Page 127 of Savior
“Yeah,” I mount Serene as well. “Let’s go bring down a few of these Fuck Shacks.”
The mattress sinking behind me stirs me from my sleep. Dean’s arms wrap around me from behind, his body against my back, as he places a soft kiss behind my ear. I open my eyes and focus in on the clock sitting on my night table. It’s just after midnight.
“You’re home early.” I halfheartedly joke.
“We need to make up, Vanna. Properly.” Dean whispers, placing more gentle kisses against my neck. “I can’t pretend everything’s fine, when it isn’t. Not with you, baby.”
“I thought you said you forgave me?”
“I did. I always will.” He says, pulling the neckline of my t-shirt down to expose my shoulder. He places kisses there, too.
I let out a guilt-ridden sigh. “Promise me?”
“I promise you everything… Now turn around and kiss me, Vanna.”
Rolling over in his arms, I tell him, “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“Hold me to anything you want, baby. Just kiss me... There’s nothing I’ll ever be able to find any joy or contentment in, without things being right between us.” He whispers, kissing up my neck, along my jaw, waiting for me to accept his kiss against my lips. “I thought you forgave me, too?”
“I did… I do.”
“I do…” Dean sighs. “I like the way that sounds… Say it again.”
“I do?”
“Say it like you mean it.” He pulls me closer against him.
“I do.”
“Mmmm… Fuckin’ Aces, baby… Again…”
I have to suppress a little laugh as I tell him once more, “I do… What’s gotten into you?”
“Are you ever going to set a date, so we can say those two words to each other, in an official capacity?”
“Well, that depends.”
“On what?”
“What I should tell you about tonight...”
He stops kissing my neck to look me in the eyes now. “I’m listening.”
“Remember your promise.”
“This has to do with Legion.” I can hear the trace of annoyance already rising in his tone. Feel the tension begin to radiate from his body. If I tell him, we’re not going to make up. If I tell him, it’s just going to add to the strain we’ve both been feeling on our relationship.
I’m so tired of fighting about Legion. The last thing I want is a repeat of last night. And it’s not as if I asked for that encounter in the dark…
“I…I…”
I lose my nerve, and decide since nothing happened, that I neither discovered anything about Legion that could help Dean, nor did I manage to convince Legion to leave us alone, there’s no need to further worry him about anything, Legion and I.
“I went to the pier, after work. You said you’d be late tonight, anyway… I wanted to be near the water.” At least it’s a half-truth…
Have I had to lie so much in my past for the sake of survival, that lying just comes so easily to me now? Have I allowed Jack to tarnish me in this way, as well? I swallow down the shame that thought stirs inside of me.
Dean’s brows furrow and I know he’s about to impress upon me, how it’s a dangerous place at night, and that I can’t do these things.
