he refilled our wine glasses, his gaze fixed on the flickering flames of the fire. Despite the situation, it was peaceful.
“So you were avoiding telling me about the generator…”
I lowered my spoon, watching him like I could see inside his mind. “Maybe…”
“Care to share now I’ve fed your sweet craving?”
“Hmm, only if you promise not to freak out on me again.”
He chewed his lip for a second, his brows furrowing with some internal debate. “I’ll try,” he finally said.
“Fine,” I grumbled. Might as well get it over with. “I don’t know where the generator is. I couldn’t find it the first day. So either we don’t have one, or we were already on it, and the mainline power was down.”
His head fell back against the sofa and his eyes squeezed shut. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he groaned. “So we’re basically stuck with no heat or electricity until someone rescues us.”
“That’s pretty much the conclusion I’ve drawn, yes.”
“Fuck,” he shouted. I jumped at the sudden collapse of our peaceful space.
