Page 67 of Tight Ends & Tiaras
BEN
Janelle’shateful words ricochet in my head as my feet pound the winding path around the lake.
“You’ll be a terrible father. You’re selfish. Even your sister knows it.”
“I left you because Ernest made me feel loved. You never let me in.”
“Your family’d be pissed if they knew you weren’t giving me a chance. If they knew you were hooking up with some random bitch.”
It’s true I might prove to be a terrible father. Not saying I’m perfect, but damn, she knew where to sink that dagger.
All the guilt I’ve carried from not being there for Gabby when we were kids suddenly feels like a weight on my chest.
I confided in Janelle when we were younger. She knows about my nightmares. About my fear that my sister would die. About how I had to distance myself from my old life so I didn’t lose my shit. For Janelle to turn that on me feels really low. Has she always been this vindictive, and I was too stupid to see it?
As for me never letting her in, the fact she knows enough about my past to throw it in my face speaks volumes. Not that she wanted to hear it.
Her biggest beef was about Sienna. She hates that we’re dating, but I won’t apologize. She knew full well what she was facing when she accepted Johnny’s invitation on this vacation.
Sienna’s been nothing but nice to her. You want a definition for classy? It has a big-ass photo of Sienna on it. Janelle has been snide and insulting this whole trip, but Sienna has only been patient and understanding.
Did I say I wanted to work out something long-term with Sienna? I’d have to be out of my fucking head to think I could handle a relationship while trying to deal with Janelle, who is making me certifiably insane.
By the time I make it back to our cabin, I’m lightheaded and dripping with sweat. I grab my shirt out of my waistband and use it to mop my face.
The living room is empty. I figure everyone went to lunch, but when I round the corner to my room, I find Sienna on the floor with Lily. They’re spread out on a blanket, playing with blocks.
“Hey.” I’m still panting from running like my ass was on fire. “Where is everyone?”
“Horseback riding.”
I frown and glance down at the peanut. “Even Janelle?”
“Yeah. They might have gone to lunch first. I’m not sure.”
I’m surprised Janelle left our kid with Sienna since she just spent the morning screaming in my face about her.
“This is not how I wanted to spend this trip. I’m sorry babysitting fell to you. I offered to watch Lily today, but Janelle freaked out.”
Sienna gives me a patient smile. “It’s okay.”
Sienna’s too chill. Sometimes I want her to get pissed. Janelle’s been a royal bitch to her. A part of me is relieved Sienna is watching Lily instead of anyone else, but why should she do Janelle any favors?
But she doesn’t need me to psychoanalyze her.
“Give me ten to take a shower, and I’ll take y’all to grab something to eat.”
“We already ate, but we can go with you if you’d like company.”
Her sweet understanding makes me feel like shit for some reason. I don’t get why. I guess I wanna do something nice for her, but I’m not sure what.
Plus, I think we need to talk.
“Okay, then how about we go horseback riding like we planned? Just the three of us.”
That gets me a genuine smile. “If that’s not too much trouble, then yeah, I’d like to go.” She looks down at the baby. “If you think Lily can handle it. She hasn’t had her nap yet.”
Fuck.
