Page 8 of Frosty Felicity
CHAPTER FOUR
Batteries and Bunnies
“No… NO!” Felicity beat on her steering wheel. After witnessing the street turn into an ice-skating rink right before her eyes, the last thing she needed was car trouble. She’d avoided several slips-and-slides that night, made sure she had a full tank of gas before she’d left out to her mother’s for Thanksgiving, and navigated the terrain like a pro, all while cursing people out who obviously didn’t know how to drive in such conditions. Now, her battery light was flashing on and off, and the car wasn’t moving. She looked up ahead, and she was less than a ten-minute drive away from home. A damn shame.
I don’t believe this! As if this night couldn’t get any worse! I just left Mom’s house—each minute was a nightmare, yet I grinned and bore through it—and now, this is the thanks I get. I just want to go home!
She hit the steering wheel once again. It wasn’t long before the honking began. With heated rage, she rolled down her window, jammed her head out and screamed, “You lousy bastards! You think I’m parked here for my health?! If I could move, I would! Go around!”
She quickly rolled the window back up, batted the snowflakes off her face and lashes, and took a deep breath before brainstorming on the best course of action. She could call her father, but that would take forever and put him in danger, too. She could call AAA, put her membership to good use, but that still would require a wait, and there was no telling how long it would take for them to arrive, especially in such weather conditions. She sat there for a bit, beginning to feel the chill as the heat in the car got weaker, a little at a time.
She glanced around inside her vehicle, needing a blanket to give her more protection than her thin cardigan over her skin-tight black dress. Her thicker coat was in the trunk of the car. What a time to be without it. There, in a corner in the back, she spotted a neatly-folded one, next to her pink plastic bag containing the new sex toy she’d purchased earlier in the day, when the streets were clear and the sun was out. Poor Mr. Peter Rabbit had given his last hop during her self-pleasuring romp, and he needed to be replaced by an upgraded model. Pronto. Thankfully, the drive to Hustler, an adult store in town, took care of her needs. She didn’t wish to wait the two to three days to receive a replacement online, and besides, she didn’t mind shopping the wares—perhaps something new would catch her attention, after all. But nope. Tried and true won.
She grabbed the bag, tossed it on the passenger’s seat, and grabbed the blanket it had been sitting on. Wrapping it around herself, she grabbed her phone and was soon on hold with AAA. Some damn Christmas music played as she impatiently waited. She found herself grinding her teeth to practically a fine powder while Michael Jackson crooned about his mama kissing Santa Claus, and how he was going to tell his Daddy… Mean ass Joe Jackson. As she waited to speak to someone, she noticed red and blue lights coming her way, then stopping behind her.
“Oh hell… just what I need.” She sighed and moaned. Is it a crime to break down in the middle of the street? Damn this battery! It’s a new one, too. She prided herself on staying up-to-date on her car maintenance. Toyotas were supposed to be built to last. Placing her hand over her forehead, then feeling her hair slicked back with Ecostyler gel, she waited for the cop to come over and ask what the issue was. After that of course he’d walk off, leaving her stranded. In her side mirror, she watched a tall, broad-shouldered man approach while the walkie-talkie in his car kept crackling. He had dark hair peppered with fresh snowflakes, and his footsteps crunched on the snow as he drew closer. Lowering her window, she swallowed when she looked into some of the brightest light blue eyes she’d ever seen in her entire life.
There before her stood a man so handsome, her nether regions waved a white flag, then flooded her new panties like a cup filled with juice that had been tipped over. Oops. The gorgeous police officer had a five o’clock shadow, a strong jawline, slightly messy, thick brows, and one deep dimple on his right cheek.
“Hi.” His smile was brighter than the damn snow.
“Hi…”
“I’m Officer Mason.” She read his shiny badge with his name on it. “I see that you’re just parked here in the middle of the street. I doubt that’s by choice.” He chuckled. She glanced at the gun on his hip, then laughed back… though she hated how that sounded. She was nervous, irritated, turned on—a damn mess. “What seems to be the problem, Miss?”
“I, uh, it’s car trouble…” She found herself struggling for words at that moment for he seemed to be glowing, as though he had a halo around him. Perhaps it’s just the glare of headlights from passing cars. “My battery light came on.” She pointed at it. He moved a bit closer, cocked his head, and checked her controls and gauges.
“Do you mind if I take a look?”
“Oh, not at all. I’m on the phone with AAA right now.”
He nodded in understanding, “Pop the top, please.”
The officer walked to the front of her car, and less than five seconds later, she could have sworn she heard him curse.
“You’ve got to be shitting me.”
He DID cuss…
“What’s wrong?” she yelled, jamming her head out of the window.
“Ma’am, can you come here, please?”
Her heart began to thump in her chest like a beaver tail against a log. Opening her driver’s side door, she stepped out, worried about what the issue was, and stood by his side. As soon as she looked down, she gasped.
There, under the hood, smack dab on the battery, was a flattened squirrel. It was clutching a fried chicken leg, some of the meat and gristle still on the bone, though it looked pretty dehydrated. The squirrel appeared burnt to a crisp, but he’d died with that damn meal close to his heart. Suddenly, the cop burst out laughing. It was a booming laugh, the kind that shook the earth. Once the man started up, it didn’t stop for a long, long while. He leaned against the side of the car, as if about to lose his footing, his face turning red as he waved his hand around, trying to catch his breath. Meanwhile, she was flushed with mortification and resentment.
“I’m sorry,” he managed… but then, the laughter began all over again.
“It looks like a squirrel caused the problem with your battery. It probably crawled into your hood for the heat source. Trying to get warm while it ate. When you started your car back up and drove off, well, you know the rest. Anyway, I tell you what, I will remove him, and his dinner, too. I can also try to give you a jump, or you can keep holding for AAA.”
“I’ve been on hold for over ten minutes now. I’ll take my chances with you. I have cables in my trunk.”
“No, you’re okay. I’ll use mine. Sit tight.” She got back in the car, clutching her phone and burning up with embarrassment as the officer laughed all the way back to his squad car.
Who in the hell but me gets a fucking squirrel under their hood, one that jacks up their battery because its ass is in there eating KFC?! I hope it was finger lickin’ good, you furry son of a bitch! Now I’m out here in this frozen hell zone, after escaping the family Thanksgiving dinner, only to have to get a jump from a gorgeous cop who undoubtedly thinks I’m some weirdo, so there’s no need for me to start flirting and laying it on thick! That ship has sailed. Why would he want to go out on a date with the fried chicken squirrel girl?! I know he’s in his car calling his friends, telling everyone he knows right this second. Hell, he probably thinks I put the damn squirrel in there myself for a little evening snack. A bit of fried rodent just in time for the holidays. Who the hell knows!
She peered in her mirror, trying to see what the cop was up to, but was unable to determine at that moment. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME! This night cannot get any worse.
