Page 96 of Crash Course

In a messed-up way, we fit.

It’s inconvenient at the best of times, but I can’t escape it.

I meant it when I said she wasn’t part of the plan. I can handle racing flat out on the track, but share a smile with her and I’m spinning off my axis. Talking about our dreams feels like losing control.

Last night when we were lying in bed, her lips still swollen from mine and her neck still damp with sweat, she pushed me away.

You never apologized.

I wanted to say the right words that would fix it. I couldn’t.

“By nothing you mean Shay.”

I glance over. Theo’s leaning against one of the lockers, arms crossed.

If he’s feeling gleeful that there’s friction between me and the girl he wants, he’s doing a remarkably capable job of hiding it. He’s still my brother, still the person I share the deepest connection with.

“She’s angry.” I zip up my fire suit.

His smile slips a little. “It means she cares.”

“She cares about you too.” I mean it as a consolation. Shay defended him from day one, not realizing how much that same tendency is part of me.

It doesn’t have the desired effect.

“I don’t want to be the ‘also,’ Jamie.” His eyes color, his voice taking on an impatient edge as I grab my helmet and start for the door. He falls into step beside me. “I’m a good fucking driver, also. I’m Luca Ashford’s son, also. I’m worth something, also.”

“I’ve always had your back. Every time you deserved it—”

“And a few I didn’t,” he supplies. “Because that’s what you’re thinking. I’m a fuckup.”

I want to argue with him but it’s not a lie. Not entirely.

“Theo. If I win today—”

“Don’t say it.” He nods toward the hospitality area, where the Batak board is mounted near the wall. “One more for old time’s sake?”

I take the first turn.

Fifty-seven.

“Not bad,” my brother says when I’m done.

Then it’s his turn.

“Sixty-five,” the lights blink.

I stare back at them.

It’s a high number. A near-impossible number.

“I’ve been practicing,” he supplies. “While you’ve been busy being Jameson Ashford, running our father’s and the family legacy, getting your boxers in a bunch over a girl, I’ve been trying something new.”

No shit.

I always thought we could both get what we want. If I was a good son, a good brother, that we could all live happily ever after. Or at least our fucked version of it.

Now I’m not so sure.