Page 40 of Defying Ella
“But we have the fire, plenty of candles and matches. And the stove is gas, so we can still cook.” The words rushed from my mouth at a frantic speed, desperate to keep him calm. Panicking wouldn’t help either of us. “There’s loads of food and water. We’ll be okay.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right.” He sighed, crouching over and tugging at his hair. “But my chest won’t stop pounding no matter how I try to tell myself all that.”
I placed my bowl on the table and rubbed his back. “You can ignore me if you don’t want to answer this, but it’ll help if I know.” He rolled his head to the side, catching my eye with alight of resignation in his blue depths. “Do you suffer with anxiety?”
Words weren’t entirely necessary. The truth glared from our every interaction and the triggers that set him off, but I couldn’t trust my instincts with this man.
“I…” He swallowed hard and glanced away, rubbing at his eyes.
Nothing but the crackle of the wood in the fire interrupted the peaceful quiet for several minutes and my hand froze on his back. The longer we sat there, him not speaking, not sharing, the more awkward the gesture started to feel, and the more I questioned why I felt this need to comfort him.
“It’s late, and we’ve had a lot to drink.” He stood abruptly and lowered my hand to my lap, watching me closely. “Maybe we should get some sleep before we…” Hands in hair again, he stopped, his eyes narrowing on me and his mouth opening and closing. He shook his head before his need to share overrode him. “I’ll kill the fire. Will you snuff out the candles? Hopefully, it’ll all be better in the morning.”
Leaving him one candle, I retreated to my room and crawled into bed, my mind whirling with the glimpses of the Jared I’d seen tonight. Who knew a dinner would be so revealing.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Shivers wracked my body, mocking my pointless attempts to fall asleep. At least two hours had passed and not even a pile of blankets, a hoodie, and two pairs of leggings could generate enough heat.
My mind fixated on the fire on the upper level. Surely if I relit that and camped out on the sofa, I’d get at least a couple of hours before Jared woke up.
Or maybe I just needed to make a cup of tea and find another blanket.
Either option meant leaving my cocoon. My entire body tensed at the thought of it, even though my current situation was definitely not working.
There must be a hot water bottle somewhere in this place.
Gritting my teeth, I threw the blankets off and shot out of bed. I made it to the upper level in record time, taking the stairs two at a time and wincing each time my foot touched the freezing cold wood.
I flung the kitchen cupboard doors open and searched for a stovetop kettle. We were in Italy, where electric kettles weren’t common, even if Andy was a typical Brit and had stocked the place with tea-making amenities.
Something shiny caught my eye beneath the sink. With a hoot of triumph, I straightened with an old-school teapot in hand.Someone needs to remind me to send the man a gift basket when I escape this place.
“Alright there, Sparky?”
A scream tore from my throat and the kettle fell from my slackened grip. I jumped back before it could crush my toes, holding my hand to my hammering heart.
“How about you give a girl some warning before you go creeping around in the dark?”
Jared muttered a quick apology and bent to pick up my teapot. He’d dressed similarly to me, plastered in more layers than I’d ever seen him wear before.
“Can’t sleep either?” he asked before turning to the sink to fill the kettle.
“It’s too bloody cold.” I shuffled around, trying to keep warm through movement while he lit the stove. “Hoping some tea and a hot water bottle will help.” I glanced around the dark space, frowning. “If I can find a hot water bottle that is.”
Jared set the kettle on the stove and turned away from me. He strode across to the fireplace and started packing it. I rubbed at my freezing cold arms as I studied him with confusion.
“What are you doing?”
“You said you’re freezing. I’m fixing it.”
“Okay but the fire’s up here and we sleep downstairs.” I wandered over, my frown deepening. “How does that help us?”
“We’re going to sleep upstairs.” He didn’t even glance at me when he muttered those words.
My gaze travelled between him and the two sofas. “But there’s only one pull-out.”
With a flame catching in the burner, he straightened and shrugged. “Then I’ll sleep on the other sofa.”
