Page 24 of The Outpost (Jamison Valley 4)
“Well, you’re going to try. You’re dead on your feet, and if you don’t get some rest, you’re going to wear yourself too thin.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to.” Anton’s voice was still in my ears. Another nightmare would be too much for me to cope with tonight.
“Trust me. Please?” he asked. “I’ve got you.”
His words melted my resolve and I slid into the warm pocket. One of his arms curled under my neck as the other twisted me into his chest. With my face tucked into his shoulder and my arms pinned between us, I was securely locked in his embrace.
“Try to relax,” he whispered into my hair.
“Okay.” It took me a few moments, but soon the tension in my muscles melted away. The fretting thoughts vanished and an epiphany sparked to life.
No man would ever hold me this well.
I was made to be wrapped in these arms.
A woman could tell a lot by the way a man holds her. She could tell if he had the strength to endure the rougher moments. If he had a mighty yet kind heart. If he could make her feel safe and cherished.
Beau’s embrace said all that and more.
He knew I was having a tough time, but instead of picking me up and taking the burden, he was just giving me the support to beat it back myself. He was propping me up. I didn’t need or want a man to fight my battles for me, even if they were against the demons in my mind. I wanted a man who would hold my hand, squeezing it every now and again so I knew I wasn’t alone as I waged my own war. I wanted a man who would push me to keep battling because he knew I’d eventually win.
Being held in Beau’s strong arms was exactly what I had needed. This time, when Anton crept into my sleep and the nightmare began, I wouldn’t be alone as I fought to push him away.
I doubted I’d ever find such a perfect embrace again.
“Sleep,” Beau whispered into my hair.
And, for the first time in a week, I did just that.
I’d been sleeping in Beau’s embrace for the past six nights and not once had Anton revisited my dreams. Just like this morning, I woke peacefully to warm arms wrapped around my back and Beau’s heartbeat vibrating against my cheek.
“Good morning,” he rumbled to the top of my head.
I rolled away and stretched in the sleeping bag bed. “Morning.”
Boone’s toenails clicked on the floor and I slapped my hands over my face before his wet nose could touch my mouth.
“Boone, get out of here,” Beau said.
“He’s okay.” I giggled and sat up, reaching out to rub Boone’s floppy ears. I was holding fast to my stance that I wasn’t a pet person, but as with most rules, there were some exceptions. Boone was mine. His fur was soft and he didn’t shed that much. He was affectionate, and much like his master, he was a calming presence in my mixed-up world.
“I’m going to shower.” Beau stood from the floor and walked away as I continued to pet Boone.
Since it would be a crime not to take a moment and appreciate his sexy, rounded butt clad only in his underwear, I snuck a peek before he disappeared into the bathroom. A trail of shivers ran down my back before I stood and started rolling up the bed.
Our bed.
Beau and I were absolutely playing house.
We’d work together outside during the day before returning to the outpost to cook dinner in the tiny kitchen. After eating, we’d spend our evenings in front of the fire, playing gin rummy or cribbage. Then he’d set up our bed and tuck me into his chest, and we’d both fall asleep, unmoving until morning.
Like newlyweds, we were spending as much time with one another as we could, but without the sex. That was still a no-go area.
Had my attraction for Beau faded? Not in the slightest and it was a bit unnerving. I’d never been in this situation before. The longest I’d ever felt attracted to a man had been two weeks. This week marked three at the outpost, and I was still burning hotter than ever.
I knew Beau was still feeling it too. There was a reason he always took the first shower, that being the mammoth appendage poking me in the hip every morning.
Damn these circumstances.
