Page 56 of From This Moment (After We Fall 4)
I put a little more dista
nce between us and prayed she wouldn’t pick up on the tension.
“It’s fine,” Hannah said.
“Yay!” Abby let go of her mother and raced back inside, leaving the door open, of course.
My mother sighed and followed her into the house, pausing to look back at us. “Coming, you two?”
In a minute, I wanted to say. I needed more time to convince Hannah that our feelings mattered, that we deserved a chance, that I could make her happy. But she was already escaping me, following Abby into the house.
Not that I blamed her—her daughter came first, and I understood that she always would. And I wanted to watch her open gifts too; I’d gotten her a snow cone machine like Drew and I’d had when we were kids.
He should be here, I thought as I went inside. He should be here to watch his daughter open birthday gifts and walk to get ice cream and keep his wife from being lonely. It should be him and not me, and I know it.
But he wasn’t here. I was. And if the situation were reversed, if I were gone, and he were alive and had these feelings for the wife I’d left behind, wouldn’t he do everything he could to be with her? He’d never stepped aside in his life. That had always been my talent.
But things could change. People could change.
And I wasn’t about to let her go again without a fight.
Dinner was torture. I could hardly finish my plate, and I barely said a word. Twice during the meal my mother asked me if I was all right. Hannah was seated directly across from me, and both times, she and I exchanged a look before I assured my mother I was fine.
After cake and ice cream, I helped my mother with the dishes while my dad and Hannah began putting together the huge dollhouse my parents had given Abby.
“What were you and Hannah talking about on the deck?” my mother asked, handing me a platter to be dried.
“The house, mostly.”
“Oh? It looked like a very intense conversation.”
“It wasn’t,” I lied, and changed the subject.
When the dishes were done, I told my mom I needed some air and went down to the beach. Dropping onto the sand, I draped my arms over my knees and looked out at the water. Am I wrong? What would you have done, Drew? If you were me, and you loved Hannah too, what would you have done?
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, my brother was sitting beside me.
“Dude,” he said. “You know the answer.”
“Do I?”
“Of course you do. You knew me better than anyone. If I wanted something, I went after it.”
“True.” For a moment, I said nothing, watching the waves as I considered my next statement. “How could you ever have wanted someone else?”
He was silent.
“How could you do that to her?”
“I don’t know. I fucked up. Everyone makes mistakes.”
I knew that, but it didn’t help. “You had everything, Drew. Everything.”
“Maybe I didn’t deserve it.”
I frowned, unwilling to go that far.
“But you do, Wes. You’ll be good to her.”
