I go to slam my palm into his chest, but he snatches my wrist before I can make contact, twisting my arm and turning me around so that he can pull my back to his front.
“Beast might be the hand-to-hand combat expert, but I’m not bad either.” Crown licks the side of my neck and makes me squirm. “Fuck, I’ve been waiting years to do this. Touch you freely. Hold you whenever I wanted.” Crown shudders and squeezes me even more tightly against him.
“I know you didn’t get everything you were hoping for—” I start, but he just laughs, his breath stirring my hair. I look over to see that Reba’s disappeared. Probably mourning Grey. I should go find her, see if she needs to talk things out before I climb into bed.
“I’ve been thinking about it anyway,” Crown says, his voice taking on a hint of wretchedness. “This life is hard. It’s dangerous. I figure if one of us dies, at least you won’t be alone.” And with that beautiful gem, he releases me suddenly and turns that VP look on me. “Go to bed,” he repeats. “It’s getting late and your ass is going to be up at the crack of dawn.”
He heads outside before I can stop him, and I curse up a bit of a storm as I ascend the stairs, pausing when I find Reba waiting for me at the top.
“I want to help,” she declares, standing in front of me and taking in a deep breath, her hands curled into fists at her sides. “This is my calling: to help women and children.”
I can’t help it. Even though the moment is a bit dark—I really hope this isn’t the last time I ever see Grey—I smile at her and let out a bit of a laugh.
“You want to see the club in action, huh?” I ask, and then shrug. “Okay then, let’s do it.”
Reba stops me by putting a hand on my arm.
“You’re … going to have the baby?” she asks, and I realize that I haven’t had a chance to sit down and talk this over with her yet. The decision came on me pretty suddenly.
I guess realizing that most of my family was dead made me want to try something new.
I know exactly how to be a good parent: be the antonym of Cat and Nellie. That’s how.
“Yeah, why not?” I say nonchalantly, but this is anything but a nonchalant decision.
I didn’t decide this because I have a problem with abortion (I don’t) or because I feel guilty; I didn’t decide this because it’s obviously what all four men want. I decided this because it’s something that I want to do.
Reba squeals and throws her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek and making me laugh.
“Oh, I’m so excited,” she says, and then pauses, pulling back slightly to give me a look. “You are going to get your GED, right?”
I give her a look right back.
“Are you?” I query. Reba nods, but her stern expression doesn’t fade. “I am. I will. I promise.” I make an X over my chest, crossing my heart and hoping to … well, not to die. Been there, done that. I’m clearly not ready to die yet. Surprised myself with that one, but there it is.
Reba releases me.
“Good,” she says, smoothing her palms down the pretty white blouse with the daisies on it that I have distinct memories of my eldest sister wearing. It makes me happy to see the garment given new life.
I’ve got this, Queenie, I think, offering Reba another smile before slipping into Crown’s room to change into pj’s.
My sister gave her life to protect me.
In return, I’ve decided that I’m going to live a damn good one.
And I will spill as much blood as I need to in order to make sure that happens.
Grainger was right.
He seems to be right a lot of the time which is annoying as fuck.
When I get back to the house the following afternoon, I see a horde of bikes waiting out front and my heart leaps in my throat. I climb off of Sin’s bike as he curses and follows after me.
“Careful, Gidge,” he warns me, grabbing my wrist before I can start up the front steps. I glance back at him and see that there’s a very real fear in his eyes. He’s debating whether or not to let me go inside. Debating whether or not to run.
But if Cat didn’t shoot me when he had the chance, he isn’t going to do so now—not without reason.
“We have nothing to hide,” I tell Sin, and he exhales sharply.
We need to show Cat that we’re not against the club, not by any means.
I’ve been wondering lately why I feel so strongly about that, why I feel this almost blinding desperation to make things right. It’s not for myself, not necessarily. Well, okay, maybe it is a little about me. Mostly, it’s because my men deserve to have that respect back from Cat.
