Page 98 of Sweet Ache (Driven 6)
“Yeah, that’s because he was too busy landing a punch on me.” There’s a smirk on Vince’s lips but the tone of his voice tells me that he’s dead serious. I just stare at him to make sure I’ve heard him correctly. “Yep. Dead truth. I never saw it coming because the room was so damn dark. And then he stood there for a moment, shocked I think that he actually hit me, and took off after you.”
The memory of thinking I heard my name being called returns—and I think about how I disregarded it, and wonder if he’d found me then, if Hunter had never interfered, would I have ever known about the bet? Would I still be the fool or would I be none the wiser and better off without the knowledge?
“Well, he didn’t find me, Hunter did.” I tell him, hands back on my hips and turmoil in my soul. His eyes shock open a little at Hunter’s name but he nods his head up and down.
“Hawke couldn’t figure out how you knew, but assumed it was his brother.”
“Hunter was in on it, then?” I’m confused as a thought hits me that never crossed my mind before, and just when I was softening some. Hunter’s not part of the band, and yet he knew about the bet. Who in the hell else knew about it then? The groupies by the stairs, the rest of the guests that night? I mean was I the pathetic laughingstock of the party?
Vince can see my anger rising and puts his hands up to calm me down, his head shaking side to side. “No. He eavesdropped on a conversation Hawke and I were having. That’s the day he punched him, the day his mom unleashed everything….” His voice trails off. “When Hawke went looking for you, he ran into Hunter, who’d been texting for money all day. After everything with his mom, with whatever you were able to get him to see, he told Hunter he was done supporting his habit when he ran out of the monthly bullshit payoff he gives him.” He must sense my surprise at the comment because he nods his head. “I was surprised too. So Hunter showed up, was pissed about being denied money, angry we didn’t tell him when the party was, and him and Hawke went toe-to-toe before Gizmo calmed the situation down. He must have gone outside, and then he saw you … and Hunter did what he always does, he tried to fuck over Hawkin.”
Sinking down into the couch, I try to wrap my head around the new information, about being used by twin brothers but in ways I never expected, and worry what this all says about me, worry that I’m perceived to be someone who is gullible.
“Wow.” It’s all I can say.
“I know…. Look,” he says apologetically, “I didn’t mean to lay all of this on you. I know I’m partially at fault … and I know it’s not going to change your decision about Hawke or take away how bad you were hurt, but I thought you should know.”
We stare at each other for a moment as tears begin to well in my eyes. I nod my head, letting him know I understand his reasons for being here, but I’m struggling to process everything. I can tell he’s uncomfortable so I’m not surprised when he says, “I should probably get going.”
“’Kay,” I murmur, lowering my eyes as he walks up to me and leans over to press a kiss to the top of my head much like my brother did. The hollow sound of his boots on the tile fills the house as he walks to the door before I hear the click of it shutting.
For the longest time, I stare at the same spot on the carpet with blurred eyes and muscles tense as I contemplate what’s best for me. And even when the first tear falls, I already know my answer, know that he’s who I want.
My hands have worried that damn piece of pape
r flat, edges are folded over, creases are faint but there. Can I live with that? Will those imperfections be the weak point ready to give when the edges are strained over another issue? That’s what I need to decide.
I want Hawkin on so many levels. I think I’m ready to fight for him. I just need to figure out how to go to him with a heart full of understanding rather than a fistful of resentment.
Chapter 33
HAWKIN
I tap the rhythm out to the song circling in my head, lyrics absent but beat present as I try to work through the nerves humming in my system. I’ve worked crowds of thousands of people but sitting here on the hard leather seat, the judge’s bench in front of me, Ben to my left, and nothing but the unknown stretched out before me, I’m nervous as fuck.
Add to that he took my phone from me so that it would not interrupt or distract the proceedings, so I’m shit out of luck when it comes to trying to ease my anxiety by getting lost in mindless rounds of Angry Birds.
I’d kill for some Skittles right now. Maybe candy would help calm me.
“Relax,” Ben murmurs, closing his hand over the top of mine to stop my thumb from thumping, and immediately the jogging of my knee beneath the table takes its place.
“Easy for you to say,” I snap, my misplaced anger directed at him. It’s not his future and his freedom on the line here. Come to think of it, it shouldn’t be mine either. I sigh loudly. This self-doubt is such a new thing these days and I hate it.
“I have a feeling everything is going to—”
“Feelings don’t mean shit!” I bark in a hushed whisper, and then squeeze my eyes shut to staunch my anger. I mean the comment in more ways than one, and I can’t fucking think about her right now because I need to focus on this, on the here and now.
Ben sighs in resignation as I glance over my shoulder for the hundredth time since we’ve been sitting here waiting for the judge to arrive. I know she won’t be here but for some reason I keep looking, keep hoping. I’m a poor fucking pussy-whipped sap.
Keep telling yourself that, Play, and you just might believe it. Being whipped is the least of the things I need to worry about. Thinking I’m falling in love with her is a tad bit larger.
I shake my head in shock as the realization hits me right now when I can’t do shit about it. The panic I expected to feel should this day ever occur doesn’t come because I’m scared, but rather because of how bad I fucked this up. I may finally have found a woman I’ll let in my battered heart and then lost her all in one fell swoop.
Stellar.
My eyes sweep back over the benches and see no one, not even Vince. I told the guys I didn’t want them here but despite that I still expected Vince to be here representing the band. And a small part of me is shocked that Hunter’s not here. I wouldn’t put it past him to want to watch his brother pay for his sin, take a little bit of joy out of me being in the legal hot seat for once. It’s a fucked-up thought but it’s true. Besides, he’s pissed at me enough right now because I’ve cut off his funds, so I’m thankful he’s skipping this party.
“Man you’re making me nervous,” Ben says in my ear, and thank fuck whatever was up his ass ten minutes ago when he walked in this courtroom has been removed because last thing I need right now is him being an asshole to the judge and jeopardizing my freedom. “There’s an accident on the ten. We just missed it but that’s why the judge is late. Just relax.” He draws the word out and if I hear the term one more time I’m gonna flip my shit.
