Page 55 of From This Moment (After We Fall 4)
“Not really. I hear you offered on a house.”
“Yes. It needs some work, but it’s a nice place.”
“When will you know?”
“Soon. Monday at the latest.”
“Fingers crossed for you.”
“Thanks.”
Silence descended upon us, bringing with it a crushing disappointment. This was it. Or, rather, that was that. What we’d had was all we ever would, and it was pointless—no, idiotic to feel like I’d lost something. She’d never been mine to lose.
Suddenly I was angry. Why was I still carrying this torch for her? What was the fucking point? I swirled my scotch around in my glass and tossed the rest of it down my throat.
Then she spoke, and my life changed course.
“I lied to you.”
“What?”
“That night. You said it wasn’t about Drew for you, and I said it was for me.” Finally she faced me. Her terrified eyes were shiny. “But I lied.”
“Hannah.” I took her by the arm.
“Oh God, Wes,” she whispered, struggling not to cry. “I shouldn’t have said anything. That wasn’t the plan. But seeing you is just—I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” I swallowed hard. “And I still want you.”
“Don’t.” She took a step back and pulled her arm from my grasp. “Don’t say things like that. ”
“It’s the truth. No, it’s a fraction of the truth.”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“How we feel doesn’t matter?”
“It can’t.” She refused to meet my eyes, looking frantically around the deck. “There are too many complications.”
Suddenly Abby came running out onto the deck. “Mommy!” She threw her arms around Hannah’s thighs. “Nana says I can open my gifts before dinner if you say it’s okay. Is it?”
Hannah looked down at her daughter and pulled herself together with a delicate sniff. “How about, ‘Hi, Uncle Wes?’”
The little girl looked up at me sheepishly. “Hi, Uncle Wes.”
“Hi, princess.” I patted her head and hoped my voice sounded normal. “Happy birthday.”
“Thank you. So can I, Mommy? Please?”
“Don’t you want to wait until we have cake and ice cream?”
“No.”
My mother emerged from the house. “Abby, darling, you need to close the door so Nana doesn’t get flies in the house.” She slid it shut behind her.
“Sorry, Nana,” Abby said.
“Ooh, what a nice night,” my mother said as she approached us. “Abby, what did Mommy say?” But she wasn’t looking at Abby. Her curious eyes were darting back and forth between Hannah and me.
