Page 15 of Hold You Close
“So you’re agreeing to watch them at night and on the weekends?”
“Umm . . . ” My eyes widen. “Who said that?”
“Well, you love those kids, and you just said . . .” He puts his fingers up to make air quotes. “We’ll find a way.”
“That’s not what I meant. I never said I would become their babysitter.”
“Why not? I figure you’re never busy at night or on a weekend.” He shrugs.
“That doesn’t mean I’m your new nanny!”
Ian takes a step back, pursing his lips. “True, but you said you’d help. You said you wanted to be there for them. What better way than working out some kind of shared custody? You can be there and I can work. We both win.”
“Wait, you want me to share the kids as though we have some kind of custody arrangement?”
He lifts his palms. “You suggested it, I’m merely coming up with an agreement. When the will was read, you seemed pissed that Sabrina didn’t leave you the kids, since you’re so responsible and I’m not, in your mind.”
“You’re twisting my words.”
“I’m just glad you offered to help.”
Ugh. “I didn’t! I have a life, I can’t watch them every weekend. How is that fair? I would be willing to help, but not every weekend.” Is he out of his mind?
Ian smirks. “I’m sure your cat won’t mind. And it’s not like there’s ever a man around, so the kids don’t have to worry about your dating life. Seems like a perfect solution.”
My jaw drops. “You are such an asshole.”
“So you’d rather I hire someone the kids don’t know? What if Ruby cries? Or Morgan can’t do her homework? You’re fine with a stranger coming into their life?” Ian tosses back.
Once again, he’s reminded me why I loathe him. This is what we are. We fight. Claw, scratch, and tear each other apart. He’s an asshole and I’m a bitch. We bring out the worst in each other. It’s been this way since . . . I let him in.
One mistake.
One night.
One thing that will never happen again.
“You can’t bully me into this,” I say. “You can’t push your way to getting what you want. I’m doing the right thing for them, not you. It’s no wonder Jolene left you, because you’re selfish! God forbid you don’t get your way. God forbid you have to think of anyone but yourself. God forbid you love. God forbid—”
Before I can say another word, Ian’s lips are pressed against mine. I lock up completely. I don’t breathe or move, in total shock. His hands are holding my face, refusing to let me get away. I couldn’t if I wanted to because our lips are touching.
After a few seconds, Ian releases me. I stand there, unsure what the hell just happened. Ian kissed me. He just grabbed me and kissed me. I used to dream of his mouth on mine. So many nights I wished he would come to me, tell me he felt something, say he was sorry, kiss me again, love me, but he never did. Each day that passed my heart sank deeper into despair. Each week that went by I hardened myself to him. Each year it grew into a hate so deep we couldn’t even be in the same room. But I’ve refused to let him see the damage he’s done.
He just took that from me. With one touch of our lips, the pain returned with a vengeance. Without thinking, I lift my hand, and slap him across the face.
Four
Ian
“What the fuck?” I scowl at London as if I can’t understand why she hit me. The truth is, I know exactly why my cheek is stinging right now.
What I don’t know is why I fucking kissed her in the first place. One second I was standing there listening to her go off about what a terrible person I am, listing all my faults and flaws, digging at me where it hurts the most, and the next second I had the uncontrollable impulse to crush my mouth against hers like I was nineteen again.
“What the fuck?” Her face is all fiery outrage. Her hands are clenched into fists. “You argue with me, you insult me, you take me down a notch in front the kids, and then out of nowhere you kiss me, and you have the nerve to ask me ‘what the fuck?’ I should be asking you that question, Ian! So what the fuck?”
“I didn’t take you down a notch.” I straighten my tie, although it was perfectly straight. “I was putting the kids first, like we’re supposed to. It’s obvious to me the kids don’t want to live in a house that reminds them of their parents.”
“And it’s obvious to me you’re just as self-centered as you ever were. Some things never change.” Her icy green eyes narrow, and she jerks her chin at me. “Now why did you kiss me? I deserve an answer.”
