“He’s alive,” I reply with a small sniffle. But I won’t cry. Because I didn’t hate what happened. I only hated that I was hurting people I cared about when I was doing it. “He’s alive.”
There’s a long, horrible moment there where I’m imagining all the awful things that Chasm might think about me.
“Anything you want to know, I’ll tell you,” I promise him. “Anything.”
Another pause.
“Was it … did he … was he a gentleman?”
“Not really,” Maxx replies, and I nearly drop my phone in surprise as he comes up behind me.
“You better not have hurt her,” Chas growls out, but I’m already shaking my head. Then I remember this isn’t a video call, and he can’t see me. When I glance up and catch sight of my reflection—dark eyes, green and black hair wet and hanging in loose waves over my shoulders, my lips swollen and slightly red, I’m glad. I look like someone who’s just had a night of good sex, and I don’t need Chas to see that when he isn’t the one who’s giving it to me.
“He didn’t hurt me; it was … I’ll tell you about it later,” I add, deciding that this might be easier in person. Maxx watches my face in the mirror, standing tall and gorgeous behind me, his dark hair mussed, his shirtless abdomen a testament to his time spent on the track.
“Maybe not,” Chas replies finally, and then he sighs. “I’m exhausted. I’m sure you guys are, too. Just … get some sleep. We need to hit that list of places hard. Don’t expect to get a lot of rest for the remainder of the week.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” Maxx says, his eyes half-lidded as he continues to watch me. His words are playful, but there’s a heaviness to this morning that we can all feel.
“Don’t talk to me for the rest of the day, okay? I know it isn’t your fault. Just … I only want to talk to Dakota.” Chasm hangs up before either of us can respond, and I sigh, pulling up Justin’s text so that Maxx can see it.
“Guess we saved the day, didn’t we?” he asks, but there’s not a lot of joy in his voice. “Or … I guess we just undid the mistake I made when I punched Justin.” He puts his hands on my shoulders and kneads my flesh with strong fingers, making me shiver. It feels damn good to be touched like that. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” I tell him, turning around and finding myself in the circle of his arms. He rests his hands on my hips as I look up at him. “You were … that was your first time. I know you were saving yourself until after you were engaged.”
Maxx licks his lips, playing with the small bite mark that I left there. Hopefully nobody will notice or, if they do, they’ll think he did it to himself.
“I’m worried about how intense I can get. Not just physically—through there is that. I really tried to keep it contained tonight.” He sighs and sweeps some of my hair back behind my ear. “There’s an intensity to the way I feel about people. I get swept up. I get overwhelmed. I commit hard and fast. Even as a kid. Just ask Chasm or Parrish what I was like when I was eleven.” He offers a small smile, but it’s different than his usual ones. “Kota, I …”
“Maxx, don’t.” I push away from him, taking the phone with me back into the bedroom. One look at the mussy covers on my bed, and I’m flushing all over again. He comes right out of the bathroom to stand behind me, putting his hands on my hips and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“I’ll leave, because I know Tess will be up soon. But … we should talk later.”
“Why don’t we talk after we get Parrish back?” I quip, because it’s the easiest way to put distance between us when all I want is for him to hold me. I glance back and flip some hair over my shoulder, forcing a smile. “It’ll happen soon. I know it; I can sense it.”
X studies me with a careful expression before nodding and then stepping away again. He glances back one, last time before opening my bedroom door and disappearing into the hallway. Massive anxiety floods over me, and I find myself obsessing over that last night with Parrish.
Our lingering goodbyes, our goofy smiles, the fresh love brimming between us.
“Fuck.” Now it’s my turn to use Chasm’s and Maxx’s favorite word. I put my phone back on the charge pad, crawl into bed, and fall asleep much faster than I expected, worn out and well-loved at the hands of Maxx motherfucking Wright.
For once in my life, I’m allowed to sleep in at the Vanguard household. When I do finally wake up, it’s at Delphine’s insistence as she gently shakes me awake.
