Page 8 of Hiding In the Dark (The Righteous 4)
She felt like she was in a fog. All her movements were on autopilot as her mind floated around in the midst of what-ifs—everything from getting dressed, to the yoga workout, and even to walking down the hall to the kitchen to make the drink she was now sipping.
Ashley pulled her legs up under her as she stared out of her sitting room window. She swirled around the magic green elixir that was supposed to be the cure-all, at least according to her mother. Taking another mouthful of the disgusting-looking green drink, which was oddly tasty, she had to admit she felt better after a workout and shower. Focusing on her body helped to relax and calm her mind, which was always in a state of panic. Lately, the panic attacks ranged from bearable to full emotional breakdown.
“One thing is clear, being alone with your own thoughts is not always healthy,” she grumbled as she stood and put her empty glass in the dishwasher before heading to the door.
Slipping on her shoes and a light jacket, she strapped on a small shoulder pack, ready to tackle the day. The elevator ride down was blissfully quiet, and even the bus stop only had a few people waiting. Things were definitely trending in the right direction.
Her cellphone rang, and she stared at the doctor’s office number, swallowing hard. Her thumb shook over the answer button, unsure if she wanted to know what they had to say.
Taking a steadying breath, she hit talk. “Hello, this is Ashley.”
“Good morning, Ashley. I’m Lindsay a nurse from Doctor Matheson’s office.”
Ashley swallowed hard even though the nurse’s voice was cheery. “Good morning. Did I forget something yesterday?”
“No, not at all. I’m just calling to let you know that all of your new medications will be ready for pickup from the pharmacy on the lower level of our medical building at four o’clock today. They close at five, so I wanted to give you lots of notice.”
A buzzing like-white noise started in Ashley’s ears. She knew she was panicking and couldn’t hear the rest of what the nurse's instructions were. It was as if the woman’s voice had been reduced to squawking on the other end of the line.
“It is very important that you speak to the pharmacist and set up a proper regiment that you can stick with. If you have any questions or unusual side effects, give us a call. We are always happy to help.” The last word was far too chipper. There was no help, that was a lie. As if she actually meant that there was any real help, but of course they would do their best to lie.
“Thank you, I will pick everything up at four,” she heard herself say before the line ended.
A woman waiting with her small son looked over and smiled, and heat flushed throughout her body. Did everyone hear? It didn’t matter. There were only six people standing around—the thought of any of them knowing anything set off another round of panic.
Taking slow breaths, she focused on counting backward from a thousand until her brain cooled its freak-out. No one had heard, and if they had, she could’ve been picking up something far more boring—no need to be embarrassed.
Luckily, the bus arrived a moment later, and the remnants of her irrational fear dissipated. Letting everyone else on first, she climbed the stairs and swiped her bus pass. “Good morning, Sarah,” Ashley said, smiling at the woman who had become a staple in her daily routine.
“Well hello there, Honey. I missed you yesterday. Was everything alright?”
That should’ve been an odd question coming from a city bus driver, but she’d been riding the exact same bus for the past three years. Sarah, the driver, had been with the route at least as long. They weren’t exactly friends, but they were friendly. She knew that Sarah was divorced and had two girls, and that she loved seafood and God. “I’m good, Sarah. I just had a few appointments, so no work.”
“Alright then, Honey. You grab your seat. I made sure your favorite is still open.”
As she stared into Sarah’s warm and caring eyes, Ashley wondered why she’d never made a point of making more close friends. She kept everyone on the periphery of her life. It was the safe zone—friendly, but not friends. It made her wonder what else she’d been pushing to the side all these years. What else had she missed out on and now may not ever have the chance to enjoy?
Ashley smiled wide. “You’re the best,” she said before grabbing her usual seat near the front. Ashley opened her phone and scrolled through the massive to-be-read list on her Kindle app, which she’d been collecting but never seemed to get through.
The cover ofDark Lightby Billie Blue caught her attention, and she ran her finger over the screen as she stared at the angel wings. She could use an angel right about now. Clicking on the book, she flicked to the first chapter and settled in to get some quality reading time done on the way to the shelter.
She’d been so immersed in the pages of the beautifully written fictional world that it felt like the blink of an eye when the bus rolled to a stop and she had to get off.
“Thanks, Sarah.”
“See ya later, Honey.”
Marching the final distance to the former church, she slowed to a stopped to stare up at the large church that at one time would’ve been a pinnacle of the community. The rainbow of stained glass glistened in the bright morning light. The once stunning structure now showed its age. Bricks were chipped and falling away, while the decorative moldings and panels were broken or missing altogether. The building looked the way she felt inside and not in a good way.
This would be her new mission. She needed to find a way to save this place. It was the one spot where she felt like herself.
Life had a nasty habit of kicking her in the teeth, but she’d always been a fighter. All the other times she’d gotten knocked to the ground she wouldn’t lie down and stay there. Her hand clenched around the strap of her pack as a flare of anger filled her and made her gut burn with determination. If the last twenty-nine years had taught her anything, it was that life could be cruel, but you were never given more than you could handle. She would handle this.
Kes stepped out of his tent and yawned as he stretched—his side mildly barked with the movement. He rubbed at his side and the scar that would forever remind him that there were worse things than the pointless crap the majority of the world worried about. Who gave a fuck about who wore it best and who was fucking who when bombs were landing on your home and you were being shot in the streets. It was just another reason why he hated spending time with the Dwellers. They had no idea how good they had it. They didn’t think twice about the roof over their heads, the schools they got to attend, or the freedom they blatantly abused.
The rustling sound of a tarp caught his ears, and he looked up to see Zumi slip from the spot where she and her mother slept.
He nodded as she looked up and spotted him. A small smile lifted the corner of her mouth. She tucked herself into her sweater like a turtle and tiptoed lightly and sprightly like a pixie around the tents and random sleeping bags with their sleeping occupants.
