Page 77 of The Outpost (Jamison Valley 4)
Silas chuckled. “That’s just because he wants what you have.”
Beau mumbled something under his breath but I couldn’t hear him. I was too busy replaying Silas’s jest.
Did Henry have feelings for me? I’d always thought my crush on him was one-sided. No wonder Beau and Henry had both been puffing up their chests.
Men.
They might have an issue with one another but I was content to let a group of large, strapping men act as my protectors.
Because if the Russian mafia was after me too, I would need all of the protection I could get.
The drive to the outpost the second time was just as nerve-racking as it had been the first.
Different but no less stressful.
On my first journey into the woods, I’d been nervous about where I was going, scared of the forest creatures and uncomfortable next to Beau’s dog. Now, those worries were long gone but new concerns had sprouted in their place. The outlook for my future was just as bleak as it had been in April.
I hadn’t gone with Henry to witness protection but was I just postponing the inevitable? Would I ever get my life back? As my body jostled around on the bumpy road, I sat silently wondering if it was pointless for me to wish for anything other than to simply stay alive.
Silas and Beau stayed mostly quiet too on the drive back. It wasn’t until we were an hour into the wilderness that either of the men spoke. Even then, their conversation was limited.
“We should have driven part of the way so you didn’t have to take us all the way back to the outpost. You’ll be lucky to get home by ten,” Beau told Silas.
“I don’t mind. Felicity has wedding stuff with Gigi tonight anyway.”
A stab of jealousy zinged through my side. Felicity wasn’t having attendants because I couldn’t be a part of their wedding but it still hurt that I was missing everything.
Maybe I needed to get used to this. Was her wedding just a preview of my eventual reality? Would I be trapped in a new identity in a faraway town, forced to watch silently through Facebook posts and Instagram photos how my family and friends were living?
I didn’t want that life. I didn’t want to start over. I didn’t want to lose the people that I loved.
A tear dripped down my cheek and I swiped it away, not wanting Beau or Silas to know I was crying. It was selfish to feel sorry for myself. The only person to blame for these circumstances was me. Had I not written the Federov story, I would be safe in Seattle, having my bridesmaid dress fitted and packing for a vacation to Montana to be in Felicity’s wedding.
On the whole, my story had triggered more positive outcomes than bad, but it had come at great personal cost. The worst of it was, had I known this was how it would all turn out, I don’t know if I would have written the article. Would I have let the gun smuggling continue? Would I have let the Federovs keep ruining lives?
No. Even though it might have destroyed my life, I still would have written the story.
For Janessa.
By the time we pulled up to the outpost, it was nearly seven. I didn’t feel much like eating but my stomach was growling for dinner.
“Do you guys want something to eat before you head back to town?” I asked.
“I’d take a sandwich for the road,” Silas said.
“Sure thing.” I hopped out of the truck and hustled inside.
By the time the guys joined me, I was in the middle of slapping together four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wrapped up two in a paper towel for Silas and gave him my last bag of chips with a bottled water.
“Thanks,” he said.
I smiled. “You’re welcome. Can you give something to Felicity for me?”
He nodded. “You bet.”
Then I rushed into his arms, hugging his waist as tightly as I could. His hand patted my back but I didn’t let go until my nose was no longer stinging with the threat of tears.
When I stepped away, I forced a smile. “There, give her that hug. Tell her I miss her, I love her and that she’ll be the most beautiful bride in history.”
