Page 14 of Hold You Close
“Of them? Umm, no.” I almost gag. I’m not jealous of them because I would never want to be those girls. I want to be loved, desired, placed above everyone else. I feel bad for them. They’ll be tossed out the next morning like trash and a new wave will come in the next weekend.
“Look, London. I just found out that not only did I lose my sister and brother, who were also my fucking best friends, but I now have three kids! Do I have all the answers? No, but I’m a smart guy and I’ll manage just fine.”
“Great,” I huff. He doesn’t have a clue what all this means. It’s not just some overnight stay, this is the rest of their lives. It’s an entirely new way of living, but I’m sure he doesn’t even get that yet. He never sees the big picture.
“None of this is great,” Ian says, running his hand down his face. “Not a single thing about any of this is great. I shouldn’t be taking care of those kids, it should be their mother and father.”
Softening, I get to my feet, walk over to where he is, and place my hand on his back. “I’m sorry.” My words are full of remorse. “Sabrina was like a sister to me, but she was yours.”
He turns, his eyes full of emotion. “It doesn’t feel real
, you know?”
I do. I keep waiting for things that won’t ever come. My phone to ring, her to show up at my door because David told her to go do something for herself, a box to end up on my stoop that she ordered and is hiding from David, or my heart to stop hurting. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you . . .”
He snorts. “That’s all we do.”
“It doesn’t have to be. I’m not saying I like you or that we’ll ever be friends again, but we both love those kids. I want to be there for them, help them through this, and maybe the two of us can give them some hope.”
Christopher opens the door. “Aunt London, Uncle Ian?”
“Hi, honey.” I watched him become a man in just a few minutes when we found out about the crash. It was an instant switch.
“Ruby is really tired and Morgan won’t stop complaining about her cell phone dying. Can we go wherever it is we’re going?”
Ian looks to me, and then over to Chris. “Come on in and shut the door.”
“I don’t think—” I start, but Ian touches my arm.
“Your mom and dad left me as your guardian if something happened to them,” he tells Chris. “I want to talk to you, since you’re the oldest, and tell you that I would like you three to move into my house. I have plenty of room, the pool, the man cave, and your Aunt London is right in my backyard.”
Chris sits, his hands gripped tightly in front of him. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I ask. “You don’t want to stay in your house?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t. It’s too hard.”
Another sliver of my heart breaks off. “What about the girls?”
Christopher’s head drops. “No matter where we live, this is hard.”
I touch his cheek. “No one wants to make this harder,” I tell him. “If you want to stay in your house, your uncle and I will find a way.” I don’t care what’s on paper; I’m not going to tear another thing away from these kids.
“No, we’re going to give the kids a united front,” Ian commands from behind me. “I think it’s best if they stay in my home for the time being. If we need to make adjustments, we’ll do that.”
I want to scream at him about once again being a selfish asshole, but I won’t do that in front of Chris.
Ian touches his shoulder. “Go get your sisters ready, we’ll be out in a minute.”
As soon as Chris is gone, Ian’s anger is directed back at me.
“Don’t do that to them,” he warns.
“Do what?”
“Make them assurances you can’t give.”
“I didn’t!”
