Did it work? That’s what it is now, an ‘it’, an experiment. That’s what it has to be, in order for either of us to keep feeling human. We can’t admit that we had a hot fuck, and that we both loved it, and that I’m wondering what it wouldn’t be like to fall asleep in the warm circle of Chasm’s arms.
“You’re lucky,” I whisper, using the passing traffic as cover for our conversation. The very last thing in the world I need to do is piss Kimber off today. She’s vicious on her best days. On her worst? I don’t even want to know. “You might not need to have sex with me ever again.”
Chasm doesn’t respond to that, and I rush to fill the silence, just to make sure that he doesn’t get the opportunity.
“Parrish looks much better. He was up and moving around, drinking a bottle of wine.” I almost smile at that, but the expression just slides right off. “He even flipped the camera off and threw the bottle against the wall.”
Chas lets out a sharp exhale and groans in relief. The sound is far too similar to the ones he made with me in the maze, and I shift uncomfortably.
“Thank fuck,” he murmurs, rising to his feet and helping me up again. This time, he doesn’t yank quite so hard on my hand, and I don’t end up falling into his chest. Still, his hand lingers on mine until I very carefully draw it back, cradling it against my chest. Chas frowns at me, looking me over for a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He hesitates briefly, looking back at the car to make sure that Kimber’s still occupied with her phone before turning back to me. “Because you seem … off.”
I give him a look.
“I cheated on Parrish today, Chas. I … He’s sitting in a fucking torture chamber waiting to be rescued, and I screwed his best friend.”
Chas’ nostrils flare and a muscle in his jaw ticks with anger. I notice him clenching and unclenching his hands by his sides. His eyes take me in with an entirely different glint than before.
“Is that really it?” he asks as I gape at him.
“What do you mean is that really it? It’s everything, Chasm. You said it yourself: it’s beyond fucked-up.”
He exhales, making his yellow and black hair flutter a bit against his forehead.
“I get that. I do. But what else were we going to do? Let Parrish die for propriety’s sake?” Chasm takes a step closer to me, but I don’t have anywhere to back up seeing as I’m not at all interested in stepping into traffic and getting hit by a car. “I’d rather he were alive and heartbroken than sliced up and dumped in a field.”
I cringe a little at that. I know Chasm’s right. I do. We did what needed to be done. That isn’t the part that I’m upset about.
I decide to tell him that.
“Did we have any other valid option? No. But I …” I start, pausing and jogging back over to the car. I lean into the backseat, stuffing my phone into the pocket of my book bag. Kimber gives me an odd look, but I haven’t exactly decided how to explain this whole thing just yet.
I move back over to Chasm, grabbing his hand and drawing him away from the road and closer to the fence that lines a green field to my right.
“We didn’t bring any phones with us to the maze,” I explain, and he blinks at me. The thing is, he’s just as smart as I am. Smarter, actually. Our minds work a little differently sometimes, but in general, he’s the cleverer of the two of us. He’ll see where I’m going with this. “Oh, and also … we forgot the heart pin on my bag, the one that’s a camera.”
He stands there for a second, putting the pieces together.
“How did you figure that one out?” he starts, and I sigh, reaching up to rub at my face. We should really get going. Like I said, Tess is furious about me being late to fifth period. Speaking of periods, I told her that I started mine and bled everywhere and that’s why I was tardy. She seemed to accept that readily enough, but she’s not happy with me.
I give Chasm a quick rundown of my ideas on the heart pin and why I believe what I do about it. He listens carefully, and then clenches his jaw in understanding.
“We didn’t give the Slayer proof that we followed his instructions,” Chasm offers, and then he sighs heavily. “How did you convince him otherwise?”
“I played dumb,” I explain, shrugging my shoulders and then slipping my hands into the pockets of my blazer, as if this moment isn’t one of the most significant ones of my entire life. “I basically asked him if he enjoyed turning me into a cheater.” I look down at the toes of my shiny dress shoes. “He bought it.” Keeping my attention on the ground, I do my best to explain myself to Chasm. He deserves to understand the situation from my point of view. “I’m glad it worked, but if we were really doing that just for Parrish, I should’ve been more aware of the situation. Instead, I let myself get lost in you.”
