“Shit, the condom,” he murmurs, and then he’s reaching down and gripping it so that he can pull out. I let my tired body collapse on the bed, too worn out to even move as Maxx gets up to dispose of it.
On his way back, he checks the time and then moves over to the window to look outside.
We’re facing the west, so it’s a bit difficult to see the sunrise from my windows, but there’s definitely a decent amount of light outside.
“What time is it?” I whisper, studying the dark angel wings on Maxx’s back. Parrish’s work. I’ve been scratching at and digging my fingers into Parrish’s art. Goddamn it.
“Five-ten,” Maxx says, turning back around and grabbing his sweatpants from the floor. He yanks them on, and I get this sick, nervous feeling when it seems like he might leave. He doesn’t though. He actually climbs back into the bed with me, curling up behind me and sliding his arm around my waist. He pulls me against him with a possessiveness and a need that I’m not sure we can do anything about, that we can’t assuage. “Was I too rough?” he whispers against my ear, but I shake my head.
“Not at all.”
For a while, we just lay there together. Him in his sweats, me naked. After a minute, X helps me adjust myself so that I’m beneath the covers. He joins me, resuming his position. His body is warm and hard and big, and I love the feel of it pressed into me.
Even though I shouldn’t.
Even though this cuddling stuff isn’t part of the deal; we don’t have to be doing this. Parrish is safe. For now, anyway.
I close my eyes and breathe in that fresh grass and sporty citrus scent.
“God, this is gonna be weird,” he murmurs, putting his face up against the side of my neck. His breath fans across my skin and makes me squirm a little. “Why did I think I could do this and just …”
“Just what?” I ask, turning enough so that we can look at each other. Maxx’s gorgeous eyes bore into mine, and my heart begins to race. If we had another condom, we might … But we don’t. And we’re not going to. We’re not.
“Just do this once and let you go,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “God, I didn’t expect to feel like this. I mean, I thought I might … but I didn’t want to.” He closes his eyes and shoves the fingers of his right hand through his hair.
I turn my face back toward the dresser because I can’t look at him right now. And I can’t comment on what he’s saying. I don’t have words to respond to that in a way that’ll make this better for either of us.
Maxx puts his arm around my waist again. When his palm slides down my belly between my legs, I let out a small gasp, but I don’t stop him. He presses his fingers against my heat, and I close my eyes, relaxing back against him.
He rubs and strokes and caresses me until I’m biting the pillow again and writhing against him. Then he sticks two fingers in, and I come apart all over again, shivering and trembling as another climax tears over me. It’s too much. It feels too good. I can’t take it anymore.
I grab his hand and put it back against my belly as I struggle to catch my breath.
He presses a tender kiss to the side of my head, and I keep my eyes squeezed tightly shut. This isn’t supposed to be about feelings. This was … it was an assignment. And yet, it doesn’t feel like one at all.
Just as it didn’t with Chasm.
Chasm.
I carefully slide out from beneath Maxx’s arm, even though it kills me, even though there isn’t anywhere in the world I’d rather be in that moment.
I grab my clothes off the floor, snatch my phone, and slip into the bathroom.
Right in the nick of time. Well-played, my protégé. Well-played. Get some sleep. We have much to do today.
I’m tempted to throw the phone against the wall, the way Parrish did the other day. But I know that I can’t. Instead, I put my clothes down and nestle the phone atop them, showering and changing my cup yet again. I don’t hurry out of the shower either, taking my time and wondering if Maxx won’t be gone by the time I get back.
It’s probably better that he is.
Because I can’t think around him.
Actually, I won’t allow myself to think at all right now.
It isn’t worth it, to let my mind wander like that.
Once I’m out, dried off, and dressed, I call Chasm.
“Is it over?” he whispers as soon as he answers the phone. “Is he … is Parrish alive?”
