Page 111 of Tight Ends & Tiaras
SIENNA
I wrangle Lilyonto my hip and make my way up the stadium ramp. Today, the media and fans are allowed to watch the team practice, and I wanted to bring Lily so we could cheer on Ben.
I still feel terrible I didn’t get a chance to see him last weekend. He was very understanding about what happened and said everything was fine, but he still feels distant and the conversations have been awkward. I’m hoping it’s just the stress of training camp and being sequestered in the dorms.
I hadn’t intended to be gone so long on Sunday, but Naomi had a yoga retreat emergency when one of her instructors called in sick at the last minute. I thought I could squeeze it in and be back before noon. Then I got stuck in traffic on the way back from Austin and hit a pothole the size of a small barnyard animal. It all went south from there. I was in tears when I finally got back and realized Ben had already left.
Squinting against the harsh sun, I search the field for Ben. It takes me a minute to realize he’s on the sideline while they scrimmage. That’s weird.
Lily and I settle on a bench in the front row, and I balance her on my legs so she can see the field. “Look, there’s Daddy! Number twenty-one.”
I shamelessly eavesdrop on the ESPN reporter next to me, and that’s when I learn Cal is playing tight end, along with some other player, instead of Ben.
Did he get in trouble for that fight after all?
He doesn’t see us because his back is to us. Half an hour goes by before he makes it out onto the field.
And immediately scores a touchdown.
Lily and I yell, and I jump around with her in my arms. He eventually looks out to the stands when he’s drinking water and gives me a huge grin. He trots over and leaps up the brick wall to hang off the side.
I lean over to kiss him. He’s sweaty and hot and flushed, and I’ve never seen a more beautiful face. “Hey, handsome. Nice job with that touchdown.”
“How are my girls?” He kisses Lily on the cheek, and she giggles.
His coach yells at him to stop screwing around.
Ben looks down at the ground, his jaw clenched.
“Sorry, I don’t want to get you in trouble. We just wanted to cheer for you a little.”
“Thanks, sunshine. You’re the best.”
Then he’s gone.
Tomorrow is the last day of camp, thank God! I plan to make a nice dinner for us because we are desperately in need of some one-on-one time. I pray this situation with his coach isn’t as bad as I think it is.
But when he finally makes it home, Lily is so excited to see him that she won’t go to bed and sits on his lap while we have dinner. I’m reluctant to bring up anything too serious while she’s awake. I’d rather those two enjoy their time together. Unfortunately, he promptly falls asleep on the couch after he gets her tucked in for the night.
The next day is a whirlwind of getting textbooks and school supplies and things we need for Lily. It’s crazy that these guys get one day off before classes start and regular football practice kicks in.
Finally, that night, we come together in bed for a fierce round of sex, and I fall asleep half on top of him. The sex is amazing. It always is, but I can’t help but feel something is missing.
What’s strange is how he doesn’t want to talk about football or his coach or what happened with Cal. He doesn’t want to discuss why his coach didn’t start him in the scrimmage or why Cal is playing tight end. I feel like there’s a part of Ben I can’t reach.
I keep thinking he’ll eventually let me in if I don’t push him, but after a week back home, it still hasn’t happened. Classes are in full swing, his practices are grueling, and we’re busy juggling Lily’s daycare with Magnolia and one other girl we hired, and I’m exhausted. Judging by the circles under Ben’s eyes, he is too.
But still, he keeps it all bottled up.
Not able to stand it anymore, I gently nudge him to open up. “How is Dr. Patricia? Did you get a chance to talk to her while you were at training camp?”
“She was on vacation.” He presses his palms into his eyes and leans back on the couch, groaning. “I was supposed to make a weekly appointment with her for the fall, but I didn’t get a chance, and now she’s booked during the times I have available. Which is a joke because I barely have a lunch break, but that’s when I’d be able to see her.”
Damn it. “I’m sorry.”
I crawl into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck and burrow my nose in his neck. His strong arms wrap around me, and for some reason, this makes my eyes sting. I sniffle as subtly as possible, but he hears it.
He rubs my back. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
