Page 9 of Frosty Felicity
With AAA still on hold, she quickly called her mother.
“Mom, my car battery died and—”
“Felicity! You left out of here and didn’t say goodbye or anything. How rude!”
“Mom.” She rolled her eyes and sucked in air, desperately trying to keep from saying something foul. “Did you hear me? I’m stranded! Currently waiting to talk to AAA, and a police officer is trying to help me. As far as dinner tonight, I had to get out of there. Look, I stayed for most of it, so honestly, you should be grateful, but it became too much. I was sick of seeing Steve slurping gravy and picking at the tiny pieces of cornbread in his mustache, then eating them. Just gross!”
“You still should have said something before leaving, and why in the world would you style your hair that way tonight?”
“What was wrong with my hair?”
“You have about five pounds of gel in your hair, girl. Lord help you if a candle got too close, and the back is sticking up like Woodstock’s, from Snoopy. Is that supposed to be a ponytail in the back? It looks like a Jack Russell Terrier’s tail.” Felicity rolled her eyes and prayed for relief… “Oh God, child, I really wish you would not have cut your hair last year. I know it’s thick and hard to manage, but you have beautiful hair, Felicity! You didn’t put hardly any effort in your attire tonight, either.”
“Mom, that’s not true. I have on a very nice dress. One of my favorites.”
“That dress was entirely too tight and sexy, and you wearing that diamond necklace that says, ‘First Wine, then Relatives,’ was highly inappropriate, too.”
Felicity gasped and snatched the thing off, tossing it atop the bag on the passenger’s seat.
“Mom, my car broke down because while parked in front of your damn house, a squirrel got under my hood with a piece of fried, original recipe chicken and met his maker, and now an officer is trying to help me, and I have to go!”
“Felicity, I don’t have time for this. Have you been drinking?!”
“NO! Mom, I’m sober. Shhh! A cop is near—you’re going to have me out here takin’ a breathalyzer on top of everything else! I’m telling you the truth. This isn’t one of my jokes. That squirrel was up to no good, you know, like the ones that started makin’ trouble in your neighborhood. I got in one little ice storm, and the squirrel got scared, and said ‘I’m eating on some chicken and need some hot air.” Why did that sound like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Why am I rapping?
“That’s God trying to tell you something about how you marched out of here before dinner was even served! I hope you—”
She ended the call once she heard Officer Mason approaching, loud steps on the snow. Red in the face, obviously still fighting laughter as he positioned his squad car, and hooked up the cables to her car. She picked up the phone to see if AAA had hung up while she was speaking to her mother, and much to her surprise, another Christmas jingle was playing. She put the phone on speaker and set it down, following his instructions for the jump.
Finally, the car started. She sighed with relief.
“Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome. No problem.” He closed the hood, holding a garbage bag in his hand. She knew exactly what was inside of it, too. Ewww. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes ya don’t… “It’s all taken care of now,” he said as they both seemed to notice at the same time someone waving him down from the sidewalk.
“What’s the problem, sir?” he hollered.
“Someone stole my license plate, man!” the man angrily screamed.
She smiled when Officer Monroe rolled his eyes, the same way she did when people got under her skin.
“Okay, I’ll be right over.” He walked over to her passenger’s side and tapped the window. She quickly rolled it down, figuring he was going to give her some safety tips, perhaps even a lecture of some sort. When he folded his hands, she noticed there was no wedding ring. He’d originally had on gloves, but now they were gone—perhaps to help her with her car. “What’s your name?”
“Frosty Felicity. I mean…” She laughed, and he smiled, too, though she knew there was no way he would understand the inside joke. “Felicity Fontana.”
“I hope you don’t mind, Felicity, but I was about to run your plate in the system.” He pointed to his squad car.
“Why? I don’t have any outstanding parking or speeding tickets, and I hadn’t done anything illegal, except be a shelter to a now dead squirrel who fancies fried foods.”
“Oh, I know, but I wanted to know a bit about you. Then I figured, why do that, when I could just ask?”
She relaxed at his light tone.
“So, do you have a husband or significant other?”
“…Uh, no. Why?”
“Great answer. Well, this is highly unprofessional of me.” His lips widened in a grin. “But I was wonderin’ if you might want to go out to dinner with me sometime?”
