Page 52 of This for That (The Edge of Retaliation 1)
“I heard.”
I look up and see Officer Corel. He stands at the door, his arms crossed. “Sorry. I thought you had a chance. I shouldn’t have told you about it.”
“It’s okay,” I say softly. “Honestly, it is. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I appreciate the fact that you tried, that you cared enough to try and help me. I really do.”
“It isn’t forever. You’ve come this far; you’ll make it through the rest. I know it seems like an eternity, but it isn’t. Soon enough, you’ll wonder what it felt like to be in here, because you’ll have forgotten.”
I nod, and stare down at my hands. “The lawyer said maybe the judge felt like I deserved to stay in here for what happened. He said she was passionate about the case. Is that how it’s going to be forever? Am I always going to be the girl who killed Celia Yates? Are people always going to judge me so callously?”
“Probably,” he tells me. “But it’s up to you how you choose to react and take their judgment. You can either take it in, or you can let them feel what they feel and move on with your life. In the end, you can’t make other people’s choices; you can only choose how they affect you.”
“I don’t know when you got so smart,” I say. “But it’s really annoying.”
He chuckles. “You know, I’ve been in the business a long time.”
“You should be a life coach, not a prison guard.”
“You’re probably right. Chin up, Callie. Just think—you get to put up with me a little longer, and I have plenty of books for you to read.”
I look up at him, and I smile.
“There are worse things in the world,” he points out.
He’s right; there are worse things in the world.
If spending the next few years in here with him as my friend is what I have to endure, then so be it.
I’ve come this far with him.
I might as well see it through.
20
NOW – CALLIE
I stare up at the house I grew up in.
The house I haven’t seen for so many years.
The last time I was in it, I lived through some of the worst pain of my life. Not only did my father leave us in this house, but I also sat in that room, staring out the window, terrified of what life was going to hold because I had just accidently hit an innocent girl. I was so young back then. In the scheme of things, it feels like it was such a long time ago, but in reality, it wasn’t.
It really wasn’t.
I swallow and cross my arms, wondering if this is a good idea. I mean, I have to come and see my mother eventually. I can’t hide forever, but am I ready to go in there and face more than just her?
Can I face the demons I left behind the day I got locked up?
Can I face any of this?
I raise my hand and knock on the door. For a moment, the world seems incredibly silent, and then finally, I hear shuffling inside and my mother opens the door.
It has been a long time, and she’s changed quite a lot. Her once fair hair is now raven black. Her eyes, that used to be flawless, are dull and more a grey than a blue. Her skin is paler, and she’s a lot skinnier than she used to be. Max said she got sick, but she’s well now. She doesn’t look well now. She looks older and so much frailer than the woman I last saw all those years ago.
“Mom,” I say, my voice harder than I’d like, but it’s hard not to feel like that around her. She abandoned me when I needed her.
“I was wondering how long it would take you to come and visit your mother.”
Not, ‘Oh my lord, it’s my daughter.’ Or, ‘You’re finally here. I can’t believe it.’
No, instead everything is about her. I see that hasn’t changed a damn bit.
“I considered leaving it as long as it took you to visit me in that place, but I thought I’d never get to see you then, and I’m not a cold-hearted bitch, so here I am.”
Her eyes widen, and her lips part just slightly. “I see that place has changed you.”
“That place didn’t change me,” I say, my voice low and cold. “People who were supposed to be there for me, and who instead left me alone, changed me.”
She exhales. “Callie, I’m tired. If you’re going to create drama, then please come another day. As you know, I’ve been unwell.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, really I am, but it disappoints me bitterly that this is how you greet your own child after being away from her for so many years. I thought this could go so differently, but of course, I was wrong. I always am.”
