Page 105 of Perfect Distraction
Losing Andrew was a hundred times worse.
She called her friend Kate a few times, needing someone to talk to, but she wished she had someone to hug and talk to face-to-face. The fact that she didn’t feel she could be that open with Emma or Kiara about it just made her feel more isolated.
She spoke to her dad once, and he excitedly described a new electronic dispensing machine he’d purchased for the pharmacy that would speed up the process for both the pharmacists and technicians. Between the uncertainty of where her job stood at Coleman and the loneliness she felt, Lauren had an unusual sensation of homesickness for her uncomplicated prior life in Oklahoma. She’d been an outsider in her family, true. But she had good friends and had never suffered acute pain like this. Before, she’d focused on the negative aspects of working with her dad. But now, she was considering the positives, and there were more than she thought.
Then, on Friday morning, two weeks after the run-in between Andrew and Gavin and when Andrew was admitted to the hospital, Lauren had an email waiting in her inbox. Dr. Hawthorne wanted to meet with her, but he didn’t specify why.
So here she was, about to step off the elevator and head to Dr. Hawthorne’s office, terrified of what she was about to hear.
His door was open, and she stopped short of entering, knocking lightly on the frame.
Dr. Hawthorne’s gray head tilted up from where it had been bent over paperwork on his desk. He stood and motioned her inside.
“Lauren, come in. Is it two o’clock already?” He pulled out a chair on the opposite side of his desk for her and closed the door before he returned to his seat. “How’s your day going?”
“Well, and yours?”
“Busy, but I like it that way.” He smiled at her. “Well, let’s get straight to it. You’ve been a wonderful asset to this institution, and instrumental in improving patient care and safety. We’d like to offer you a full-time position here at Coleman, as the Clinical Pharmacy Specialist in the leukemia and lymphoma clinic.”
His words were so unexpected, and the release of tension in her muscles so sudden, she nearly slid to the floor. A wide smile spread across her face. “Really?” Part of her had thought Gavin had reported her, and this meeting would be a serious discussion about her involvement with patients for the rest of her residency contract. Minus a permanent job offer. “That’s such great news. I’d be thrilled to be a part of this group. I’ve learned so much, and I respect the mission of the center and the strides being taken to improve the quality of care for patients with cancer. I’ve never been happier since starting my residency here.”
Dr. Hawthorne leaned back in his chair. “I take it you accept the position, then?”
She thought of her dad, prepared for the familiar rush of guilt. But now that the opportunity to continue the job she loved was in front of her, she felt nothing but excitement and certainty.
“Yes, I happily accept.” She and the Director of Pharmacy had previously discussed the salary and benefits that would be offered if the position was approved, and knowing she would stay in the lymphoma clinic had answered her final question.
“Wonderful. I’ll have Sandra in HR reach out with the required paperwork to get the process started.”
“Um, Dr. Hawthorne? There’s one more thing I’d like to talk to you about, if I could.” She swallowed, terrified to bring it up but knowing she wouldn’t feel right if she didn’t. Even though she and Andrew had broken up, it was still possible for Dr. Hawthorne to learn of the short-lived relationship.
The older man steepled his fingers. “Of course.”
She willed herself to stay calm and her lunch to stay down. She didn’t remember ever feeling this nervous. “I want to be completely honest and tell you I became romantically involved with a patient. I was only part of his care team for one day, before I moved to another service, and we didn’t start seeing each other until after that. It was near the end of his treatment, when we thought he wouldn’t be receiving chemotherapy anymore. Unfortunately he had some residual disease on his scan, and he’s still receiving chemotherapy. The relationship has…ended.” She took in a shaky breath. “Before we move forward with the job offer, I wanted to make sure you were aware, and that I recognize it was unprofessional of me.”
Dr. Hawthorne’s face remained calm as he listened. When she stopped, he said, “I appreciate your candor, Lauren. It’s not easy sometimes, being in our position. It’s a delicate balance, the care we have for our patients, and the time we spend with them, while keeping it professional at all times. Important, but difficult.”
Her heart was in her throat and she held her breath, unsure where he was going with this. He swiveled in his chair and pointed to a framed photo on his desk.
“See that woman right there? That’s my wife, Karen. She was the nurse in my clinic when I was a fellow at Memorial Sloan. It wasn’t convenient or appropriate for me to fall in love with her, either, but I was helpless against that woman.” The look in his eye when he spoke about her confirmed his obvious affection for his wife. “I’ve met with several providers who have worked with you, including Emma, Dr. Patel, and Dr. Stanford. None had a single negative thing to say about you. They believe in your integrity, and therefore, so do I.”
Relief flooded her, along with a sliver of jealousy that Dr. Hawthorne’s love story had a happy ending. “I…thank you, sir.”
He stood and held out a hand. “Welcome aboard, Dr. Taylor.”
Lauren went straight to the fourth floor and found Kiara and Emma waiting for her with bated breath.
“Well?” Emma asked.
Lauren made sure her face gave nothing away. “Well…”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, just tell us,” Kiara cried.
Lauren laughed. “He offered me the job!”
Both women jumped up and hugged her, jostling her from one set of arms to the next. “It’s such a relief.” She put a hand on her head. “I can’t believe I get to work with you guys every day forever and ever!”
“We need to sign a pact,” Emma announced. “No one is allowed to quit unless we all vote on it.”
